Couch 230: Decent Communications

What can anyone have against hedgehogs?!

They're not naturally common to the area + have no natural predators but will eat a lot of the local insects if they escape into the wild.

My sister said that L called her back. And L rarely, if ever, picks up her work phone.

I'm sorry. I would definitely talk to L about this. I believe you're correct that L could only talk to her if you gave written permission. I don't think she's even allowed to confirm that you're a client.


I think one exception would be, for example, if your sister had been really concerned about your safety. She may have then been able to call L and tell her things, but L couldn't say anything back, like couldn't confirm you were a client or anything. Basically could just say something like "OK, thank you."

But I would definitely talk to L about it and find out what was said. And you shouldn't have to, but if you don't want her ever speaking to your sister again, I imagine there's some sort of signed, legally binding document that could state that. Though it should only be that she can talk to someone if you've listed them, like an emergency contact, and even then I think you can specify what conditions she could talk to them under.

We had a hedgehog for about 6 years. I got mine from an educational coworker whose hedgehog had babies. Surprise! LOL! You may want to get a leather glove to handle it. I found I reacted to the saliva and quills a bit (itchy, temporary bumps on my skin) - nothing major, but enough that a leather glove made handling her more comfortable.

We never had to take her to the vet. She simply grew old and died. Life expectancy is about 5 years - at six she was visibly old, sweet thing. Her name was Matilda.

I've just attended an online meeting for work, that felt like a continuation of a meeting I had no knowledge of.

That was fun. Felt like walking in on a conversation I wasn't supposed to be part of, rather than one where my voice is valued.

Hugs, Scarlett. I hope you're able to work everything out with L.

In my dream this morning I was advised to read Rudyard Kipling. I remember reading his "Just So Stories" when I was a kid, so I will start with finding that on Amazon, pretty sure after all this time it will be a Kindle book by now. I hadn't thought about that book in a long time, so it will be interesting to read it again.

First in-person session with Dr. T in his office today since mid-March 2020 (so 16 months--I did meet with him outside once in early June). Feeling nervous about it. Doesn't help that he's just back from a week away. I'll have to sit in a different seat than usual. And I guess I'll need to bring my own tissues? He never said anything about that, but I'll be prepared, I guess. And a ziploc bag to throw them away in. Because I'm pretty sure I'll end up crying at some point. I know we won't be wearing masks in his office. Unsure what other changes there might be (aside from the obvious not shaking his hand). Just...anxious.

For me, when L and I started meeting in her office again awhile back, and I know this is sappy, but it felt kinda like a homecoming or something, even with wearing masks and sitting farther apart. Neither of us were fans of Zoom sessions, needless to say. We're not wearing masks anymore and I think her chair is closer to the table again, but I haven't really paid attention to that.

I hope you have a good session, LT.

Thanks, Artie. Good to know how it felt for you and L. I feel like I'm going to be emotional just being in the waiting room (hope no one else is there and that he retrieves me on time!), then in his office (and unsure how he'll react to that). He has generally been doing the virtual sessions from his office (though from home some of the time), so I've *seen* it, but from a different angle and not in person.


I actually had the option to meet with the backup T, R, in person last week if I'd wanted, but she works out of the same office suite, and I was concerned it would too weird for me to be there for the first time to see her rather than him (I mentioned that to Dr. T, and he said, "Oh, I wouldn't have thought of that.")

It’s sometimes mocked today, but I like Kipling’s “If”:

“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster,
And treat those two impostors just the same…”

Traffics and Discoveries is probably his most interesting work and likely what got him the Nobel Prize.

Thanks @@. I was looking on amazon and found a kindle book "the complete works", so I got that, I have a feeling that working with this dream is going to lead me to want to read more of his stuff. I will look for "If".

eta: I just looked and there is Traffics and Discoveries. I'll check that out after I read Just So Stories.

You can download Kipling for free from project gutenberg.
https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/author/132

Cool, thanks. I had forgotten about that site.

I'm struggling tonight, Couch.

Got a message from a friend, saying she 'really needs to talk to me', because she's struggling. I didn't have the heart to say 'That makes two of us', but I feel like I'm at capacity at the moment. I can't support anyone else.

I have friends that I can say, "I'm not in a great place myself. I don't know that I have the personal resources to talk, but please know I'm thinking about you." We've even gone as far as to decide to get together to just have lunch or something, agreeing to use each other's company to just get away from our burdens for a few hours. My son and I have done that a lot in the last six months. We just chose to watch a movie or browse through some stores or go to the zoo rather than think and feel. Sometimes actively choosing to put things aside for a few hours is really healthy.

Thanks, Artley.

Hugs, Lost. It's OK to say, like Artley said, that you don't have the capacity right now. You need to take care of yourself, too. Or maybe you could both support each other?

So first in-person Dr. T session went relatively well. Had to sign a two-full-page waiver about COVID stuff. He said I was the first client he was seeing in person, so that felt sort of nice. Felt weird at first just being in his office, so we just talked about some random stuff for a few minutes, during which he said "Hey there" to me multiple times, I think trying to put me at ease. But I calmed down relatively quickly, and it felt fairly natural.

Had a fairly productive session. Most of it was about my really difficult doctor's appointment last week. But we also had some interesting conversation about narratives at the end. Like what is in our personal narrative, how we could opt to make it all our failings in life or all our successes. I said how I felt like mine tended to be more on failings. He said how that was part of why he was trying to get me to reframe things with my mom, to see that it wasn't my failings, but her unrealistic expectations. That they were coming from her anxiety and perfectionism and weren't about me.

Oh, in fashion report: brown casual button-down shirt, khaki cargo shorts, athletic socks, and tennis shoes.