[Jessica Hazlitt]

I want to know if anyone else has this problem, because it's the first thing I've googled and come up with no real info. Crying, or rather not crying. For as long as i can remember i have always resisted crying, but i don't recall trying to resist it if that makes sense? Even in therapy there were a few occasions i felt like i wanted to cry but couldn't, and I then get a horrific splitting head ache. I have one now as it happens. Had strong mixed memories evoked, shed a few large tears (i mean like 4 or 5) but that was it. I'm on my own so it's not that I'm embarrassed to cry in front of anyone, and aside from feeling that crying is the appropriate response AND knowing the physical toll it takes not to, i still cant. As i type this i just feel odd, not numb, more like ..... ok long story. As a kid i fell into a pond and could not swim. I didn't even try, i didnt panic. It was oddly calm and i remember just wantching the cliff wall rush past covered in crabs and algae as I sank. That's how i feel now. I have so much mourning to do but how can i start if i can't even cry? When i searched "why do i resist crying" all the results were about how to stop if you cry to much. Not helpful. What about you guys?

[nottrustin]

I very rarely cry. It is something I want to be able to do especially in therapy because I know it is a safe place. We believe I can't for a few reasons. 1- as a kid I was told to stop crying or they would give me a reason to cry. 2- I had to hide emotions in relation to my abuse. 3- on a deep level a part of me says it is a sing of weakness if I do.

[*Beth*]

I cry if something really touches me deeply. I'm not terribly fond of crying because it usually gives me a headache. I don't know, I'm not much of a crier. Sometimes, some psych meds can inhibit the ability to cry.

[Elio]

I am typically easy to cry. Once I started transitioning (taking testosterone), I found that crying became harder even when I wanted to cry. Maybe there's a biological reason why you do not cry. Sorry about the headache.

Searching 'how to allow yourself to cry' brought this article that might be helpful:19 Things to Know About Why You Can'''t Cry: Causes, Tips, Strategies

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I usually can cry easily. However, there were a few years in high school where I would cry every night. After a while, though I wanted to cry and felt exactly the same as I did in the situations where I cried, there were no tears coming anymore. Pretty similar to how you described, it kind of hurt in parts of my head, though I don't remember how exactly. I'm not sure why that was, after not crying so much for a few years, I now do not have the issue again.

I'll say that I think you can start mourning even if crying doesn't really work. Crying is calming, but it's not necessary to process your feelings. Have you ever brought this up in therapy, especially the part about mourning? I think it could help to talk about it, your T might be able to show you different ways of dealing with everything or maybe they also have insight on why some people can't really cry. From my short googling, I've read that it can happen when you're too overwhelmed. Maybe that's a possibility for you? In that case, your T could help you regulate those emotions and with time maybe there's even tears.

[nottrustin]

As far as the headaches go when you feel like crying but can't/don't. My therapist and I have discussed this quite a bit. Fir me it happens when I either suppress emotions or have a freeze response. For me in both cases it is because in both cases I am holding back emotions that need to come out but am avoiding intentionally or intentionallly. She believes the headaches are a sign of progress for me. It means that it shows I am starting to feel things in my body even of it is the pain. For years I never noticed pains or discomfort in my body unless it was extreme.

[SlumberKitty]

I'm not much of a crier. I cried once in the 10 years of therapy with former T. And that was the last session which was excruciating. I haven't cried with Current T. Or Dr. K. Or Dr. J. for that matter. I don't often cry when I am by myself. I do tend to cry if I get really frustrated but even that was probably 4 or 5 years ago the last time I cried because I was frustrated. Occasionally I can force myself to start crying if I watch a sad movie. Not full on sobbing but just like a few tears rolling down my cheeks. Likewise sometimes with the scripture (I'm religious) I will cry when I read it. Not sobbing, just a few tears. Crying gives me a headache. I was told not to cry when I was a child. I think I just learned to keep it in.