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atisketatasket
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 01:09 PM
  #141
If you end up liking one Dr. K better than the other we can call him Special K.
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 01:16 PM
  #142
We're all caught up on sMothered on TLC and have now switched to Extreme Sisters. It's very similar in entertainment value and it stresses me out quite a bit less. Maybe because I have both a mother and a daughter, but I don't have a sister/twin.
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 01:22 PM
  #143
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I made the difficult decision not to go to my sister's Thursday through Saturday. My parents thought I should go. That even though I'm terribly depressed, maybe the break would be good for me. My Mom offered to go with me but she didn't have a ticket to the Aquarium so what was she going to do just stay in the hotel all day, boring! So I cancelled my hotel, which I should get a refund within 30 days and I'm out the ticket for the aquarium, but whatever. I texted my sister and my niece and told them I wasn't coming. My sister sent me a gift card to Starbucks. That was sweet of her. I didn't tell my niece I was/am suicidal but I told my sister. I just told my niece I'm very depressed. My parents said they haven't seen me this depressed in a while. I don't feel all the way better this morning but I do have some relief that I am not going on the trip. I think the trip was stressing me out too much. I'm still going to take Thursday and Friday off of work but I am just not going to go to my sisters. I will rest and recuperate at home.

It sounds like you made the best decision for you. Sending lots of hugs.
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 01:25 PM
  #144
Haha...I needed that laugh, @@.
I've just had a session where I've been trying to make sense of anger, trying to hold it together, and trying to trust that R can hold that anger for me.

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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 01:26 PM
  #145
I got off work early today, used my PTO so I get paid for it. I'm scheduled for live chat again next week, so won't be able to leave early, figured I'd take it while I can! Even after using some today, I have 60 hours available right now. Hoping to use 40 hours in December around Christmastime to visit my family. Can't put in for the time off until late September, which sucks because it's always a battle to try to get the week of Christmas off. I normally don't care but this year, with covid still happening and stuff, not to be morbid but I just feel the need to spend what might be one last Christmas with my Mom still around. She'll be 82 this December and is pretty healthy, but you just never know.
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 01:32 PM
  #146
Also, I'm so jazzed about the Culture Ambassador thing at work! I'm going to be writing a column or whatever now for our monthly departmental newsletter, which is exciting as well. Already started my first article, which of course is about the culture stuff.
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 01:34 PM
  #147
Congratulations, Artie! That sounds right up your street.

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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 01:43 PM
  #148
Oh and h has one of his next appointments scheduled re: the liver disease thing, for the extensive labs the specialist ordered. Still waiting to get the 2nd liver scan scheduled. I'm doing pretty well in managing not to catastrophize the situation, but it's still on my mind quite a bit. He's been working a lot and feeling good, so that helps me to not overly worry. We both really like the specialist so far, he seems to be very conscientious and thorough, so that's another plus.
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 02:00 PM
  #149
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Scarlet, how are you doing?
Actually doing well. Thank you

L and I are doing so good right now. And I didn't get the "welcome back jitters" when she got back from her vacation. I think it's because she told me that not only does she hold me and our relationship in her heart, but that she "chooses" to be with me. Those two things I've really been able to hold onto. We still have one more thing to work out from our last rupture, but almost everything is worked through and healed.

My birthday is Sunday. I'm so nervous and excited! H, his mom, and I are going out to dinner Friday. Saturday morning I see L, and then go shopping with my mom. And then Sunday night, my dad and sister have some sort of surprise for me. I bought my nieces some presents for my birthday because they're probably too young to understand why Auntie is getting gifts and not them.

We still haven't heard anything from CPS. My sister is like waiting for doomsday. I told her to go about her life like normal. She's already signed up for an alcoholic group, so that's good. I'm hoping she still has the girls for my birthday.

Oh, and H has been super good to me. Not only has he taken me shopping for my birthday, he's let me shop online too. And then when all the stuff happened with my sister, he let me cry without trying to fix it. And then he told me to take my anxiety meds and get some sleep, and then tucked me into bed. We haven't been fighting or anything.

Also, I asked my Pdoc and PCP if we could reduce down to every 3 months instead of every 6 weeks. They both agreed because of how stable I've been.

So yeah, I'm doing really good.

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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 02:28 PM
  #150
Great to hear Scarlet. Happy early birthday!

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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 02:33 PM
  #151
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I made an appointment with a Dr K (not to be confused with my T Dr K) for a consult for psych meds. I probably have to fill out a list of all the medications that I am on. At least this appointment will only cost me $30 and not $200 like my other pdoc. I'm just worried that my other pdoc will be annoyed that I got a second opinion.

If he's a good doctor/p-doc, then he should support your getting a second opinion. They should want what's best for their patients. I hope this Dr. K can help.
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 02:33 PM
  #152
Glad to hear that, Scarlet!
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 02:37 PM
  #153
I think I made backup T cry. Do I get some sort of extra points for that? It was R, who I'd seen a few times in the past, but the most recent time was about 2 years ago. She was helpful in talking through some stuff about Dr. T and my vision for how my relationship with him would be a year from now. Like, less dependent, getting support/guidance from him, but seeing him less often and being generally OK with his going out of town or canceling a session. She was referring to it as my "painting" of the future. I think having a vision like that will help me. And also believing I can get there.


She was also helpful in processing something from yesterday's doctor's appointment.
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 02:50 PM
  #154
So glad your appointment with R went well, LT. I don't think I've ever made a T cry so yes, you do get extra points for that. I like your painting of the future. That sounds good. I'm glad she was helpful with the medical stuff too. Dr K was pretty dismissive about my upcoming diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound. It's nice when they are actually helpful!

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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 04:00 PM
  #155
I doubt I would have noticed if a therapist was crying but I also doubt that would have been a conclusion I drew from their actions even if I did pay attention to them. I think so little is actually worth crying about that I would never think a therapist was crying near me when I can't think of any reason one would have to cry over anything I said.

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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 04:41 PM
  #156
I fell asleep sitting on the couch while h was watching a movie, just woke up. I guess i was tired. taking a mid-day nap felt pretty good.
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 05:11 PM
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So glad your appointment with R went well, LT. I don't think I've ever made a T cry so yes, you do get extra points for that. I like your painting of the future. That sounds good. I'm glad she was helpful with the medical stuff too. Dr K was pretty dismissive about my upcoming diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound. It's nice when they are actually helpful!

Thanks, Kit. I'm sorry Dr. K was so dismissive...it makes sense that you're worried about those, and he should have validated that. Are you sure there are no other T options in your area? Or, if you're willing to meet with one virtually, I'd imagine you could meet with any one in the state.
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 05:26 PM
  #158
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We're all caught up on sMothered on TLC and have now switched to Extreme Sisters. It's very similar in entertainment value and it stresses me out quite a bit less. Maybe because I have both a mother and a daughter, but I don't have a sister/twin.
Cher's baby really does look EXACTLY like her dad! I mean even the expressions, its so funny!

I will try extreme sisters. Right now im watching Acorn / Robson Green / Wire in the Blood. Robson (from Grantchester) plays a psychologist helping the cops profile serial killers. Kinda gory and Robson is cuter now that hes older but not bad back then.
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 06:42 PM
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I doubt I would have noticed if a therapist was crying but I also doubt that would have been a conclusion I drew from their actions even if I did pay attention to them. I think so little is actually worth crying about that I would never think a therapist was crying near me when I can't think of any reason one would have to cry over anything I said.
Info cried once. Well, got weepy is more accurate, since crying implies more tears streaming down the face. I wasn’t sure, so I asked. She was.

I suppose it made sense—I had told her a threat I received from 2ex (major trigger)

Possible trigger:


Otherwise, I haven’t noticed if my therapists have cried. It wouldn’t make me feel better if they did, and it didn’t when Info cried. It doesn’t make me feel better when she gets angry, either, which has happened a few times.
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 06:44 PM
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Cher's baby really does look EXACTLY like her dad! I mean even the expressions, its so funny!

I will try extreme sisters. Right now im watching Acorn / Robson Green / Wire in the Blood. Robson (from Grantchester) plays a psychologist helping the cops profile serial killers. Kinda gory and Robson is cuter now that hes older but not bad back then.
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