Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVII

Glittering · Sep 26, 2021 at 08:09 AM

I reeeeeaaally want to send you a photo of our new kitten!!!! I wonder what you’d say if I did? Would it be ok????

Mountaindewed · Sep 26, 2021 at 11:17 AM

Ex T I am still taking the advice you have given me that I’ve found useful. I don’t even know anymore what I’m feeling regarding you. I’m not angry or hurt. I feel like this is more of an annoyance combined with some relief. I’m still my bubbly self with my mom. So I’m obviously not distraught over you. I think I’m just so caught up in other things that are going on that I can’t even focus on you.

RoxanneToto · Sep 26, 2021 at 01:10 PM

I feel like I need to talk, but don’t want to bug you on a Sunday. It can wait.

LonesomeTonight · Sep 26, 2021 at 06:40 PM

Dear T,
So I was struggling with stuff from Friday and really wanted to email you about it, but managed not to. I told myself "OK, just get through to session 10:30 tomorrow." So then when you texted tonight to ask about changing the session time, part of me wanted to just be like, "No, you gave me 10:30, I want that." But instead, because you preferred I switch to 12:30, I acquiesced. I know 2 hours is nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it feels like a lot right now. And I'm giving you that because it's easier for you, probably about another client wanting that time. Because I don't have any real reason (like work, other obligations) to NEED 10:30. But it still bothers me a bit.

You'd better be good and understanding and empathic and caring and stuff tomorrow....In part because I didn't bother you over the weekend (despite really wanting to email) and agreeing to switching the time.

Love,
LT

velcro003 · Sep 26, 2021 at 09:14 PM

Hey T. Thanks for telling me I am not a bother. It still sucks I couldn't see you this week, though.

velcro003 · Sep 26, 2021 at 09:16 PM

Also, E, thanks for letting me know I can email you between session if I am having a hard time. I am not sure I'll use it, it is too early in our relationship to tell. But, I appreciate it anyway.

ArtieTheSequal · Sep 27, 2021 at 06:56 AM

Hey L, so I drummed last night for a little bit to practice what I learned last weekend. I happened to notice the clock just before i started so I know it was for about 8 minutes, and that worked pretty well. I got a message that I'll have to do some thinking/writing about, not exactly sure what it relates to yet (could be 2 different things, possibly both!). I'm going to have a lot to talk about by 10/15, aren't I?

Waterbear · Sep 27, 2021 at 07:25 AM

Dear Temp T, see you tomorrow. I hope you are ok with me talking this through with you. I will try and avoid the sofa/couch analogy, but it seems to apt. See, I am about to say I want to return this trial sofa to the store and grab another one, to see if it fits better, is more comfortable, but if it isn't I will call the store and ask if I can have the other one back again!! See you tomorrow!

MuddyBoots · Sep 27, 2021 at 10:04 AM

"Help" is just as stressful as dealing with the symptoms alone.

Mountaindewed · Sep 27, 2021 at 01:29 PM

Transference T: I knew you weren’t going to work with me again. But I figured I’d just have my mom email you. I don’t know why I wanted her to since I don’t want to do telehealth anyways. You sent a gentle response back and said your case load is over filling and you are are also not comfortable working with me again because we weren’t making progress because of the eating disorder thing that you are not comfortable working with. But I’m glad you remember me and our relationship.

I did hopefully find a new therapist today who can meet all 3 of my needs. Trans. Autism. And ED’s. So I’m hoping this will work out.

And there is no way I’m allowing my last T to communicate with this new one. I spilled my guts to her about a whole lot of stuff I don’t want anyone else knowing unless I’m the one telling them. In general allowing a therapist to talk to your new one is not really a good choice.

SlumberKitty · Sep 27, 2021 at 01:47 PM

Don't hate me because I keep emailing you today. Thanks! Kit

Rive. · Sep 27, 2021 at 02:22 PM

NO, you don't.

junkDNA · Sep 27, 2021 at 03:55 PM

I have some wacky dreams about u

LonesomeTonight · Sep 27, 2021 at 04:37 PM

Dear T,
Thanks for being understanding today. I especially appreciate your understanding about how my seeing you sick a few weeks ago made me realize your vulnerability. Your explanation of people realizing things aren't permanent helped. And your saying how it wasn't ridiculous.

Also, it occurred to me that maybe you're thinking of "infraction" more with its usage in sports. Like a neutral zone infraction in football isn't really that big of a deal compared to other penalties. So it sounded harsh to me, but may have been more like no big deal to you. I sort of wanted to email you that, then thought I'd just tell you Wednesday.

And now I want tapenade...
Love,
LT

LostOnTheTrail · Sep 28, 2021 at 05:27 AM

Trying to function
Ignoring the elephant
Grief is very loud.

ArtieTheSequal · Sep 28, 2021 at 11:26 AM

Don't worry I'm not going to call you today (like I did on the Tuesday following our previous session) haha! I'm still slowly working through this book, like I told you reading, reflecting, taking notes, absorbing. I am just NOW getting to the part of how to start actually DOING it! It's still very exciting to me, this new orientation/perspective/whatever you call it. I completely and totally just love it how the universe knew I was ready for this book so boom here it is. Had I stumbled upon it before now I would probably not have even noticed it, huh. Do you know something else? I don't even care if you end up thinking it is dorky that I want to commemorate our 10 year thera-versary in November. It's important to me, and that's all that matters.

LostOnTheTrail · Sep 28, 2021 at 11:55 AM

Two more sleeps. I'm grateful, I'm looking forward to it, and dreading it at the same time.
I'm really struggling to make myself emotionally safe enough to have the conversations we need to have.

SlumberKitty · Sep 28, 2021 at 04:39 PM

Dear T: I feel like you have abandoned me. I know you haven't, but it feels that way. How will I feel when IOP ends and I don't see you anymore? It probably won't feel great. But you said don't worry about the future. One day at a time. Well today I feel abandoned by you! Kit

Waterbear · Sep 28, 2021 at 05:23 PM

Dear Temp T,

Thank you for understanding my want to try out this new T, and for saying I could always come back if it doesnt work, or if she ever takes an extended break for holidays etc.

And thank you for helping me to come up with that picture of where I was Vs where I am today, and how the hole has developed in this new piece of ground.

That really clicked with me today, and helps to explain why I could almost forget it was there sometimes too, if it wasn't for the knowing, the fear of falling in, the missing that part of me.

In a way I'm kind of sorry you don't get to venture there with me, but I just feel I have to try this out. Sadly your space just isn't right for me, and I'm not sure you are the ideal fit either, but you have helped me through a really tricky patch and I am grateful for that. So, thank you.

Mountaindewed · Sep 28, 2021 at 05:51 PM

I’m hoping 3rd times the charm the way it was last time. In 2018 the first 2 weren’t good. Then the 3rd one, my transference T was good. Now I’ve been through 2 T’s since I moved so I’m hoping this 3rd one will work out. I can’t be telling you any goofy stuff or oversharing stuff about my meds.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVII

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Glittering Member Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 119 6 73 hugs given	Sep 26, 2021 at 08:09 AM #421 I reeeeeaaally want to send you a photo of our new kitten!!!! I wonder what you’d say if I did? Would it be ok????
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RoxanneToto Grand Poohbah Member Since Aug 2020 Location: England Posts: 1,692 3 6,991 hugs given	Sep 26, 2021 at 01:10 PM #423 I feel like I need to talk, but don’t want to bug you on a Sunday. It can wait.
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velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Sep 26, 2021 at 09:14 PM #425 Hey T. Thanks for telling me I am not a bother. It still sucks I couldn't see you this week, though.
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velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Sep 26, 2021 at 09:16 PM #426 Also, E, thanks for letting me know I can email you between session if I am having a hard time. I am not sure I'll use it, it is too early in our relationship to tell. But, I appreciate it anyway.
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MuddyBoots Monster on the Hill Member Since Sep 2020 Location: by the river Posts: 4,094 (SuperPoster!) 3 4,819 hugs given	Sep 27, 2021 at 10:04 AM #429 "Help" is just as stressful as dealing with the symptoms alone. __________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again
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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Sep 27, 2021 at 01:47 PM #431 Don't hate me because I keep emailing you today. Thanks! Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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Rive. Magnate Member Since Sep 2013 Posts: 2,011 10	Sep 27, 2021 at 02:22 PM #432 NO, you don't.
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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Sep 27, 2021 at 03:55 PM #433 I have some wacky dreams about u __________________
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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Sep 28, 2021 at 04:39 PM #438 Dear T: I feel like you have abandoned me. I know you haven't, but it feels that way. How will I feel when IOP ends and I don't see you anymore? It probably won't feel great. But you said don't worry about the future. One day at a time. Well today I feel abandoned by you! Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,125 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,744 hugs given	Sep 28, 2021 at 05:51 PM #440 I’m hoping 3rd times the charm the way it was last time. In 2018 the first 2 weren’t good. Then the 3rd one, my transference T was good. Now I’ve been through 2 T’s since I moved so I’m hoping this 3rd one will work out. I can’t be telling you any goofy stuff or oversharing stuff about my meds. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
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