[coolibrarian]

For those of you who are able to text with your T, does T allow texting when T is on vacation?

I asked my T that yesterday, even though I knew her answer would be "no." It was. I don't know why I torture myself this way, sometimes. In a way it was good to hear her firmly say "no," asserting her boundaries. In another way it felt me feel sad and lonely.

[NP_Complete]

I don't text with my therapist, but we do email. He will let me know if it's okay if I email him when he's away and when/if I can expect a response.

I can see why it makes you feel sad and lonely. If you have an attachment, it doesn't just disappear because they go on vacation. The relationship can feel so very one-sided at times.

[Mystical_Being]

I had a therapist that let me text her while she was on vacation. It was helpful when I was missing that connection with her. My current therapist does not allow it and I respect her boundaries and desire to really take a break. For me it depends on the attachment and with my current T there isn't much of one so it doesn't bug me as much.

I am sorry you feel sad and lonely. Could you journal or keep a goggle doc of stuff you can share with her when she returns?

[SlumberKitty]

One therapist I had let me text her on vacation but she would warn me that she wouldn't be available all the time and sometimes places she would go texting wouldn't work. Like if she was out of country. In which case, I could email. It was nice in a way to keep in touch with her and get that extra support but I felt bad about it at the same time because she wasn't truly getting a break. My therapist I have now doesn't allow texting or emailing or any outside contact. I'm not overly connected to him so it doesn't bother me. I haven't seen him all of June and I don't see him until the 19th of July. So that hasn't bothered me much although sometimes I wish the appointment was sooner so I could discuss some stuff with him. I know it is hard when T's go away. HUGS. Kit

[nottrustin]

My long term therapist rarely went on vacation. The first time she did she told me to email her if I needed to because she would periodically check her email (we used email not text). I told her she would be on vacation not worry about work. She told me she was choosing to do this with clients and was okay with using a little time helping clients if needed.

With current T she has said that I am always allowed to text her even when on vacation. Part of our texting agreement is that she is not great at checking text messages so it my be a while even days before she gets back to me. She has a separate number for work so when she is on vacation if she chooses/has time to look at messages she will.

In a couple of weeks she will be on vacation. It is thr same week that there will be a couple of significant stressers foe me. She told me this week she wants me to text her if I need support or just to vent (often just venting via text) is very helpful. She will intentionally check her messages because she knows it will be hard for me.

[Salmon77]

My T has always made it clear that he is not available when he is on vacation.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Sometimes I'm allowed contact with L when she's on vacation, sometimes not. She tells me that it's not because she needs a break from me, but that she'll simply be away from her work phone and can't provide me with a consistent expectation that I deserve. Also, she is never part of my safety plan when she's on vacation. T or one of L's coworkers step in for that.

L is on vacation this weekend and T is on crisis duty. I don't get any contact with L until Tuesday. I am allowed to email, but she won't respond until Tuesday morning.

I miss her terribly already

[Mountaindewed]

My old T blocked her phone number when she’d call from her cell. Even when she was calling my mom just to talk with her. The number was always blocked. My last last T I tried contacting but I did it through the office and they just gave me her email. But she didn’t respond to my emails because of the boundary issue with the last one. My current one gave me her email and mentioned getting back the next day or something like that. But since the boundaries were not very clear to me it’s best for me not to start the email fiasco with her as well.

My brothers therapist texts my mom though. He’s in private private though and permanently works from home and only does telesessions .

[LonesomeTonight]

My T lets clients email during vacation, with his saying he'll read and reply once a day (in the morning, though one time I said I had no idea what time zone he was in, and he said that was a good point). I've reached out to him a few times, but for one of those, he misread my tone and replied in a joking tone, which led to a minor rupture. So now I try to be very clear in what I'm saying and want from him in reply (like reassurance, confirmation he's still alive, etc.).

He's going on vacation for a week in a couple weeks--his first real vacation (longer than 4-5 days over the holidays) since the pandemic starteydo d. My intention is to not contact him while he's away. I am seeing a backup T for one session that week (though lately I've been seeing him 3 times a week). So I'm hoping that, plus some other coping mechanisms, will get me through without bothering him.

Note that he says it's his obligation to provide a backup therapist when he's away for a week or longer. As he says otherwise he'd be "abandoning his practice." I feel that many people's T's go away without any sort of backup in place. So I appreciate that he always finds someone (and he's said it's his responsibility to do so).

[velcro003]

I don't think my T has ever allowed or not allowed me to text while on her vacation. It has never been spoken of, but I think we both understand that it would definitely be a conversation next time I saw her, if I did text her on vacation. She's on vacation right now, actually.

[Rive.]

My T would *never* do so.

Out of contact session? In my wildest dreams... or in an alternate reality maybe.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Personally, I wouldn't text a therapist when they are on vacation. We didn't text though, so it wasn't an issue.

We always talked ahead of time about who to contact while he was away - usually my pdoc. But honestly, it was never an issue. I sort of took it as my own vacation from therapy (sometimes a therapy vacation is a good thing.)

[Waterbear]

Personally I see my Ts vacation/holiday time as her time to switch off and not to think about work. God knows I've taken her time enough during the evening's, weekends and other days off. I feel it's the least I can do to give her a week or two or three every now and again.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by coolibrarian

For those of you who are able to text with your T, does T allow texting when T is on vacation?

I asked my T that yesterday, even though I knew her answer would be "no." It was. I don't know why I torture myself this way, sometimes. In a way it was good to hear her firmly say "no," asserting her boundaries. In another way it felt me feel sad and lonely.

We used to

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by Waterbear

Personally I see my Ts vacation/holiday time as her time to switch off and not to think about work. God knows I've taken her time enough during the evening's, weekends and other days off. I feel it's the least I can do to give her a week or two or three every now and again.

I would never ask to if I could contact them during a vacation for this very reason. When they have offered I told them they are on vacation and didn't need to worry about me... Both my T said when they are on vacation they would only check when they had a bit of down time and in a place to read my messages. I also know that any time I contact them out of office it may be a while (on occasion) before they will repsond.

[LonesomeTonight]

The way I try to look at it is, if they offer text or email on their vacation, that's their decision. If they're annoyed with clients who contact them when they say it's OK, then it's on them. (this is what my T would say as well.) As they could very easily just say, "I'm not available for contact while I'm away" and maybe provide a backup therapist, info for crisis lines, discuss coping strategies before they leave, etc.

That being said, I don't intend to contact my T while he's away later this month. But if I end up sending a "still alive? that's all" question, that also doesn't make me an annoying, intrusive client. Or if, say, something really awful happened during that week, and I just sent him a brief email for support, with the knowledge that he'd get back to me on his own timeline and that I couldn't expect him to have his regular "T" hat one. Now, if I texted him 5 times a day? Yeah, I think he'd be upset with that and would tell me that I needed to stop, and we'd talk when he's back.

Just making sure that anyone reading this thread who *has* contacted their T while they were on vacation doesn't think they're intrusive and annoying. It's ultimately up to the therapist to set their boundaries and to express them.

[*Beth*]

I occasionally email my therapist and once in a great while she emails me. She works in a clinic, so when she's out of the office I have no way to reach her (she only sees her work emails while she's in her office). The arrangement doesn't bother me; I would feel very awkward about asking for my T's time and attention when she's not at work.