advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
LostOnTheTrail
Tweaky Dog
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
LostOnTheTrail has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,777
10 yr Member
3,105 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 25, 2021 at 09:45 AM
  #1
Hi, all.

I've searched the forum, and couldn't find anything on this topic.
If you've used unsent letters within your therapy experience, have you then shared them with your therapist?

I have a break coming up imminently in my work with R. She's taking a couple of weeks' leave over the summer holidays. I'm thinking about using some of that time to write an unsent letter to Steve, and then taking it to session at some point when we resume...or maybe saving it until we return to in person work, hopefully in a few weeks. (I would appreciate restraint in comments about this...we have a loose timeline, but of course, it may all change.)


The complicating factor is that I don't really have words for the impact of this experience yet. I've faced a lot of grief, but this was a bombshell.


I would be very interested to read about your experiences of using unsent letters in the therapeutic space.

Thanks,

Lost

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
RoxanneToto
 
Thanks for this!
RoxanneToto

advertisement
atisketatasket
Child of a lesser god
 
atisketatasket's Avatar
atisketatasket I may be @@, but please dont @ me.
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,137 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
12.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 25, 2021 at 09:52 AM
  #2
I wrote a letter to

Possible trigger:


This was at No. 3’s suggestion. Obviously it wasn’t sendable, so I emailed it to her. Frankly the experience didn’t do anything for me. I don’t think it would have done anything if he’d actually read it, either. My feeling is I have nothing to say on the subject—I just want to focus on living with the aftermath.

But I also think it’s probably worth a try at least, to see if it helps you.
atisketatasket is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
chihirochild, LostOnTheTrail, RoxanneToto
 
Thanks for this!
LostOnTheTrail
Waterbear
Magnate
Waterbear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: England
Posts: 2,408
8 yr Member
1,316 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 25, 2021 at 10:12 AM
  #3
I wrote a letter to my Mum who had passed away. I found it incredibly helpful, and yes, I shared it. My T read it out loud.
Waterbear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
LostOnTheTrail
LostOnTheTrail
Tweaky Dog
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
LostOnTheTrail has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,777
10 yr Member
3,105 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 25, 2021 at 10:22 AM
  #4
Thanks, Waterbear.

I'm sorry for your loss. How did you find the experience of your T reading something you'd written back to you? I think R has asked in the past whether I'd like her to read something I've written aloud, or just read it to herself.

That may be another point in favour of waiting until we're back working in person, in fact. Something to think about, anyway.

Take care,

Lost

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
RoxanneToto
Grand Poohbah
RoxanneToto has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2020
Location: England
Posts: 1,692
3 yr Member
6,991 hugs
given
Default Jul 25, 2021 at 11:06 AM
  #5
My T has suggested writing letters to my parents. I’m considering it, but have trouble finding the words to start. I do find writing cathartic, so it probably will help me.
RoxanneToto is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Waterbear
Magnate
Waterbear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: England
Posts: 2,408
8 yr Member
1,316 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 25, 2021 at 11:24 AM
  #6
Thanks Lost,

My T used to read things I had written ALL the time. I hardly talked in sessions so I would take writings in and she would read them. I really liked it. It allowed me to hear her voice. It allowed me to really hear what I had written. While looking at her. Seeing her I guess. I couldn't look at her while she was talking to me, so this way I got to see her face and hear her voice as she was engaged in reading.

I hope that helps?
Waterbear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
amandalouise
Wise Elder
 
amandalouise's Avatar
amandalouise has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
Posts: 9,133
15 yr Member
884 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 25, 2021 at 11:51 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail View Post
Hi, all.

I've searched the forum, and couldn't find anything on this topic.
If you've used unsent letters within your therapy experience, have you then shared them with your therapist?

I have a break coming up imminently in my work with R. She's taking a couple of weeks' leave over the summer holidays. I'm thinking about using some of that time to write an unsent letter to Steve, and then taking it to session at some point when we resume...or maybe saving it until we return to in person work, hopefully in a few weeks. (I would appreciate restraint in comments about this...we have a loose timeline, but of course, it may all change.)


The complicating factor is that I don't really have words for the impact of this experience yet. I've faced a lot of grief, but this was a bombshell.


I would be very interested to read about your experiences of using unsent letters in the therapeutic space.

Thanks,

Lost
yes I have wrote what you call unsent letters. out here in NY its actually a therapy technique for people who are victims of sexual abuse. many survivors dont have the opportunity to literally confront their abusers. writing letters that you dont send is a way for victims to confront their abusers with out actually having to deal with confronting in person.

my first letter was wrote when I was a child in the system for my protection. my parents and social services were prosecuting my abusers. I was placed outside of that town and area where the abusers were, during the process. I was in that feeling powerless, low self esteem place of mind. my therapist came in one day carrying a box. inside the box was crayons, markers, pens, pencils, paper of all kinds. she said today we are going to write a letter to your abusers, we wont be sending it and they wont see it, you get to make and write ...........anything.......... you want to, to show them how you feel.

At first I was scared, I think half the appointment time was used up with me just staring at that box before I finally picked up a marker, drew a male figure then ripped that paper well cant describe it here but imagine dismembering a paper in strategic ways. then I took another paper and wrote a list of words, not so nice and not so clean. then I took another piece of paper and wrote a letter. this went on and one, our time ran out but my therapist didnt stop me. I stopped only when all the paper and so on was depleted.

as an adult I still do this. I remember the first book I worked in as an adult survivor of child sexual abuse... the courage to heal by laura davis and ellen bass wrote in the 1980's, had this writing activity so again I did this therapy technique with my therapist.

there are many books out there for people with PTSD from abuse that have this activity in them.

that began my life of doing this therapy technique of writing what you call unsent letters. I still do this today. they are a big part of my journaling. how that happened was I got tired of having all these individual letters in a box. so I got a notebook and write them in there, then I got tired of having a bunch of spiral bound notebooks around my home full of unsent letters. so then I just started doing my unsent letter writing in my journal on my computer files. to date if I added them all up there would probably be well over 5000 unsent letters.

do I share them with my therapist yes sometimes I do.
amandalouise is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
LostOnTheTrail
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:15 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.