FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,833
5 |
#1
I do cold water swimming. I love it. It helps me trust and know my body, I enjoy the contact with nature, the peace and solitude help me counter my aggravations. My therapist also cold water swims, something which she told me after I had spoken about my sea adventures.
She has asked me if I want to go swimming with her. It wouldn't be social contact, my session would take place in the sea. Like pirates. This would mean changing together on the beach before and after the swim. She checked if I would be ok with that. I said I wasn't sure about swimming with her and that it would be an exceedingly strange thing to do, not least because I always swim alone. This is weird, isn't it? I am weird and she is weird so my weird-o-meter doesn't always display an accurate reading, but this seems weird. I can't imagine a therapy session with her whilst she wears a swim suit, much less imagine her seeing me pulling on my soggy bra and sandy knickers! I don't believe she has any sexual interest in me or intended any sexual connotation, but it seems intimate to me. Part of me would love to share the beautiful cold sea experience with her, part of me feels special that she asked. A bigger part of me thinks she's a lunatic. Would you entertain the idea? Have you ever been offered and accepted something strange from your therapist? |
Reply With Quote |
Favorite Jeans, Taylor27, unaluna
|
Bill3, chihirochild, LonesomeTonight, RoxanneToto
|
Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
9 12.4k hugs
given |
#2
Well, Info once offered to take me to the mall for a makeover, which I think pretty much everybody here thought was weird. I said no because I was so uncomfortable with the idea. No regrets.
I swim too and I absolutely would hate a therapy session interrupting that, which is sacred time to me. How would that work anyway? You’re going to talk while bobbing up and down in the North Sea? I try not to remember this but I did once run into my then therapist while she was naked in a gym locker room. She waved at me. It was something. |
Reply With Quote |
unaluna
|
*Beth*, chihirochild, Favorite Jeans, LonesomeTonight, Quietmind 2, RoxanneToto, zoiecat
|
Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,361
7 4,865 hugs
given |
#3
I am also weird, but have never had a therapist weird in the same way that I am.
My very first T recommended I go to a particular yoga class in our small town, and said, “that would mean there would be a chance of running into me there.” She seemed ok with it, but I wasn’t, so I never went to that class. Wrote a post about it at the time if that is of interest: Would you go to a yoga class that your T regularly attends? |
Reply With Quote |
unaluna
|
comrademoomoo, LonesomeTonight, Quietmind 2
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,833
5 |
#4
Quote:
I didn't know you swam! Or I had forgotten. No make over (understandably so), but would you swim with Info? |
|
Reply With Quote |
Quietmind 2
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,833
5 |
#5
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Quietmind 2
|
Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
9 12.4k hugs
given |
#6
|
Reply With Quote |
Quietmind 2
|
Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,588
(SuperPoster!)
4 6,000 hugs
given |
#7
I have joked about having a session with L in her pool (not that I've seen it, but she's said before that she has one), but I wouldn't want to actually do so either, also because of the sacredness of the 'me' time. I don't think it's necessarily weird or anything. I would love to do a session while hiking out in the desert with her, though. I think that would be lovely and I even know exactly where I would want to go.
|
Reply With Quote |
Quietmind 2, unaluna
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,833
5 |
#8
Yes, I consider my swims as special times too which, as I say, are always solitary experiences. I think I am wondering (romanticising?) what it would be like to share that specialness with her. There is something appealing about the idea for me. And it seems too much and too intense.
|
Reply With Quote |
Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Appalachian Mountains
Posts: 2,040
8 15 hugs
given |
#9
It is odd, in that I don't see swimming as a social activity in the same way that golf or tennis or other sports are. And I would be wary of a T wanting to dissect the experience with me, as in "What sensations are you feeling in your body right this second?" and that would annoy me. It takes me away from the experience!
Maybe your T wouldn't do this, in which case I might consider the idea. I'm female, if it matters, and if no changing area were available I would absolutely have my suit on under my clothes and I would put my clothes on over my wet suit afterwards and drive home that way. (Or drive to the nearest gas station and change there.) But that's just me.... I'm American, too, and we're more prudish than other parts of the world... which is also weird, given other aspects of our culture, but there it stands. Sent from my SM-G981U using Tapatalk __________________ "I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned." --Richard Feynman |
Reply With Quote |
*Beth*, comrademoomoo, LonesomeTonight, unaluna, zoiecat
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,833
5 |
#10
Quote:
Can you describe what you would like about hiking with L? |
|
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight, Quietmind 2, RoxanneToto
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,833
5 |
#11
Quote:
Yes, I have been thinking whether I could organise the changing arrangements so that we don't change together. I will think more about that, thank you. |
|
Reply With Quote |
Favorite Jeans, RoxanneToto, WarmFuzzySocks
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
6 117.7k hugs
given |
#12
It's not something I would do, personally. But I'm not a particularly strong swimmer. I might take a walk with T or sit outside with T (did that once when former T forgot her keys and we had to wait for her associate to get there). But I think it would disrupt the eye contact and some of that other important stuff. It is an interesting idea though.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Reply With Quote |
Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,922
(SuperPoster!)
13 68.8k hugs
given |
#13
I used to swim with a good friend, or rather hang out in my apartment pool with her. Even though i usually swim by myself, i was in my element and it was fine having her there. I joined her once in her club pool for a water aerobics class, and i also felt in my element there.
That feeling of "being in my element" was kinda new to me in this situation, and was only brought out by there being another point of reference (her). I was like, "i DO this, i SWIM. I am WITH the water." So i might do it to see what new feelings i might experience, what new parts it might draw out of me. OTOH, i have a hard time attending classical music concerts in person. With a friend is even worse. With a guest violinist bobbing and weaving front and center i want my money back! I have to close my eyes to be able to hear the music. Eta - there is a block between me and the friend. So take that. |
Reply With Quote |
atisketatasket
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,171
6 1,836 hugs
given |
#14
I would feel cautious and I'd also want to know their supervisor was in the loop and that they are both aware of the potential pitfalls of moving away from the boundaries of traditional therapy. I would also want to be having a discussion about what could be stirred or go wrong with the therapist too, and have a plan for if things felt weird or unsteady. I don't think it is inherently a bad idea but needs a lot of careful thought all round, and it needs to feel right for you.
|
Reply With Quote |
Favorite Jeans, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, RoxanneToto, WarmFuzzySocks
|
catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
5 23.7k hugs
given |
#15
I am uncomfortable at the thought of holding a therapy session outside the office, regardless of where. My concern would be that my T and I would become more like friends than therapist-client. If that happened, I would feel very odd about sharing deeper and more genuine subjects with her...I would feel like the relationship was equal, rather than professional.
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, RoxanneToto
|
Member
Member Since Aug 2019
Location: Hungary
Posts: 142
5 65 hugs
given |
#16
It's kind of weird, but I'm not good at telling apart the harmless sort of weird from creepy or irresponsible or otherwise harmful.
I'd be tempted I think - in all the activites that I normally do alone, that's mainly because I don't know how not to be alone, and someone else being there is likely to distract and pull me out of the experience. On the other hand, there are those moments of breathtaking beauty when I wish I could share it with someone. On the third hand, again, I don't really know how to. And so on for as many hands I can conjure. But I also wouldn't do it without lots of talking through it in advance, so that I can make up my mind about how I feel, and make reasonably sure it's not something I'll end up regretting. The thing is, I'd like my therapy relationship to be that intimate, but I'd have a very hard time believing that it actually is. And I don't mean the changing together sort of intimate, although that's also at least a little weird, but the sharing profound emotional experiences sort of intimate. ETA: very different sort of experience, but in self-defense classes I often wished xT could be there. I think kicking and tugging out our differences in such an intense, physical way would have made for safer sessions. But then she's xT for a reason. |
Reply With Quote |
RoxanneToto, unaluna
|
LonesomeTonight, RoxanneToto, unaluna
|
Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
9 12.4k hugs
given |
#17
I would totally do some kind of physical conflict class with Info. Although I would be afraid of breaking her.
|
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
|
Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,922
(SuperPoster!)
13 68.8k hugs
given |
#18
Corbie - your "4 hands" is exactly how i feel, thanks.
|
Reply With Quote |
catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
5 23.7k hugs
given |
#19
What is your final decision, com?
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: England
Posts: 1,692
4 6,991 hugs
given |
#20
I don’t think I’d really want to do anything outside with my T - my solitary hobbies are mundane, compared to cold water swimming, but they’re still more or less ‘just’ for me. I don’t feel like I’d know how to share that time with others. I think if the idea/suggestion of doing something with a certain person produces a viscerally uncomfortable feeling in you, that’s a good indicator that it may be crossing a line.
|
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|