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Tweaky Dog
LostOnTheTrail
has no updates.
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,776
3,105 hugs
given |
#1
Welcome to the couch, old and new! A place to hang out - sometimes you get immediate feedback, sometimes you don't.
Shouting, "Cool Whip" tends to bring others out from between the cushions if you're feeling lonely. This is a chatty thread. All are welcome. We're kind of psychologically oriented, sometimes. We try to be supportive. At times we discuss what that means. It’s a place to plop down on the couch when you come home from work or wherever, or wake up in the middle of the night, or check in at lunch, rant a bit or not, and be among friends. We advise you not to drink or drug and text your therapist ("T") - we speak from experience. Sometimes the thread moves fast and you might get overlooked; sometimes it moves slowly and all you hear are crickets. Sometimes you get hugged or thanked pages later. So if it's a bigger question, you might want to start a new thread. Grab a cushion, a spot on the floor, or an armchair in the corner and make yourselves comfy. 227 is a safe prime number, and I thought a lot of us could do with a safe place right now. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin Last edited by LostOnTheTrail; Apr 21, 2021 at 02:11 AM.. |
SlumberKitty
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ArtieTheSequal, daisydid, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
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Grand Magnate
StressedMess
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Usa
Posts: 3,068
589 hugs
given |
#2
Thanks for the new couch Lost. I'll be checking the clock for the next 2 hours and saying "If I fall asleep now I'll get x more hours of sleep." Boo, insomnia.
Hope everyone else is resting. Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk |
ArtieTheSequal, atisketatasket, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Quietmind 2
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Poohbah
Quietmind 2
has no updates.
Member Since: Jan 2020
Location: Somewhere I'm working to leave
Posts: 1,243
8 hugs
given |
#3
I'm having a terrible time. I'll be ok, I'm just trying not to drown in my current grief.
I was wondering to myself why I have been feeling too unsafe to share anything to my abuse support group. Why 1 person triggers me intensely. Turns out I was dreading her responses to my pain. She tends to relate anything shared by anyone to her own experiences. That happens to almost every message. Apparently I wasn't the only 1 who closed off. Nothing wrong but I can't really handle a lot of notifications because she's writing a lot on whatever. I've notifications muted but her replying multiple times to 1 item from me = I get all those notifications. Group facilitator basically had to spell it out "Validate without relating everything shared to your own experience." Group facilitator pointed out that folks are grieving their trauma, and they don't feel validated when she just doesn't acknowledge what they say, and just goes on about herself. I'll be ok. I just feel really fragile. I feel awful that I'm feeling so fragile. Last edited by Quietmind 2; Apr 21, 2021 at 05:35 AM.. |
ArtieTheSequal, Elio, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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unaluna
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
unaluna
Female luna moth - Please, dont @mention
me?Thanks!
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,751
(SuperPoster!)
66k hugs
given |
#4
Lost, thanks for the new safe couch!
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CantExplain, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Daffydungle
I used to be Blessedcheesemaker BCM
Member Since: Apr 2020
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1,257
451 hugs
given |
#5
Ok i dont watch much tv anymore and this afternoon proved why. A show where teams build lego things i dont really know what or why, after 20 seconds i changed channels
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SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2
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Member
littleblackdog
has no updates.
Member Since: Jan 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 189
11 hugs
given |
#6
Really struggling. I finished therapy last week which was really hard, but my therapist said she would help me complain to my local hospital about a very bad experience I had last week (because if it comes from her it is less easy for them to just blame it on my being hysterical and overreacting
Possible trigger:
I emailed her my account of what happened last week and... nothing. She hasn't even acknowledged my email. I know she isn't my therapist any more, and she has other clients but she offered to do this and now I just feel forgotten about and it hurts |
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, ScarletPimpernel, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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Quietmind 2
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Poohbah
Quietmind 2
has no updates.
Member Since: Jan 2020
Location: Somewhere I'm working to leave
Posts: 1,243
8 hugs
given |
#7
Quote:
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SlumberKitty
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LonesomeTonight
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Writing my way through...
ArtieTheSequal
is rediscovering her passion and purpose in life.
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,153
(SuperPoster!)
5,709 hugs
given |
#8
Thanks for the new couch! And hugs to all who want.
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Grand Poohbah
comrademoomoo
is losing at chess, winning at blundering
Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,698
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#9
Quote:
What is PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service)? - NHS They might have more specific and speciality knowledge than your ex-therapist. |
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SlumberKitty
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atisketatasket, littleblackdog
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Always in This Twilight
LonesomeTonight
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,696
(SuperPoster!)
74.8k hugs
given |
#10
Quote:
Apparently a big thing now (among teens maybe?) is...watching other people play video games. Which seems really boring! |
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SlumberKitty
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CantExplain, Quietmind 2
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...............
Elio
is not home, please leave a message at the
beep.... ... ... ...
Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,906
8,745 hugs
given |
#11
Quote:
I kind of see his point... I still don't see watching other people play video games very exciting for most games. Then again, I don't watch bowling or golf... or baseball either. I will watch curling. So who knows why something is entertaining to one and not others. |
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SlumberKitty
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Daffydungle, LonesomeTonight, Quietmind 2
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Grand Poohbah
ChickenNoodleSoup
has no updates.
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: In a land far far away
Posts: 1,563
1,300 hugs
given |
#12
I watch streams of people gaming often. There's some games where I'm not good enough to be a pro player, but like to watch the games for the entertainment value (similar to why some people like to watch soccer I guess). There's also some people that are just enjoyable to watch, they might do things like play through the whole game with their eyes closed or some of them set challenges for themselves like completing the game as quickly as possible. I don't have time to get to a level where I can do these things in all those games, so it's fun to watch sometimes.
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SlumberKitty
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BoulderOnMyShoulder, Daffydungle, Quietmind 2
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Poohbah
Quietmind 2
has no updates.
Member Since: Jan 2020
Location: Somewhere I'm working to leave
Posts: 1,243
8 hugs
given |
#13
Quote:
I don't watch because I don't often have energy but I liked watching with him when I was visiting. There are many video games I don't own or don't have the ability to play or have a group to play with. I can barely manage Fallout Pen and Paper with my friends because they love multi hour sessions and I get way too tired. Partner also loves Critical Role, a Dungeons & Dragons show with professional voice actors. I however don't have the stamina to watch long videos, however entertaining. |
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SlumberKitty
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Wise Elder
ScarletPimpernel
has no updates.
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,393
(SuperPoster!)
6,350 hugs
given |
#14
You all are probably tired of hearing this from me, but I'm really struggling and could use some support.
Our finances/savings is dwindling. If our spending stays the same, we probably only have a few months left I won't even say what H recently bought, but it's frivolous. We didn't need it. I know I need to work on my spending too. L says my spending is for others (i.e. birthdays and holidays), and for my betterment (i.e. tattoo). H's spending is based upon selfish reasons, just because he wants the newest and best thing. Anyways, I'm just so upset looking at our bank account. Even with H having a job, it's not enough. Oh, and we applied for rental assistance, but got denied. We are going to appeal it because they only looked at current income and not income during the times we're asking for assistance. I'm scared and struggling with all this. And H doesn't even know how bad it is, so I'm dreading having the conversation with him. I'm afraid he'll tell me to reduce down again with L. She's my main support! And has helped me so so much. I'm going to try to stand my ground to keep her, but it's going to be hard. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
ArtieTheSequal, CantExplain, Elio, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Quietmind 2
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Magnate
chihirochild
is trying
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,360
4,865 hugs
given |
#15
I think my BF might be finally starting to “get” my mental health stuff.
Last night we were talking about how I feel insecure about our relationship sometimes, and he said, “babe, you have no reason to feel insecure.” And I said, “I know. This is not necessarily about reason. This is about me feeling a particular way despite knowing that the feeling is unreasonable. This can happen when children grow up in an environment with volatile adults — in childhood, it was adaptive for me to be extremely sensitive and reactive to other people’s moods. Even though that behaviour is no longer useful to me, it is now hard-wired.” And he started to say, “just try to think positively,” which is something he has said before in these sorts of situations, but I put my hand over his mouth and said, “[BF’s name]. Listen to me. I am very smart and very capable.” And he wriggled his mouth free and said, “I know that!” but I put my hand back over his mouth and said, “if it were that easy, I would have done it already.” And then he shut up and I saw a look of dawning comprehension in his eyes. He was quiet for a bit, and then asked, “so what can I do to help you feel less insecure?” I said, “I don’t think that you need to do anything differently at baseline. But when I come to you and say, “[BF], I am having one of those moments when I am feeling insecure about our relationship,” it would be helpful if you could reassure me that things are okay then and pat me on the head, and then I will feel better.” He said, “aww” and squeezed me. I said, “is that something you’re willing to do?” And he said yes. I dunno; we’re certainly not all the way there, but it feels like a start. |
ArtieTheSequal, CantExplain, Daffydungle, daisydid, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, NP_Complete, ScarletPimpernel, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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CantExplain, Daffydungle, Quietmind 2, StressedMess
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#16
Thanks for the new couch, Lost!
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Always in This Twilight
LonesomeTonight
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,696
(SuperPoster!)
74.8k hugs
given |
#17
Quote:
That's a really good point...I watch my share of sports (mostly football, with a bit of baseball and college basketball on occasion. And like the Olympics). And things like cooking shows at times. (Not so much home improvement ones, but those are really popular, I know.) I know I've mentioned this on here before, but it's relevant. Dr. T is a sports psychologist (plus a regular licensed psychologist), but he's said he doesn't like watching sports. That he likes to be involved somehow, whether playing, coaching, something like that. I asked if he even likes watching the sport he plays, and he said not really. So I guess that's similar to the video game thing. And I guess if it's a particular video game that the person plays, maybe they could learn tips or something. Sort of like cooking shows. |
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SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2
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Always in This Twilight
LonesomeTonight
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,696
(SuperPoster!)
74.8k hugs
given |
#18
Aw, that does sound encouraging, Chihiro. I think you explained it in a good way. Plus letting him know that it's not really about him.
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SlumberKitty
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chihirochild, Quietmind 2
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Always in This Twilight
LonesomeTonight
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,696
(SuperPoster!)
74.8k hugs
given |
#19
Hugs, Scarlet, of course we're not tired of hearing from you. Could you sit down with H and show him the finances? Or is he not someone who would understand, looking at the numbers? It wouldn't be fair for him to tell you to reduce with L if he's doing frivolous spending.
Is there anything you can do to bring in a little money? I know you're on disability, but something like...I don't know, dog walking or house sitting? Or do some sort of craft, sell it on Etsy? Or I don't know what other skills/knowledge you have, whether you could work on something from home part time. |
SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2, ScarletPimpernel
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underdog is here
stopdog
has no updates.
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,701
(SuperPoster!)
1 hugs
given |
#20
I don't watch much tv or go to movies. I am not that visual and I get bored by it pretty quickly. I will wait for movies I like (mockumentaries/comedy mostly) to come out on tv, but even then I don't sit and watch them - I usually put the movie on and then do other stuff with it in the background. I don't watch sports/games unless someone else wants to watch it and I am horrified by reality tv. I don't mind playing sports but I don't understand most video games or how to play them.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
CantExplain, SlumberKitty
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