Couch 230: Decent Communications

It does sound like that dream might be about that. How he'll help you, but then will go away. Would you feel comfortable talking about that dream with him? Or is he like my T, where he doesn't put that much stock in dreams? Though we have had good discussions about a few.

I wouldn’t say it’s just about the therapist. Your father “abandoned” you by dying. Your husband (the bf) abandoned you emotionally and then physically. And you feel stuck in a rut (the aisle). So it’s kind of about the therapist leaving, but it’s also you projecting other relationships that aren’t actually the same onto your relationship with the therapist.

Haha. I actually emailed him about it. We have our last in-person session tomorrow (we have a phone session Friday, but not the same thing) and I asked if I could borrow something from his office while he's gone. I don't think he'd have any issue with it, but I didn't want to put him on the spot either.

No, I agree 100%. It's hard to think of someone dying as abandoning you, but when your deep in the feels, it can feel like that.

This is insane -- I got a VM at 4:30 pm saying I am not cleared to work and I need to call occ health and speak with a nurse to schedule a test. My phone did not ring; I think they must have used one of those direct-to-voicemails services. I call back right away and they told me that the nurses leave at 4:30 pm so they can't help me and I'll have to call back tomorrow.

WTF??? I called them at 10:30 am! I should have been tested and had a result by now. I don't want to use up my sick days because somebody designed a completely idiotic system. Why the *^# should I work so hard and continually expose myself to this constantly-mutating virus if my employer can't even bother to take care of me?

Indeed the system as it exists is byzantine, illogical, horrifyingly awful, confusing, dehumanizing, and frustrating for every person who uses it.

We are having daily pop up thunderstorms (a little late this year - usually it is a July thing) and the inherited cat is quite cross. He was out and would not come in when I had to leave. Cat is Displeased. His feet got wet and he had to huddled on the back porch

Cats are not big on consequences and personal responsibility.

New cat is hiding somewhere from our thunderstorm.

Has no man ever stood by you?

This also applies to Inland Revenue, the justice system, and Amtrak.

I lost my cool at a friend working in healthcare after she messaged me about her hurt feelings from my pro vaccination stance. I had shared my stance in a group chat, it wasn't directed at anyone, just me grumbling at how some of my older acquaintances aren't getting vaccinated then complaining about higher restrictions for them. I've other friends in healthcare who got serious allergic reactions from Pfizer or Moderna and were given exemption status but they're all going to try Sinovac or anything that'll help.

Turns out my friend believes covid is a man made weapon. So she was 1st priority in healthcare to get vaccinated and didn't do it. She eventually did after her house mate badgered her or something. And hospitals are now pushing for staff who didn't get vaccinated to get vaccinated or they'll have more frequent covid tests per week.

But anyway, she was hurt at my stance. I was like do you want to die from covid? And even if so, bullets are man made, and if there's a risk for getting shot by bullets, you'd wear bullet proof vests. Gah.

I'm annoyed for other reasons too because I've friends like you all, and friends who got covid etc.

We sorted it but gah, maybe I've ruined the friendship.

I'm probably also extra cranky because she's phobic of "negative" emotions (and I've plenty of negative emotions! Though I promise I don't go around saying negative things), so she'll do a ritual to cleanse the group chats and it irritates me. Muted her and all the group chats.

I have no patience with people who are this willfully ignorant. I understand if there is an actual medical reason (there aren't really many medical reasons not to be vaccinated), but this is just conspiracy theory and I don't have the time or patience for that. I've written off several people for similar views. I've seen and experienced too much suffering much too personally to waste my time with that kind of person.

I guess I don't know what to do because people who believe in conspiracy theories don't believe they're ignorant. They seem to believe they know better than others.

I get being mistrustful of the government, our government has literally lied to us deliberately at times.

But yeah, even so, someone can find other credible sources. There's multiple places on reddit devoted to publishing the ongoing clinical research regarding this pandemic.

These days everyone who dies from covid in my country are those who didn't get vaccinated. So, lots of stubborn elderly who were given first priority along with healthcare staff. Heck, they can walk in to ANY vaccination centre and get vaccinated immediately, they literally can forgo making an appointment and jump the entire queue, yet...!

My brother-in-law (H's sister's husband) won't get vaccinated. I'm not sure he's given a solid reason (just the "wanting more time" one). Because my D is too young to get vaccinated, we've said that she won't be attending any family gatherings if he's there (including Thanksgiving at their house) unless he gets vaccinated, or until they allow vaccinations for kids under 12 (I've heard times ranging from early fall to mid-winter for that). And because my MIL would rather see D, that basically means that BIL can't come to the family events (well, obviously he'd attend Thanksgiving at his own house, we just won't be there). He seems content with that.

Also, the county they live in has one of the lowest vaccination rates (maybe 55% of eligible?) and highest case rates in our state (red on the CDC map). While our county has the state's highest vaccination rate (I think close 80% of those eligible, so 12 and over, have had at lest 1 shot, most fully vaccinated) and a relatively low case rate (for now, at least). So he's in a riskier area (and I'm pretty sure they're still eating inside restaurants, as they were pre-vaccination). He also has numerous risk factors for complications if he catches it, including diabetes. Just frustrating...

It's like... frustrated scream. I really really hope he'll be okay because he's like a textbook case for someone who'll have major issues yeah.

For several worrying months, my fiancé who is at higher risk (teacher, health issues) couldn't get vaccinated due to vaccine supply problems (rural area), and him being a teacher didn't put him in a priority group. Thankfully they sorted it and he's now fully vaccinated.

And his country still isn't mandating masks outdoors, just on public transport so I'm basically pleading with him to take extra precautions even if he looks uncool since Delta has come to Scandinavia.

Other variants are happening but I think currently Delta is still the Olympic athlete among them.

I finally got up the nerve and looked at the results of h's recent bloodwork he had done prior to seeing the liver specialist again. On these results, they show that he has hepatitis A antibodies. I read about that particular result and it says that means he either had hep a in the past, or could mean he has it now. the previous bloodwork we thought showed he was negative for all 3 (hep a, b and c) which we could have misunderstood, or maybe this means he had hep a in the past and didn't know it? pretty much everything else was within reference range except his a1c which we already knew is high, but it's still under what they consider 'controlled' for type 2 diabetes, and his vitamin d is a little low, there are a couple other things out of reference range a little that i don't know what they mean. it was good to see 'green' on so many of the things they checked, though. This liver specialist seems very thorough so I am hoping that means he won't miss anything. We'll know more when we see him again on 8/28. Taking into consideration recent couch discussion about western medicine, I need to choose to be hopeful right now with this particular Specialist, as he seems so far anyway to not be of the unhelpful ilk. I'm working very hard to not be overly worried about h, at least until we are told there is something to worry about.

Hugs all around to those who want/need.

The phone call with J was okay- he was nice but it still left me feeling emotionally drained. He said he would email me times for our first session. So I don't want to over email him first. He also said he would be going on holiday for three weeks soon.

I got dates for my retake exam- closer to the end of sepetember. I'm feeling annoyed and overwhelmed my building manager who wants me to change rooms and move into another (in the same building) by the 14th of september. Creepy guy said he would help me move but it's just extra hassle.

I'm sorry that the call left you feeling emotionally drained. If you decide on more sessions with J I hope they get better and are helpful for you.


Also what a hassle having to move! I hope that at least the new place will make it feel worth the hassle in some ways.

Thank you for understanding. I feel like I just want to cry at this moment.

HUGS Lemoncake