Couch 230: Decent Communications

LonesomeTonight · Jul 20, 2021 at 04:05 PM

Hugs, Kit, I'm sorry you're struggling so much and that T wasn't more helpful. I do think maybe you need a different T? And why are you unable to see him for another 3 weeks?

Can I ask what you do want to hear from friends you text for support? If you even know the answer--I know for me sometimes, when someone says something in an attempt to be supportive, that it's the wrong thing, but I might not know what the right thing is (hope that makes sense, been a long, difficult day). But if you know what you might want them to say, it could help to tell them, maybe? Like "I know you're trying to be supportive, but 'You got this' doesn't help. I want you to say something more like _____."

LonesomeTonight · Jul 20, 2021 at 04:14 PM

Possible trigger:

I opted to do a medical test today, but they were unsuccessful in being able to complete it, after multiple tries, because of some weirdness with my anatomy, I guess. It was a new doctor (who I liked!), and I ended up sobbing, to the point that she (kindly) said she'd step out so I could have a few minutes. It was partly due to pain, partly due to feeling sort...I don't even know.

I just wish Dr. T wasn't on vacation this week. He reiterated Friday that he'd be reading and replying to email in the mornings while away, but it's like I want him to just enjoy his well-deserved beach vacation and not have to worry about me. I see his backup tomorrow, but I had planned to discuss certain other topics with her (and honestly, I'm not sure I feel comfortable discussing some of the specifics with her because I've only met with her a few times in the past, with the most recent being 2 years ago). Just struggling right now...

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 20, 2021 at 04:35 PM

Hugs LT, Kit, Chihro, NP and whoever else needs/wants.

Lemoncake · Jul 20, 2021 at 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Possible trigger:

I opted to do a medical test today, but they were unsuccessful in being able to complete it, after multiple tries, because of some weirdness with my anatomy, I guess. It was a new doctor (who I liked!), and I ended up sobbing, to the point that she (kindly) said she'd step out so I could have a few minutes. It was partly due to pain, partly due to feeling sort...I don't even know.

I just wish Dr. T wasn't on vacation this week. He reiterated Friday that he'd be reading and replying to email in the mornings while away, but it's like I want him to just enjoy his well-deserved beach vacation and not have to worry about me. I see his backup tomorrow, but I had planned to discuss certain other topics with her (and honestly, I'm not sure I feel comfortable discussing some of the specifics with her because I've only met with her a few times in the past, with the most recent being 2 years ago). Just struggling right now...

My take is that he told you he would still be reading and replying to emails for a reason. If you need that support it's still there. He can still enjoy his holiday whilst taking 30 mins each day getting back to the clients who did help pay for this holiday. (Channeling my inner SD here

)

atisketatasket · Jul 20, 2021 at 04:56 PM

Between paying for my therapist’s holidays and Jeff Bezos’s spaceflight, I’m feeling very generous.

At least Bezos said thank you. Kind of.

Lemoncake · Jul 20, 2021 at 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Between paying for my therapist’s holidays and Jeff Bezos’s spaceflight, I’m feeling very generous.

At least Bezos said thank you. Kind of.

Hey big spender spend a little time with me?

SlumberKitty · Jul 20, 2021 at 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

If you're feeling the way you do right now you need an appointment sooner then one that's three weeks away. You need as much therapy as you need to get you feeling more stable. Perhaps instead of thinking about what you're supposed to do, what do you think would help you more? Would the break help distract you? Your health is more important then then cost of the hotel room + anything else. Can you tell your dad how you're really doing?

I think I'll ask Kayla for some hot lines, warm lines. She should be able to provide those for me. Since that's the next step on my crisis plan. Although actually I haven't made a crisis plan with Dr. K so the step after crisis hotline used to be contact T but I don't know if Dr. K would want that. The step after that is hospital.

I don't know if going on the trip would help me or if staying home would help me more. I'm trying to decide. I can still cancel the hotel room and get my money back. I think if I cancel it the day of I lose a day. Still getting something back would be better than nothing. As for the aquarium, I'd just be out the $50 but I'd still be saving money on gas and everything else.

I'll try to talk to my Dad. Really talk to him. It sucks because we have Church tonight. I have Kayla at 4 so there's not a lot of time. Then it's hard to get him alone without my Mom there. I mean, I don't care if she knows but sometimes it is easier just talking to my Dad.

My brain feels like it is in pieces!

SlumberKitty · Jul 20, 2021 at 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Hugs, Kit, I'm sorry you're struggling so much and that T wasn't more helpful. I do think maybe you need a different T? And why are you unable to see him for another 3 weeks?

Can I ask what you do want to hear from friends you text for support? If you even know the answer--I know for me sometimes, when someone says something in an attempt to be supportive, that it's the wrong thing, but I might not know what the right thing is (hope that makes sense, been a long, difficult day). But if you know what you might want them to say, it could help to tell them, maybe? Like "I know you're trying to be supportive, but 'You got this' doesn't help. I want you to say something more like _____."

Hi LT.

I think I have exhausted the T's in my area. I wish former T would take me back but I know that isn't going to happen. I could write her though. I doubt she would respond.

I guess I could see Dr. K earlier if I took time off of work. That was his first 4 PM appointment available. I get off of work at 3:30. So 4 works well for me.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I don't know what would help to hear but not that. And maybe that would be helpful another time, this time it just wasn't. It's hard to know what would be helpful.

SlumberKitty · Jul 20, 2021 at 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Hugs LT, Kit, Chihro, NP and whoever else needs/wants.

And hugs to you Artie

Thank you

LonesomeTonight · Jul 20, 2021 at 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

My take is that he told you he would still be reading and replying to emails for a reason. If you need that support it's still there. He can still enjoy his holiday whilst taking 30 mins each day getting back to the clients who did help pay for this holiday. (Channeling my inner SD here

)

Thanks, Lemon. It helps to read that. He could have very easily said, "Only contact me in an emergency" or "You have backup T's contact info, I won't be checking email that often." But he chose to say he's reading and responding to email. I feel I did good for 4 days without him, without even being tempted to contact him, so that's some sort of progress. Had things gone differently in the appointment today, I wouldn't have contacted him either. It's like I hit some sort of wall in what I can handle (both on my own and with non-T supports).

Quietmind 2 · Jul 20, 2021 at 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Hi LT.

I think I have exhausted the T's in my area. I wish former T would take me back but I know that isn't going to happen. I could write her though. I doubt she would respond.

I guess I could see Dr. K earlier if I took time off of work. That was his first 4 PM appointment available. I get off of work at 3:30. So 4 works well for me.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I don't know what would help to hear but not that. And maybe that would be helpful another time, this time it just wasn't. It's hard to know what would be helpful.

Kit, you deserve better. Dr K seems to not be attuned.

So what if you have Google Maps? It doesn't completely ease the anxiety and fear. Even with Google Maps and researching whatever route I needed on Street View or doing practice runs, I would still be horribly anxious. I couldn't go more than 10 minutes away from a train station without someone with me.

I had to take lots of baby steps to get to not being anxious and then confident. T cheered on every little step and helped me with my shame on how I struggled with such "small" things. She helped me focus on using whatever I needed to BE able to go places, then slowly reduce my safety behaviour. I found City Mapper helped with my fear of missing bus stops and getting lost because it'd notify me with sounds and vibration as I'm approaching the stop.

And that's for public transport, I can't imagine driving or even driving lessons.

And for SH... sigh. He shouldn't just assume...

Lemoncake · Jul 21, 2021 at 03:57 AM

Saw this yesterday. Thought it was super cute.

Owners Wanted To See The Reactions Of Their Pets After They Get Unexpected Kisses (45 Pics) | Bored Panda

comrademoomoo · Jul 21, 2021 at 05:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Between paying for my therapist’s holidays and Jeff Bezos’s spaceflight, I’m feeling very generous.

At least Bezos said thank you. Kind of.

This is golden. I think we see some real peaches on here sometimes.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 21, 2021 at 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

My take is that he told you he would still be reading and replying to emails for a reason. If you need that support it's still there. He can still enjoy his holiday whilst taking 30 mins each day getting back to the clients who did help pay for this holiday. (Channeling my inner SD here

)

Dr. T ended up sending a very supportive response to my email this morning. It felt really validating (particularly regarding one reaction I'd mentioned), which is what I needed. So I'm glad I reached out to him.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 21, 2021 at 09:34 AM

Scarlet, how are you doing?

SlumberKitty · Jul 21, 2021 at 12:36 PM

Kayla, my case manager/care coordinator person, did not discharge me. She wants me to talk to a different Pdoc because she's not sure the medications I'm on are right for me. So just like get a second opinion. That's my homework. I have two weeks to make an appointment. She was worried because of the suicidal thoughts and SH thoughts last night. She told me if I get worse to go to the ER.

SlumberKitty · Jul 21, 2021 at 12:39 PM

I made the difficult decision not to go to my sister's Thursday through Saturday. My parents thought I should go. That even though I'm terribly depressed, maybe the break would be good for me. My Mom offered to go with me but she didn't have a ticket to the Aquarium so what was she going to do just stay in the hotel all day, boring! So I cancelled my hotel, which I should get a refund within 30 days and I'm out the ticket for the aquarium, but whatever. I texted my sister and my niece and told them I wasn't coming. My sister sent me a gift card to Starbucks. That was sweet of her. I didn't tell my niece I was/am suicidal but I told my sister. I just told my niece I'm very depressed. My parents said they haven't seen me this depressed in a while. I don't feel all the way better this morning but I do have some relief that I am not going on the trip. I think the trip was stressing me out too much. I'm still going to take Thursday and Friday off of work but I am just not going to go to my sisters. I will rest and recuperate at home.

Lemoncake · Jul 21, 2021 at 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I made the difficult decision not to go to my sister's Thursday through Saturday. My parents thought I should go. That even though I'm terribly depressed, maybe the break would be good for me. My Mom offered to go with me but she didn't have a ticket to the Aquarium so what was she going to do just stay in the hotel all day, boring! So I cancelled my hotel, which I should get a refund within 30 days and I'm out the ticket for the aquarium, but whatever. I texted my sister and my niece and told them I wasn't coming. My sister sent me a gift card to Starbucks. That was sweet of her. I didn't tell my niece I was/am suicidal but I told my sister. I just told my niece I'm very depressed. My parents said they haven't seen me this depressed in a while. I don't feel all the way better this morning but I do have some relief that I am not going on the trip. I think the trip was stressing me out too much. I'm still going to take Thursday and Friday off of work but I am just not going to go to my sisters. I will rest and recuperate at home.

I'm glad you've made the best choice for yourself which includes some rest and being honest with Kayla.

Just wondering can you post your niece your aquarium ticket if it's physical. We have a guaranteed next day delivery service by 1pm.

SlumberKitty · Jul 21, 2021 at 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I'm glad you've made the best choice for yourself which includes some rest and being honest with Kayla.

Just wondering can you post your niece your aquarium ticket if it's physical. We have a guaranteed next day delivery service by 1pm.

Thanks Lemoncake,

My sister has my aquarium ticket. It is for a specific day (Friday) at a specific time (12:30) if she can't find someone else to go with her then I wasted $50 on a ticket that will go unused. But maybe my sister can invite one of my niece's friends or something to go with them and use the ticket. If not, oh well, $50 is $50 but maybe she can get a refund if she doesn't use it? I Zelled her the money so my sister didn't pay for the ticket. So at least there's that.

SlumberKitty · Jul 21, 2021 at 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Kayla, my case manager/care coordinator person, did not discharge me. She wants me to talk to a different Pdoc because she's not sure the medications I'm on are right for me. So just like get a second opinion. That's my homework. I have two weeks to make an appointment. She was worried because of the suicidal thoughts and SH thoughts last night. She told me if I get worse to go to the ER.

I made an appointment with a Dr K (not to be confused with my T Dr K) for a consult for psych meds. I probably have to fill out a list of all the medications that I am on. At least this appointment will only cost me $30 and not $200 like my other pdoc. I'm just worried that my other pdoc will be annoyed that I got a second opinion.

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Couch 230: Decent Communications

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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,224 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,756 hugs given	Jul 20, 2021 at 04:35 PM #123 Hugs LT, Kit, Chihro, NP and whoever else needs/wants.

atisketatasket Child of a lesser god Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Tartarus Posts: 19,146 (SuperPoster!) 8 12.4k hugs given	Jul 20, 2021 at 04:56 PM #125 Between paying for my therapist’s holidays and Jeff Bezos’s spaceflight, I’m feeling very generous. At least Bezos said thank you. Kind of.

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,692 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Jul 21, 2021 at 03:57 AM #132 Saw this yesterday. Thought it was super cute. Owners Wanted To See The Reactions Of Their Pets After They Get Unexpected Kisses (45 Pics) \| Bored Panda __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,739 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Jul 21, 2021 at 09:34 AM #135 Scarlet, how are you doing?