Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVII

Lemoncake · Aug 12, 2021 at 07:45 AM

R,

I'm really struggling right now. Would it be terrible if I were to email you?

--
Possible new T,

Please reply back already. I really don't feel so good.

SlumberKitty · Aug 12, 2021 at 11:54 AM

Dear T: Four weeks til I see you. Wonder if I should stay with you or get a new T? Four weeks sort of feels like why bother? Kit

RoxanneToto · Aug 12, 2021 at 12:15 PM

Thank you for not mentioning that big news story, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t actually intentional but I know you care how I feel anyway. Had a great session today, especially when your cat sauntered past and you said she only likes being around certain people lol.

Mountaindewed · Aug 12, 2021 at 12:23 PM

I’m sorry about yesterday and I hope you won’t be too mad when I see you a week from Monday. The main reason the incident happened is the exact reason you are switching me to another therapist in September.

Lemoncake · Aug 12, 2021 at 12:31 PM

Think I'm just done with my trying. I don't believe anyone can help me.

I feel too much. Say the wrong stuff.

I feel like my heart is breaking.

Spent most of today crying.

ArtieTheSequal · Aug 12, 2021 at 12:31 PM

Ha ha yeah, that's part of the reason I verified - because Friday is the 13th!

LonesomeTonight · Aug 12, 2021 at 01:03 PM

Dear T,
Like I said, I made it 24 hours--that's something, right? I really hope you say something this evening. I debated texting you, and if it was just about meeting in person vs. Zoom tomorrow, I'd have done that. But with the other question, it felt like too much for text. Please don't take my Arby's joke to mean I'm not all that stressed about this--you should know by now that humor is a defense mechanism for me (and I think it is for you, as well). I didn't include this in the email, but some of this is my really stressing about what will happen the first few months of this school year with Covid, and I want you in my corner to support me.

Love,
LT

Lostislost · Aug 12, 2021 at 03:16 PM

Could you give me a sign that I am not alone please? I'll take anything. Thank you.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 12, 2021 at 04:15 PM

Dear T,
Thanks so much for responding so quickly. Of course I would have liked more reassurance on the one thing, but it's the language I've come to expect from you, so it's OK. And I appreciate your acknowledging my delaying emailing you. Of course I'm sad that tomorrow will probably be the last in-person day for a while, but I completely understand. It really helped that you said you were discouraged about this as well. That I'm not alone in the disappointment.
Love,
LT

Echos Myron redux · Aug 12, 2021 at 04:16 PM

That was better, wasn't it. I felt you were alongside me tonight. You knew when I was distressed you and you knew just what to say. That was a lot better.

Mountaindewed · Aug 12, 2021 at 07:30 PM

Can I just explain to you what happened yesterday? I was restricting food for several days. The stuff I was eating had no nutritional value. It was badly impacting my moods and anxiety. When I got the call about the interview I just lost it and I had a meltdown and then I sent you 3 crisis emails. Then you called my mom. Then you emailed me and said crisis emails are not an appropriate way to handle things. But once I ate a legit dinner I felt a lot better. Then this afternoon I felt bad until I ate something with protein in it that I am seriously lacking in my diet. I actually forgot about the interview. I’m not sure if I’m pushing it out of my mind or if I’ve just made peace with it and accepted it.

I just want to tell you why it happened. Maybe I’ll email you the day of our next session so we can discuss it in the session.

velcro003 · Aug 12, 2021 at 09:11 PM

Hey E--I am glad that so far, I still will see you in person next week for our first session. I think art therapy would be very difficult over the computer.

atisketatasket · Aug 12, 2021 at 10:55 PM

I feel like the only relationship I can make work is with animals. So it sucks they can get along without me.

LostOnTheTrail · Aug 13, 2021 at 02:43 AM

Six more sleeps, I think.
I'm looking forward to next session, but not looking forward to the conversation we will have to have under less than ideal circumstances.

Waterbear · Aug 13, 2021 at 03:12 AM

Another one bites the dust? Really not sure she is right for me, bless her, she clearly was trying...
We have another session next week, but I'm not feeling it. Strange, given that before the session I was quite keen, but I think it was the nail polish, the scraggly hair, the sparkling water and the cleavage that were the 'no-nos' for me. Am I too fussy? Am I?

Echos Myron redux · Aug 13, 2021 at 02:34 PM

I miss you. I am glad we had the extra session yesterday.

ArtieTheSequal · Aug 13, 2021 at 06:46 PM

Thanks for today, L. You are absolutely right by the way, the block is gone. And I hope it never comes back. I didn't even know that's what it was - but that makes so much sense. I can physically feel that it's gone. I appreciate you and your role in my life more than I know how to express.

p.s. I will hold you to that, what you said as I was about to get in my car.

p.p.s. see you in 2 weeks.

velcro003 · Aug 13, 2021 at 08:39 PM

Aww T, I hope you feel better and hope you don't have the rona.

daisydid · Aug 13, 2021 at 11:21 PM

This week has been pure garbage, L. I totally respect why you said what you said, but I just feel like the world is now falling apart piece by piece. I just can’t stop crying. I appreciate you calling me while you were (I assume) driving to your vacation home. The universe knows how much I hate out of session contact. The fact that you gave me a good little pep talk and assured me I could reach out again if things changed was just what I needed tonight.

After we got off the phone, I was standing on our balcony and watched as the wind whipped the trees around. It was beginning to storm. Like things are storming now.

The worst part about this is I have to go this mostly alone. I don’t want to talk to anyone about what’s going on, which is something I’m going to do some reflective writing on. And the one person who intimately knows what’s going on is engaging in the unhealthy dynamic with me. I don’t know that I’m strong enough to weather this storm, L. I’m trying though.

ArtieTheSequal · Aug 14, 2021 at 12:11 AM

Hey one other thing about today... in the past I would have felt hurt and gotten angry at you when you said that stuff when we were talking about h's health. Thank you for trusting me to be able to handle the stuff you said. And you were right too btw. I talked with h and told him in pretty much the same words you suggested. And he said

Possible trigger:

"Well I don't want to die either. Of course I'm going to do what the specialist says."

that's a far cry from his attitude a couple of weeks ago where he was still saying

Possible trigger:

"I'd rather live a few years less and still eat the foods I enjoy instead of live longer eating stuff I hate."

I reassured him again that we're in this together and I'll find recipes that he will still enjoy regardless of how limited his food choices might become.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVII

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Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,698 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Aug 12, 2021 at 07:45 AM #41 R, I'm really struggling right now. Would it be terrible if I were to email you? -- Possible new T, Please reply back already. I really don't feel so good. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."
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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Aug 12, 2021 at 11:54 AM #42 Dear T: Four weeks til I see you. Wonder if I should stay with you or get a new T? Four weeks sort of feels like why bother? Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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RoxanneToto Grand Poohbah Member Since Aug 2020 Location: England Posts: 1,692 3 6,991 hugs given	Aug 12, 2021 at 12:15 PM #43 Thank you for not mentioning that big news story, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t actually intentional but I know you care how I feel anyway. Had a great session today, especially when your cat sauntered past and you said she only likes being around certain people lol.
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,197 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,765 hugs given	Aug 12, 2021 at 12:23 PM #44 I’m sorry about yesterday and I hope you won’t be too mad when I see you a week from Monday. The main reason the incident happened is the exact reason you are switching me to another therapist in September. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
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Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,698 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Aug 12, 2021 at 12:31 PM #45 Think I'm just done with my trying. I don't believe anyone can help me. I feel too much. Say the wrong stuff. I feel like my heart is breaking. Spent most of today crying. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."
	Reply With Quote

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,236 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,766 hugs given	Aug 12, 2021 at 12:31 PM #46 Ha ha yeah, that's part of the reason I verified - because Friday is the 13th!
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Lostislost Veteran Member Member Since May 2020 Location: Uk Posts: 557 3 890 hugs given	Aug 12, 2021 at 03:16 PM #48 Could you give me a sign that I am not alone please? I'll take anything. Thank you.
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Echos Myron redux Magnate Member Since Apr 2018 Location: UK Posts: 2,160 6 1,833 hugs given	Aug 12, 2021 at 04:16 PM #50 That was better, wasn't it. I felt you were alongside me tonight. You knew when I was distressed you and you knew just what to say. That was a lot better.
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velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Aug 12, 2021 at 09:11 PM #52 Hey E--I am glad that so far, I still will see you in person next week for our first session. I think art therapy would be very difficult over the computer.
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atisketatasket Child of a lesser god Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Tartarus Posts: 19,149 (SuperPoster!) 8 12.4k hugs given	Aug 12, 2021 at 10:55 PM #53 I feel like the only relationship I can make work is with animals. So it sucks they can get along without me.
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Waterbear Magnate Member Since Feb 2016 Location: England Posts: 2,408 8 1,316 hugs given	Aug 13, 2021 at 03:12 AM #55 Another one bites the dust? Really not sure she is right for me, bless her, she clearly was trying... We have another session next week, but I'm not feeling it. Strange, given that before the session I was quite keen, but I think it was the nail polish, the scraggly hair, the sparkling water and the cleavage that were the 'no-nos' for me. Am I too fussy? Am I?
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Echos Myron redux Magnate Member Since Apr 2018 Location: UK Posts: 2,160 6 1,833 hugs given	Aug 13, 2021 at 02:34 PM #56 I miss you. I am glad we had the extra session yesterday.
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velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Aug 13, 2021 at 08:39 PM #58 Aww T, I hope you feel better and hope you don't have the rona.
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