Couch 228--The Wellness Couch

I feel like I'm just disappointed.

Oh well. I can do it on my own.

Just given up on hearing back from either, though with other T it's only been 24h. Going to try to stop checking.

Thanks, I'm bringing a couple of their hides!

ETA: For those unfamiliar with small animal pets, "hides" are terms for boxes, beds, etc.

Ugh, Dr. T told me early in session that he had to cancel Friday due to a funeral, and I was a weepy, anxious mess the rest of session. I wasn't even sure if I was going to keep the Friday session, as I'll be away, but I was concerned about how I'd react to being back at the beach, where I had the meltdown last month that led to an 8:30 pm session with him.

He said it was someone who'd been in poor health, so this is probably the right time for them. And that he'd debated on waiting to tell me until I was already at the beach, but he wasn't sure which was the right decision. I felt bad for being all weepy, because it suggested he'd made wrong decision, but I said I'd rather know now. We talked about some other stuff in there, but I kept trying to figure out what was really making me so upset. I said how maybe it was because of ex-MC. Dr. T said, "It's not ex-MC's funeral." I said I'd assumed that. He asked if it was because of [ex-MC's wife's first name]? I said maybe (and it was rather jarring hearing him use her first name vs. "his wife"). Of course that was right near the end of session.

He said he was rescheduling some clients and that if I got to the beach and found I needed to talk, to let him know, and he could find time for me Thursday or Friday evening (like 5:30, not 8:30) for at least a half hour session. And he reiterated that at the end of session, to just let him know. I'm going to try my best to not take him up on that, but I do appreciate his offer.

Now I need to get myself together, finish loading the car, and drive 3 hours... I said how maybe this was ultimately good, that I was able to get all my emotions out before the trip. He said, "We'll go with that."

Oh, and because of our state removing mask mandates starting next month, he said that could mean he resume regular in-person sessions, but that he'll let me know.

Makes sense you're disappointed. You matter, and deserve a reply in a reasonable time frame.

Had a very recent rupture with my T because she didn't reply to a vulnerable email where I tried very hard to identify my feelings and state my needs.

Normally I'd not say anything as she's done it before several times and I avoid conflict. This time I felt quite unheard and ashamed to be upset. Tried to tell myself maybe she didn't see it.

(Please, I understand for some, in between session contact shouldn't be over email etc but ar the clinic, email is way more private than her using the phone at the receptionist, and she can reply in her own time rather than cause more disruption in order to use the phone.)

So I brought it up in session. Well she did see it, just felt I didn't need a reply. We talked about it etc but... yeah.

I'm frustrated at how poor my memory is, and ashamed of my repetitive fears of rejection by her or her deciding to terminate me etc. I know she already thinks I seek reassurance too much - she basically "banned" me from asking her if she finds me disgusting. I stopped asking but that doesn't mean I feel less disgusting.

I understand why that's "bad" for my GAD but I also don't know what's appropriate reassurance seeking and what's "compulsive".

I know she's brought up seeing me less frequently in the future. I've never seen her weekly, and I couldn't afford that, but I really don't understand why she's never offered to see me weekly even when my mental health was really bad.

HUGS @Quietmind 2 that sounds very hard and painful.

For those following along with new kitty drama, Helen didn't eat much last night but she did eat some wet food. Maybe a teaspoon worth. She seemed ravenous at first and then petered out. I got her out of the spare bedroom and brought her to the living room. We tried not having the dog on the leash but as soon as Helen got down she swiped at Emma so we put Emma on a leash so she wouldn't get too excited and jump all around her and try to sniff all over her. So then we put Helen down in the middle of the room and she investigated some of the stuff in the room. Once she realized the dog couldn't "get" her she would go close to the dog but not too close. She was probably exploring for 10 to 15 minutes, then she made her way back to the room where she is staying so I took that as a "I'm ready for a break." So I put her on the bed and petted on her and talked to her. Trying to get her to learn her name.


Then I was still concerned because she hadn't used the litter box. I hadn't seen any evidence that she had gone in the room outside of the box but I was worried something wasn't working right after the spay surgery. But I figured I would give it until today and then call the vet.

So this morning I woke up and checked on her immediately and lo and behold she used the potty box for both things. Yeah! And when I went to feed her this morning she was really hungry. She probably ate a teaspoon of wet food and a fourth of a cup of dry food. She didn't finish what was in her bowl but it was mostly dry left so I left it by the windowsill in case she wants to nibble later. I don't want her to free eat but I am willing to be a little tolerant right now while she is still adjusting. I'd rather have her on the same feeding schedule as Amelia and Emma if possible. So she ate well today and she used the potty box so these are good signs. Although she made a right mess with the litter. My parents took her out of the room and vacuumed it because they don't want it getting in the carpeting. I even have a mat down under the box and she still managed to get litter everywhere. She might do better with a covered box but with the cone on her head I figured it is hard enough for her to get into the box.


Then came the medicine giving time. This time she managed not to spit any of it out. Dad and I worked out that it's 7.5 days worth of medication so we still have several days of prying open her jaw and getting the syringe in there and trying to get the medicine on her tongue. But today she took the medication the best so maybe she is getting used to this routine. She still seems a little lethargic but I called Dad around 10 this morning from work and he said he had to refill her water so she is drinking water. I don't know if maybe she is lethargic in general or if it is still the effect of the surgery. She definitely seemed peppier at the animal shelter but I figure I'll give her a few more days and she will probably be her bouncy self. She just has to adjust to the family and the room and the dog. She hasn't met Amelia yet. I wonder how that will go. I put Amelia's food by Helen's door both last night and this morning. Amelia crunched away and didn't even sniff under the door so I think she really has no clue that there is another cat in there.


I opened the curtains so Helen would have a view of outside today. She seemed to enjoy that yesterday for a time. And let some natural light flood the room a little more, although not too much. It's supposed to be 110 today but my parents will have the AC on around 72 so Helen should be comfortable.

I'm less nervous/anxious about her health since she is eating more and going to the bathroom. Hopefully the lethargy improves since she is eating better. She likes to roll over onto her side and let me pet her side and the top of her belly. I haven't rubbed the bottom of the belly because most cats don't like that and that's where her incision is so I don't want to bother it. She hasn't seemed the least bit interested in her toys yet or the scratchy post or the cat tree. I'll see if I can get her interested in "play" tonight but I don't want to overdo it with her surgery.


So to sum up, I think Helen is doing better today. Just the lethargy remains but we'll see how she is tonight when I get home from work. Maybe she will be bouncing off the walls by then. Let me outta this room! It's a pretty big room, 8 by 10 or 10 by 12 maybe so she has plenty of space. Amelia stayed in there 7 to 10 days hiding under the bed before she got stir crazy and wanted out. So right now it's all on the cat's timing. She's explored the living room and my bedroom a little and her room. There's still lots of the house she hasn't explored. Maybe we will have Helen do a little more exploring tonight and keep Emma on a leash for 10-15 minutes while Helen explores. I do think I am going to hold Helen with a towel and let Emma sniff her because I think she will feel better/do better around the cat once she has had a good sniff. Helen will just have to endure that indignity.


HUGS to anyone who wants one, Kit

I called the shelter where I adopted Helen from and sponsored the other cat Coral that I looked at but didn't take. Hopefully that will help her get adopted. I feel bad that I couldn't take her but I don't need three cats at home. Two are plenty. Especially getting them all pet insurance and stuff. And they would all be around the same age which means they would get old at the same time and start having health problems maybe at the same time. So I'll just stick with Helen and Amelia but maybe someone will adopt Coral now since I took care of the fee.

You're such a beautiful soul, Kit.

We are experiencing record temps this week here, yesterday I heard it hit 114 F and today I see it's cooling down only supposed to be 111. The electric co is asking people to keep their a/c at 78 and not to use electric appliances between 3-7 pm. I don't think you can even get the temp down to 78 inside when it's 114 in the shade... but I don't know...

You're hotter than here! Yesterday was 110 here. And the electric company is asking people to do similar things. Not use electric appliances between 4 and 9 and keep the AC at 78. Well 78 is hot in the house. And sticky because there is just a little humidity in the atmosphere. They are already threatening rolling blackouts! Sigh. So all that to say, I can relate. Although you are hotter than us!

I have a studio apartment, and we just have like a motel air conditioner at the front of the suite, so the bathroom at the back gets nothing, and the kitchen in the middle not much. So i have a couple of fans at those intersections to keep the cooled air moving thruout.

Hugs, QM, that sounds difficult.

I'm at the beach now--drive wasn't too bad, and the guinea pigs are adjusting much better than last time, thankfully! Maybe they remember it? Or maybe keeping them in the same small travel cage on the drive helped (they were huddled together for some of it, and they never snuggle with each other).

Glad the guinea pigs are doing okay LT!

It has been summer temps here the last few days i went from a blanket and a doona to just sheets last night.

Slumberkitty Helen sounds like she will do just fine. You are very care-full owner.

Did you end up getting a new fridge? Or are still eating out of boxes and cans?

Thank you Daffydungle! That means a lot!

LT whats you secret to keeping guinea pigs alive? We tried to keep them when the girls were young but they seemed very skitterish animals and i think a few of died of fright when they they were building the new estate behind us.