T reaction to stalking

So, another comment on the googling. There's also the concern that you might find something you'd rather you hadn't known. Or that maybe you'd want clarification on. But then you're sort of stuck, because to talk about it would be to admit that you'd googled.

With my T, his wife made a post in a Facebook parenting group that I'd been a member of before I started seeing him. I told him that I saw the post, and she removed herself from the group and deleted most of her previous posts. But before she did that, I did read some past posts of hers (I did admit this to my T, and he understand, saying it was a group I was in). There were a few things she posted that made me wonder, particularly regarding her stance on a certain issue with kids on the autism spectrum (my daughter is, and from something ex-T told me, T's son may be, or was at least thought to be at one time--complicated story). But I felt weird asking him about them, because they were things I probably shouldn't have seen. Would have been even more so if I'd done googling on my own.

An amusing note: One time he made reference to where he grew up, and I said something like, "Yeah, if you grew up in x county [in our state], then [blah blah blah.]." And he gave me a look, like he was disturbed that I knew where he grew up. I don't think I said anything at the time, but I emailed him later saying how he'd looked disturbed, but he had that info in the bio of his professional website (like on the front page of it: "I grew up in [x city]") He replied saying he was bothered at first, but then he checked his own website and realized it was on there, which he'd forgotten about, so he apologized for his reaction.

Oops!

It is the nature of Ts to put up boundaries, and the nature of patients to resent them. Therapeutic tension, I guess.