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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 03:12 AM
  #41
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I wonder if doorknob therapy could be turned into a force for good. T says, "Time's up". Patient says, "I just thought of something." T says, "Only joking. You have fifteen more minutes."

Farewells are powerful triggers. It seems a pity to waste them.

I'm wide awake at 1 am and thinking about all of this and can't go back to sleep. But I'm getting closer to putting words to what I was feeling; I'm coming to an uncomfortable understanding about something.


But you're right, I mean it's obviously a 'thing', doorknob confessions or whatever, so why do they act all surprised and stuff? Instead of figuring out a way to work with them. I'm just glad I didn't go all petulant teenager on her (like I've done in the past).
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 03:26 AM
  #42
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But you're right, I mean it's obviously a 'thing', doorknob confessions or whatever, so why do they act all surprised and stuff? Instead of figuring out a way to work with them. I'm just glad I didn't go all petulant teenager on her (like I've done in the past).
I can think of no reason why they should be surprised. It ought to be part of their training!

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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 03:34 AM
  #43
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I can think of no reason why they should be surprised. It ought to be part of their training!

Agreed! I was probably projecting as usual though and she likely was not surprised at all.
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 03:39 AM
  #44
I hate that I can't sleep. My session today was overall a good one, so I'm not sure why I'm feeling so perturbed over her and therapy in general right now.
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 03:43 AM
  #45
Welp I'm gonna go back to bed and try to get back to sleep.
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 06:56 AM
  #46
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I wonder if doorknob therapy could be turned into a force for good. T says, "Time's up". Patient says, "I just thought of something." T says, "Only joking. You have fifteen more minutes."
Lacan wouldn’t tell clients how long the session was—3 minutes, 15 minutes, 50 minutes? So they had to spit it out.

Insurance companies would hate that, of course.
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 08:19 AM
  #47
Re doorknob confessions - they probably to not want to positively (or worse, intermittently) reinforce this behavior. They try to extinguish it.
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 08:49 AM
  #48
Dr. T is just used to my doorknob confessions--well, they're more like 10 minutes left confessions. Sometimes it's like I'm building up to say something all session, and then I'm looking at the time and thinking "OK, better spit it out now!" I've mostly gotten better at it. Though yesterday I waited to bring up his going out of town until we had about 10 minutes left because I had other things I wanted to discuss and knew I'd get all emotional with the vacation part. I figured I'd get emotional at the end of session anyway, so why not put it all together? Plus how much was there really for me to say (OK, apparently more than I'd expected...).

Artie, I imagine your T wasn't surprised or upset by it. Could you maybe reach out to her if it's bothering you that much?
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 12:08 PM
  #49
Couch parents - would you consider 5 days a reasonable time frame to submit work for an extra-curricular project? (I should have sent an email reminder a couple of days ago, but forgot until this morning.) I'm expecting some....friction as a result of this.

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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 01:23 PM
  #50
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Re doorknob confessions - they probably to not want to positively (or worse, intermittently) reinforce this behavior. They try to extinguish it.
So the patient goes away unsatisfied and broods for a week and constructs a false narrative. The chance to talk about the raw and present feeling is lost.

P.S. One of the tragedies of therapy is the feelings you get when you can't talk about them.

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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 02:00 PM
  #51
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........

Artie, I imagine your T wasn't surprised or upset by it. Could you maybe reach out to her if it's bothering you that much?
thanks LT. In the light of day, i'm sure she was neither surprised nor upset. she was just being honest and it's true I can 'hold it' myself now that I've figured out exactly what "it" is. I will have much to discuss next week. I'm glad she offered next week even though we'd been back to the every 2 weeks schedule. When she asked if I wanted to come next week I said "No, but yes." Ha.

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Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
So the patient goes away unsatisfied and broods for a week and constructs a false narrative. The chance to talk about the raw and present feeling is lost.

P.S. One of the tragedies of therapy is the feelings you get when you can't talk about them.
Thanks CE.

I totally get that - have done the false narrative thing more times than I can count in the past. And that's why I was on here in the wee hours this morning talking about what I couldn't talk about with her.

I think for me, at this stage in my therapy anyway, the challenge or 'homework' if you want to call it that is for me to sit with the feelings without constructing the usual false narrative; also to hold my own 'stuff' instead of relying on her to do it (through sending an emotional email like I always used to do). I admit at 1 am my brain was certainly trying its hardest to go to constructing that narrative but I was able to stop it before I got carried away. Thankfully. I see this as growth, whether it is or not, and seeing it that way helps me feel better about all of it. She said something yesterday about how this work, this path, involves suffering that she also thinks it's worth it.

This remains to be seen.
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 02:05 PM
  #52
Back from h's appt with the liver specialist. He has to have some more tests, a whole slew of bloodwork/labs and also something called an elastography to determine the severity of damage and then depending on the results the dr said they'd go from there in determining a treatment plan.
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 02:09 PM
  #53
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So the patient goes away unsatisfied and broods for a week and constructs a false narrative. The chance to talk about the raw and present feeling is lost.

P.S. One of the tragedies of therapy is the feelings you get when you can't talk about them.
You only construct a "false narrative" if you wont think yourself clear. If you will keep brooding and blaming mummy oops i mean t. You have the chance to face yourself and grow right in that minute. Like me, thats why im so perfect!
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 02:23 PM
  #54
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You only construct a "false narrative" if you wont think yourself clear. If you will keep brooding and blaming mummy oops i mean t. You have the chance to face yourself and grow right in that minute. Like me, thats why im so perfect!

The hardest part of this work. T can't grow for us, are you saying? But yes. That's what I stopped early-early this morning; the brooding and blaming her that had started. I stopped it, and started looking at what I was actually responding to instead of what she said, and that's when I figured out what I suddenly wanted to say at that doorknob moment yesterday. And then I was able to go back to sleep.
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 02:28 PM
  #55
I'm going to go spend some time crocheting now. One of my friends in an online crochet group just posted a picture of an afghan she made in the bavarian stitch. it's just gorgeous and I want to try it again. I made a little afghan for the cats using that stitch awhile back; I recall it was an enjoyable stitch one of those that looks like it would be harder than it is. I'll post a pic once I get a few rows done.
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 03:18 PM
  #56
I am still taken aback that Info came to session in a sports bra yesterday. And when I say sports bra I mean the bare midriff kind. No shirt or tank over it.

It doesn’t bother or upset me, I just feel somewhat nonplussed.
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 03:33 PM
  #57
I guess I thought you could just see the sports bra, not that that's the only thing she was wearing up top. Doesn't really seem appropriate, even for Info.
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 05:09 PM
  #58
NP, did you end up giving the gift to your T? How did he react?
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 05:32 PM
  #59
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I am still taken aback that Info came to session in a sports bra yesterday. And when I say sports bra I mean the bare midriff kind. No shirt or tank over it.

It doesn’t bother or upset me, I just feel somewhat nonplussed.
Reminds me of when t would manspread with wear-holes in his jeans crotch. After he told me the answer to "boxers or briefs?" was commando. Good times!
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Default Jul 17, 2021 at 05:43 PM
  #60
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NP, did you end up giving the gift to your T? How did he react?
Yes, I did. He said the wrapping was beautiful. We talked a bit before he opened it. He said it was meaningful, but I had told him I found it meaningful before that, so I hope he meant it and wasn't just mirroring me. I was having trouble reading him today I guess, which has left me feeling empty inside after giving it to him.
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