[Mountaindewed]

What do you think of them?

This new one I have interesting. I like her. She’s a lot like the last last T. She’s around the same age. She does the same blank slate technique that the one therapist used and it can get kind of confusing. She really wasn’t saying much of anything when I was telling her stuff. She asked a lot of questions. My last unprofessional one would make all these fake dramatic faces when I’d tell her stuff and it was annoying. I told the new one I was trans and she didn’t say anything. So I guess she’s accepting or just doesn’t care. She didn’t ask any strange questions. Or eat in front of me or anything. I just couldn’t really understand if she liked me or if she was understanding what I was telling her since she wasn’t showing emotion. She set up appointments with me through October so I felt that was a good sign that she wants to work with me. I’d rather work with a dull one then a real outgoing one. I feel like this one fits my personality better. She may be more outgoing with time too.

But has your therapist done the blank slate thing and kind of confused you?

[LonesomeTonight]

I would try talking to her about this. I think it could potentially also lead to a good discussion about, for example, does it matter if she "likes" you? Note that I'm saying this as someone who has almost a pathological need to be liked, so I'm not making that comment as judgment of any sort, just that I think it's an interesting topic.

Ex-T didn't tend to show much emotion (well, a bit more later on in my working with her, but that was like 4 years in). And it did bother me at times. Ex-MC shared quite a bit about himself (so not blank slate in that sense) and also some reactions to things. Current T--he's definitely not "blank slate," as he'll tell me how he's reacting to things that I say or do. But in the first couple years, he was very reluctant to reveal much of anything about himself. That's changed with time and/or the pandemic. I guess it also depends on your definition of "blank slate," whether it's not revealing much about themselves, not showing their reaction to things you say, or both.

It may just be that, for example, she tries to follow unconditional positive regard and isn't going to feel or say something negative to what you shared. It could also seem like, if you said, "I'm trans," and she said, to give a random example, "Oh, that's great, good for you for being yourself." that you or another client could see it as patronizing. So she was erring on the side of not really reacting, in the same way she'd react if you said your age or where you were born or some other basic fact about yourself.

But I'd talk to her about it. Like you said, she may be more outgoing with time. She may be trying to get a sense of what sort of approach would work best with you, and is trying to be sort of neutral to start.

[*Beth*]

She was probably in listening mode today, gathering information about you that is relevant to therapy. She'll probably loosen up some after a while.