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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 04:05 PM
  #341
I was just on a group text with my mom and 2 sisters and my one sister said something that totally triggered something in me and i snapped back "i will just shut up then" and turned off my phone. now i feel like an idiot. what the hell is wrong with me?!
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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 05:05 PM
  #342
Hugs, Artie. Nothing is wrong with you. You were triggered and stepped away to protect yourself. You were taking care of yourself.
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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 06:04 PM
  #343
Texts can be hard to judge tone.

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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 06:39 PM
  #344
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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Thanks, Lost. I think it just sort of makes me wonder if I should keep seeing this T. We've worked through lots of things. And he's been great through the pandemic. But it also gets tiring to have to deal with the same issues again and again...
Isn’t he also dealing with the same issue again and again? On the other side from you, of course. Maybe you can talk about that.

He is who he is. Either that benefits you or not. Your therapy isn’t about changing him, it’s about helping you handle life. Maybe the conversation grenades give you more insight into other issues in your life, or maybe they’re useless. Only you can really know.

Totally separate issue: I have 4 hours between classes, so I spent it walking a couple miles around the campus lake and I was thinking about how there’s the rule of thumb, 7 animal years = 1 human year. What’s the ratio of therapy years to real-life years? Like I feel it’s only now after 3 1/2 years that Info is becoming regularly useful. And I’d know that a lot faster in real life. So I posit 1 year in therapy = 1 month of real life.
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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 06:47 PM
  #345
Got my first shot! 6 more weeks and L says we won't have to wear masks with each other anymore!

Tomorrow I "see" T. I'm so nervous!

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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 06:49 PM
  #346
I texted my sister back and we worked it out, I let her know that I've been kind of a mess lately struggling with stuff and that I reacted to what she'd said from that place. She said she's struggling too and hadn't meant to upset me. I think I'm more than a little nervous also about getting my 2nd covid shot day after tomorrow.


I need to get out of the house. I'm off work tomorrow, have physical therapy in the morning. Maybe I'll go do a short hike tomorrow after that.

I'm gonna go cook dinner now (fish and air fried potatoes and maybe green beans or corn not sure yet).
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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 07:26 PM
  #347
I get my second shot on friday. So far, most of my friends (all older than I am and have gotten theirs before me) have not had too much trouble with it - sore arm again and feeling a little blah the next day but not much more than that

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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 07:31 PM
  #348
I am looking over my student evaluations from last term. Is it good to have an online course compared to a Netflix docuseries? (I don't watch them so I have no idea what they're like.)

At least they didn't compare it to a mockumentary.
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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 07:44 PM
  #349
I don't know what a netflix docuseries is. I don't watch much netflix.

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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 08:07 PM
  #350
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Isn’t he also dealing with the same issue again and again? On the other side from you, of course. Maybe you can talk about that.

He is who he is. Either that benefits you or not. Your therapy isn’t about changing him, it’s about helping you handle life. Maybe the conversation grenades give you more insight into other issues in your life, or maybe they’re useless. Only you can really know.

Totally separate issue: I have 4 hours between classes, so I spent it walking a couple miles around the campus lake and I was thinking about how there’s the rule of thumb, 7 animal years = 1 human year. What’s the ratio of therapy years to real-life years? Like I feel it’s only now after 3 1/2 years that Info is becoming regularly useful. And I’d know that a lot faster in real life. So I posit 1 year in therapy = 1 month of real life.
Yes, this is part of what I'm trying to figure out. That we keep having similar issues. So is what he's giving me helpful enough to balance those out? The sort of relationship issues we've had lately have all branched into discussing other relationships in my life (even including on here at one point), so I think it's helping me in that respect. Because I have certain patterns in all relationship.

The thing today is that he recognized how some issues I've dealt with regarding him and our relationship have helped me with my outside life (like, I have similar concerns in my relationship with him that I do regarding friends and family). But he said he'd rather I leave him out of it if possible, to just skip that step in talking to him if I have a realization about something.

And in a way, I get that, but if talking about the step in between (involving him) helps me, then I don't see what's so bad, aside from his personal discomfort, about mentioning it in the process of talking about things. Do I really need to protect/take care of the therapist that much? Isn't that part of the point of paying them? For them to take care of their own stuff? Otherwise, how is it that much different from a friendship, except that I'm also paying for it?
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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 08:19 PM
  #351
I would guess that he wants you to move on from using him as an intermediary step in analyzing your relationships with others and learn how to directly work on those relationships without thinking about him too. It’ll make your real world relationships more immediate. It’s like avoiding distancing when writing. It’s like taking the training wheels off a kid’s bike.

I don’t think he’s asking you to take care of him at all.
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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 08:25 PM
  #352
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The thing today is that he recognized how some issues I've dealt with regarding him and our relationship have helped me with my outside life (like, I have similar concerns in my relationship with him that I do regarding friends and family). But he said he'd rather I leave him out of it if possible, to just skip that step in talking to him if I have a realization about something.

And in a way, I get that, but if talking about the step in between (involving him) helps me, then I don't see what's so bad, aside from his personal discomfort, about mentioning it in the process of talking about things. Do I really need to protect/take care of the therapist that much? Isn't that part of the point of paying them? For them to take care of their own stuff? Otherwise, how is it that much different from a friendship, except that I'm also paying for it?
Didn't this guy tell you he isn't psychodynamic in approach? Perhaps if you consult another one, look for that if it is what you think will work for you

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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 08:44 PM
  #353
Another painting.
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File Type: jpg letting-go.jpg (633.2 KB, 15 views)
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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 10:05 PM
  #354
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I was just on a group text with my mom and 2 sisters and my one sister said something that totally triggered something in me and i snapped back "i will just shut up then" and turned off my phone. now i feel like an idiot. what the hell is wrong with me?!
I didnt realize you had 2 sisters. I would not have survived that!

@@ - thats why ts wanna see you (ie me) several times a week, to speed that up. Im not sure who the slow one is, tho.
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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 10:52 PM
  #355
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I didnt realize you had 2 sisters. I would not have survived that!

@@ - thats why ts wanna see you (ie me) several times a week, to speed that up. Im not sure who the slow one is, tho.

Yes - and they are twins! They are 5 years younger than me.

Last edited by ArtieTheSequal; Apr 07, 2021 at 11:08 PM..
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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 10:56 PM
  #356
I'm watching an old episode of the x-files. man, mulder and scully look like college kids!
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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 11:16 PM
  #357
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I'm watching an old episode of the x-files. man, mulder and scully look like college kids!
What really gets to me is watching Alfred Hitchcock come out, and Im thinking - he's not that fat! Why did i think he was so fat?!
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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 11:51 PM
  #358
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@@ - thats why ts wanna see you (ie me) several times a week, to speed that up. Im not sure who the slow one is, tho.
No. 3 is the only therapist who wanted to see me more than once a week. Guess they can’t deal with me more than once every 168 hours.
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Default Apr 08, 2021 at 12:07 AM
  #359
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I am fairly loose on cleaning stuff. I don't usually wash my cast iron even with water (there are a few rare exceptions) - I scrub with salt and reheat with oil. But every time cleaning cast iron comes up on some of my cooking forums - it is the biggest xxxx show. I am most amused by the hyper clean people who insist on soap - the soap insisters get all unhinged at everyone else - even though they are not eating from those skillets.

I finally told our last exchange student to stop using my cast iron pan (and provided an alternative pan) because he...well, his gf who came to cook for him every weekend...didn't clean mine properly even after I showed them how to clean and oil it.


I came home one day and they had used it and then scrubbed it into ruin. It has taken me a year to get it back to normal and I can still see scratch marks. I'm not even sure how they did that. But they stopped using it after that, so I guess they learned why I'd asked them not to use it.

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Default Apr 08, 2021 at 03:28 AM
  #360
Just got back from the ER with my youngest, who has a kidney infection. I have to work tomorrow, but I won't be able to go the whole day on 3.5 hours sleep. My boss would tell me not to come in, but I was out unexpectedly all day with my oldest at the dentist. Boss had to cover one of my reports, which is a very un-boss-like thing to do and I feel terrible about it.

Good thoughts from the couch are welcome and much appreciated.

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