Self Soothing

Hi Everyone,

So it is a while until my next T appointment. I am feeling increasingly fragile, and unprotected (though I don't know from what), and panicky. I haven't really gone over this with T like a crisis plan or anything, which now that I think about it, knowing my background that seems a bit negligent on his part.


So I am increasingly feeling the need to be comforted and soothed. I gotta do this for myself because besides getting hugs at Church on Sunday I'm basically by myself in this regard. So how do you all self soothe or self comfort to get through from one T appointment to another when you're feeling fragile and such? What are some good self soothing ideas?


Thanks, HUGS Kit

So not sure if this counts as "self-soothing" exactly. But one of the things I've been talking about the past couple sessions with Dr. T is activities that you can become really immersed in, so it takes your mind off other things. It could be something like painting (or other creative things), playing musical instrument, exercise, a craft like cross-stitch, exercise (including more gentle things like yoga), listening to music that you're really absorbed in, watching a TV show or movie you're really into, things like that.

He said today how you can't get your mind to not think things. Like just saying "OK brain, stop thinking of that." How it works better to get involved in something else, so that your mind will be occupied.

Not sure if that will help at all, as I know it's a bit different from self-soothing. But maybe also just think about what might make you feel comforted, like petting your cats, curling up under a fuzzy blanket, things like that.

Hugs, if wanted.

Thanks LT. Hugs always appreciated. These ideas are good, and I'll probably use some of them when I'm not at work.


I should have specified, I'm at work and I need to self soothe because I'm on the verge of a panic attack. Besides taking some Xanax, I'm not sure what I can do to self soothe. I put on some music to try to help me and I am doing some deep breathing. Like in for four. pause for four. out for four. pause for four. To try to ward off the panic. I don't even know why I am panicking.

Hugs, Kit. There are some meditation apps you can use on your phone or, depending on how restrictive your internet is at work, videos on Youtube (though I guess you could also use those on your phone). I tend to do better with some sort of guided meditation than just sitting and trying to breathe in and out slowly, though that can help at times, too.

In terms of other things to calm you, I've heard splashing very cold water on your face can do something with the vagus nerve to calm you down. Or if you have a fan, blow some cool air on your face. For some reason, if I'm panicking, it also helps me to stand up (sometimes walking around, but just standing). I imagine it's hot where you are, from where you've said you live, but if by some chance it's not that bad out, stepping outside could help, too.

Thanks LT.


I took some Xanax which I was trying not to do because I am at work and it will tend to make me sleepy but I was still feeling panicky. NP_Complete suggested the app Calm so I am looking into that. My internet isn't restricted at all at work, which is why I can spend hours on My Support Forums! I will try the cold water and standing up. Outside it is muggy today and since I have wear long sleeves due to my recent SH I think I will stay indoors. I don't have a fan but I have a heater. But I can go stand underneath the vent where the cooler comes out, that might be helpful.


The deep breathing helped a little and the Xanax is taking a bit of the edge off. I'm really trying to ward off these panic attacks because they are really uncomfortable and they remind me of being in the hospital. So double whammy. I have some fun music playing, the kind the gets stuck in your head on repeat but that's okay. And I'll try calling my Dad again in a little bit. He should be home he has a repair man coming sometime between 1 and 4 but he probably forgot to turn his phone on after physical therapy. Sometimes my Dad can calm me down. I'm also doing the self hug where you put the right hand on top of your left shoulder and put your left hand under your right armpit. It's not as good as a real hug but it is something.


Thanks for the additional thoughts LT. HUGS Kit

-I have one soft blanket.
-Chocolate
-I drink milk
-journalling
-No overhead lights. Side lamp only.
-Scented candles.
-Roo panes

He has such a soothing voice.

Roo Panes – Childhood (Official Video) - YouTube

To be honest though when I'm really unstable I know I need someone else to help me regulate- I usually call my brother.

Paul explaining the Havening Technique in less than 3 mins:

Havening Technique To Calm Fear & Anxiety - By Paul McKenna - YouTube

If you have more time:

Facilitated Self-Havening Dr Robin Youngson - YouTube

There's also a few EFT tapping videos for panic attacks. Brad Yates has a nice channel.

- bubblewrap! (or, I work in a store and we have these small plastic bags that if you scruch up the right way you can get as many as 4-5 nice pops out of ... co-workers got used to it after a wile)

- also, making silly noises that resonate in different parts of the body (only good alone or in trusted company, obviously ... or when distressed enough not to give a **** what anyone thinks) ETA often the process of trying to find the right sort of sound is in itself calming

- tearing up paper into long stripes - I learnt this from my dog; also gets you a nice comforting pile of paper

- if there's anything specific that can be put into a comfortable length of words, making anagrams of it

I'm afraid I don't have much that's non-embarrassing at work. Breathing excercises.

Slightly counter-intuitive stuff, because soothing/relaxing music tends to have the opposite effect on me - music that's just the right sort of unsettled. Two of my favourites: J.S. Bach: St John Passion, BWV 245 - Bach Collegium Japan, Masaaki Suzuki (HD 1080p) - YouTube and Philip Glass - Naqoyqatsi - 01. Naqoyqatsi - YouTube These are also things I sometimes use to fall asleep to

A soft blanket rubbed on my cheek. Holding my own hand and pretending/remembering holding Ts hand. (I have fallen asleep like this for years now). Stimming (lots of ways).... Tapping is just recently becoming known about, Autistic people have been doing it for years to self sooth/self regulate, but it can help most people I think.

I hope you can find some ways to sooth yourself.

*Taking a hot shower/bath
* Drinking hot liquids
* Cuddling with a blanket
* Playing with pets
* Rocking myself
* Sucking on candy
* Sitting in a breeze
* Candles/Incense
* Sleep
* Deep breathing
* Grounding techniques: identifying with the 5 senses
* Eating good food

I learned a technique from a Peter Levine webinar that I find really helpful.

1. Take a normal breath, hold it for 2.
2. On the exhale, make the sound 'Voo' for as long as you are breathing out.

Wait for your body to inhale, and then you can repeat if needed.

This works directly on the vagus nerve, which runs through the entire body, as I understand it.

Going for a walk is often helpful when I'm feeling anxious. I also find it helps to do simple, useful stuff, things that keep me occupied with what I'm doing and leave me feeling like I've accomplished something. Cleaning, cooking, stuff like that.

When I'm at work and I feel panicked or stressed I have a game on my phone called 1010. I keep it on mute, there's no beating the clock or going up levels or anything stimulating at all. You move different color shapes into rows of 10 and they disappear. It's very satisfying and it takes a bit of concentration so it really distracts me and helps me settle.

I also go splash cold water on my wrists and neck and try to slow down my breathing. This is difficult because we don't have a single toilet bathroom, so sometimes I get company, but it can also be distracting to make awkward small talk in the bathroom.

And I go outside to vape. I don't recommend that you start a nicotine habit! Going outside and really feeling the ground under my feet, feeling the wind in my hair or the sun on my face, and just breathing and trying to stay present in the moment sometimes helps.

I hope you are feeling better now. Big hugs for you.

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

When it comes to work there are a couple things I try to relieve anxiety. One is a butterfly hug which is something that T suggests and utilizes herself.

Go to the restroom for a couple of moments and just breath and wash my face

Make some hot tea of coffee

Quote:

Originally Posted by nottrustin When it comes to work there are a couple things I try to relieve anxiety. One is a butterfly hug which is something that T suggests and utilizes herself. Go to the restroom foe a couple of moments and just breath and wash my face Make some hot tea of coffee

What's a butterfly hug?

butterfly hug emdr - Google Search

It seems weird at first but it does help me. I think it is because of the tapping.

I walk the dogs, watch opera on youtube or the met opera app, work out, be with friends but I don't talk about whatever is bothering me, cut the grass or get a haircut-both very immediate gratificationy for me, those sorts of things. I don't find comfort from talking about what bothers me and rarely do I find active comfort from other people.

Oh, how could I have forgotten the coloring app on my phone. Physical coloring books also good, of course, but phone is easier/more portable.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I did get through it, with the help of some medication. And I am not feeling the anxiety today, maybe just a little bit in the pit of my stomach but I don't feel like I am on the precipice of a panic attack like I did feel like on Friday.

Just wanted to add something that I didn't see anyone else mention I think: I often write down specific things I remember from therapy and my T. Like a certain thing he said that really calmed me or something I noticed one time, something we laughed about... and when I feel really down and don't have an way to reach him, I can look through those things and that helps a bit.

Glad you feel better. I’ve been reading a lot about breathing, meditation and polyvagal theory.

One of the things I’ve read and found true for me is longer exhale than inhale and only 1-2 sec breath holding is best. Sometimes if you purse your lips like you’re blowing out a candle it helps to slow and lengthen the exhale. So let’s say 3 sec inhale, hold 1, 6 sec exhale.

I also find that a simple game that requires a little concentration on my phone can be helpful.

I like to make lists. If things are really bad I’ll make a to-do list and leave big/difficult things for another time but know that I’m free to stop obsessing bc they’re written. Also I’ll include things like Get Dressed or Get A Latte and then check it off like I’ve accomplished something awesome.