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Echos Myron redux
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Default Aug 13, 2021 at 02:57 AM
  #1
I started face to face again with my therapist a couple of months ago, after being online since March 2020 (we briefly tried face to face in a different place in September 2020 but I didn't like the distance between us).
So since I've resumed seeing him in the room, I'm struggling to feel as connected as I did on zoom. I find it harder to be candid, and he seems almost like a different person (he lost weight during lockdown which hasn't helped). I want to keep going face to face as we've resumed hugs, but I miss zoom T. We had a zoom session last night because I was unhappy with our face to face session and I just felt so much closer to him than I have in ages. I wish I could see him on zoom then just hug him at the end. Anyone else struggling with the readjustment?
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Default Aug 13, 2021 at 11:24 AM
  #2
My t and I are still doing telehealth, but I wonder have found myself wondering what it will be like. When I am on Zoom (with anyone) it feels like we are all up in each other's faces. I think you've written about sessions that include sitting and looking at one another, could that feeling of being up close be part of it?

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Default Aug 13, 2021 at 11:30 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks View Post
My t and I are still doing telehealth, but I wonder have found myself wondering what it will be like. When I am on Zoom (with anyone) it feels like we are all up in each other's faces. I think you've written about sessions that include sitting and looking at one another, could that feeling of being up close be part of it?
Yes this is a really big part of it! Thanks for giving me clarity on that. Even though it isn't proper eye contact on zoom, he leans forward so he is quite close in. That must have had an impact on me that I've not been aware of consciously. I feel like I am more in touch with my young feelings on zoom.
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Default Aug 13, 2021 at 03:23 PM
  #4
I wonder if you feel safer with the physical distance - sort of a buffer between you - while in person you feel more exposed and self-conscious. I can also see how in person you might be distracted by the whole room, the whole person visually rather than just the face, perhaps.

I hate virtual meetings of all kinds - this last year and a half has been awful because I just detest the unnaturalness of the computer. I'm the type to turn off my mic and camera and just be a faceless, silent person in a zoom meeting. I would have been an awful client if I'd had to do therapy that way.

It's interesting how some people really like the virtual meetings and others just hate them.
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Default Aug 13, 2021 at 03:31 PM
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I wonder if you feel safer with the physical distance - sort of a buffer between you - while in person you feel more exposed and self-conscious. I can also see how in person you might be distracted by the whole room, the whole person visually rather than just the face, perhaps.

I hate virtual meetings of all kinds - this last year and a half has been awful because I just detest the unnaturalness of the computer. I'm the type to turn off my mic and camera and just be a faceless, silent person in a zoom meeting. I would have been an awful client if I'd had to do therapy that way.

It's interesting how some people really like the virtual meetings and others just hate them.
I did in person for 5 years before covid, and I did feel safe. In fact it took me several months to adjust to zoom. That's part of the reason it's been such a surprise to me that I'm struggling to adjust with going back.
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Default Aug 13, 2021 at 05:36 PM
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I HATED my first session back in person, and was not expecting that. I felt so exposed and vulnerable and awkward. It was hard for her to see me again. We did phone only sessions over the pandemic, so that part may be a little different for you. It took a few sessions to feel more normal, and now we are back to virtual. Sigh.
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Default Aug 14, 2021 at 07:18 AM
  #7
I think the loss of feeling connected is pretty common. I experienced it for quite a while on the beginning of virtual sessions. My therapist and I had to spend time finding ways to feel comnected. It is still something I struggle with.

I suspect when we get to return to face to face appointments we will have to figure out how to reconnect that way.

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Default Aug 19, 2021 at 01:55 PM
  #8
I was ecstatic to be back in person. The thing is, though...we still have to social distance in her office and we still have to wear masks. So sessions still feel a little bit fake to me.

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Default Aug 19, 2021 at 03:13 PM
  #9
I'm going back to zoom next week because I can't hack it. It's completely overwhelming for me. He is going away for two weeks at the start of September. I can't see him face to face any more before he goes.
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Default Aug 19, 2021 at 03:45 PM
  #10
I love in person sessions. Tele health really wrecked my mental health. Plus all the false promises of “we’ll be back at this date” and then that not happening. I finally had to tell her not to mention in person sessions until she actually knew for sure. Which she never did.

But I’ve been back to in person since May 18th and it’s been great for me. I had my mask on until 2 weeks after I got the second dose of the vaccine. But I’ve kept my mask off every session since. I did start wearing it in the waiting room though.

I’m worried I’m going to go back to telehealth.

My old therapist had told me that she thought our virtual appointments were a lot more deeper then in person ones. I kinda agree but I’m not sure why they were deeper. I did spill my guts about quite a few things I wouldn’t dare talk about it in person to her. But I’ve been ok talking with my current therapist about most of these things.

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Default Aug 20, 2021 at 04:23 AM
  #11
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Originally Posted by Echos Myron redux View Post
I'm going back to zoom next week because I can't hack it. It's completely overwhelming for me. He is going away for two weeks at the start of September. I can't see him face to face any more before he goes.
Echos, I feel you!
Just wondering whether he or both of you are masked in f2f sessions? If so, that might be a contributing factor.
I was able to have in person sessions for most of the pandemic, but both of us were wearing masks, and not being able to see her full face really did a number on me, in many different ways..
Sending you hugs, cr
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Default Aug 20, 2021 at 11:55 AM
  #12
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Echos, I feel you!
Just wondering whether he or both of you are masked in f2f sessions? If so, that might be a contributing factor.
I was able to have in person sessions for most of the pandemic, but both of us were wearing masks, and not being able to see her full face really did a number on me, in many different ways..
Sending you hugs, cr
No, we briefly tried masks and distance in September 2020 and i HATED it, so we said we would only go back to in person when we both felt okay about doing things as we were before, including hugs. We each take a rapid test in the morning we see each other and we do things exactly as before (we're also both double vaccinated).

So it's not about things being different to pre covid, it's that I'm overwhelmed by in person now period. I can't explain it, it's like I feel more distant from him when I am in the room than I do when he is miles away and I'm looking at him on a screen. I don't get it and I don't like it.
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Default Aug 20, 2021 at 03:12 PM
  #13
I'm going back to face to face in a couple of weeks. Both really looking forward and feeling anxious about it. I think I am nervous about being inside her house again, like not really feeling welcome anymore, and I am also wondering what the perspective/distance will feel like in the room.
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