[Gasplessy]

(Please excuse me for any mistake with the language, i'm not a native speaker and still need to improve)

It was 2017 and I immediately felt that the new therapist approach was different from other that I experienced before
She was kinder and I was feeling more connected
We started in june and my life was really a mess, i was feeling it was too late for me
I've been a really bad person in my 20s, so it's difficult to put on a patch and feel relieved

The problem there was that we were just trying to get along when she told me she was pregnant
It was not so easy for me emotionally because I was 29 in a moment of my life when pregnacy was a thing i just started to seriously think about
She asked me if she could advice me someone else meanwhile: I should had been assertive and confess that I wanted her to be my therapist after the pause, the year next
But because I was afraid I could create pressure, i responsabili that it was ok for me to take another therapist (bad experience accidentally)

Long storia short I re-contact her in 2019 and ask for counselling with her
She asked me a couple of time if it was a problem that she took me and then left durino pregnancy
I always answered "no", because it was just a coincidence, and my life was already such a mess anyway for a person of my age considering long unemployent and that I was a university drop-out
But I don't think it was really ok way to manage a patient. My fault was I couldn't show how disperate I was and also tell white lies in the beginnin to cover the parts of my life I was ashamed of

Well, anyway. Just sharing the story

[Gasplessy]

Maybe I could recognize to me that I tried to stay calm and kind to her during and after the pregnancy because it's a delicate moment and I didn't want to disturb
Also she is a lovely person and is supporting me well right now
I'm just frustrated because my life wasn't solved
In 2018 i enrolled in a university course but failed to manage because I was feeling more guilty than old

[Rive.]

I don't understand what mistake your therapist made here. It seems more like a mis-communication, if anything.

She offered you to start with another therapist as she got pregnant. And you agreed, even though you regret saying 'yes' now. Your T only seemed to want some sort of continuity of care for you while she was out. I see that as caring for her client / you, and not as a mistake she made.

She asked you & respected your decision when you agreed to see someone else. It was ultimately your choice. I cannot fault her for that.. she is not a mind-reader.

[Gasplessy]

I agree with you

[Quietmind 2]

I'm wondering if you feel you can bring up your feelings about her pregnancy. Yes, she didn't make a mistake but I see you were trying to seem OK while you were not.

When my former therapist was pregnant, I was happy for her but also had conflicting feelings. Which she understood and we talked about it before she went on maternity leave.

[divine1966]

I don’t think she made a mistake. What was the mistake? How was it not ok way to manage a client? She was going on maternity leave and offer you to see someone else when she was gone. That’s the right thing to do

Is it possible you are holding grudge because YOU made a mistake or because you have an issue with her having a child?

[Gasplessy]

Sorry for the thread
Yes, I made the mistake because didn't open up

[Favorite Jeans]

Maybe it feels like she made a mistake in not recognizing your attachment to her? In not processing with you what her absence might mean to you? Maybe it felt like she was saying that your work together could just continue with another therapist without first exploring your feelings about the loss of this relationship?

[CantExplain]

T cannot know your triggers in advance. Almost anything a therapist says, or does, or wears, or experiences, could trigger the patient. It's what happens next that matters.

Ideally, the patient would say, "I'm triggered by that" and they'd discuss it. Of course you might not be ready, particularly if it is a trigger you didn't know you had. But you can always bring it up later.

[CrimsonBlues]

Originally Posted by Gasplessy

Sorry for the thread
Yes, I made the mistake because didn't open up

Please do not be sorry for the thread. This is what this place is supposed to be for, to talk about your feelings regarding therapy and that is exactly what you did. I can empathize with your feelings about this. Starting therapy is difficult or having an interruption can be very painful. Particularly with something that brings up some painful issues or a longing in side of us, such as a pregnancy. I also know that it can be hard to talk about these things with a therapist, particularly when we are starting a relationship with them and trying to connect in a trusting way. I think it would be worth your while, if you are still interested, to try to communicate these things with this therapist, or with another one if you are seeing someone else. To me, that it is still on your mind makes it absolutely an appropriate thing to talk about in therapy. Or you can continue to talk about it here. I am sorry that you ended up feeling the need to apologize for creating this thread. You shouldn't have to feel that way. I hope you return and give an update. And, feel free to continue to talk about your feelings.