Couch 231: Live Long and Prosper!

SlumberKitty · Sep 14, 2021 at 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Kit, I wonder if you have prosopagnosia or a form of it which could cause the problems with emotions and empathy?

I wouldn't be surprised. I have a hard time recognizing people, even family members. I once went up to a man at a bookstore that I thought was my Dad and started talking to him. Only when he looked confused did I realize it wasn't my Dad and that my Dad was somewhere else in the store. I can't recognize people out of context. Like if you are from my Church and I see you at Target.....I don't recognize you. If you are from work, and I see you at the grocery store, I don't recognize you. It's not fun.

I think S. the group leader was trying to get me to see that I am empathetic by saying that I'm here or that I'm listening or by giving a hug even if I am baffled by the person's emotions, or their lack of emotions as it is sometimes. I just have such trouble recognizing of someone is upset because they are mad, or upset because they are sad, or upset because of some other reason. Like I get that they are upset....but that's about it.

So much to learn in IOP.

SlumberKitty · Sep 14, 2021 at 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Hey slumber - i was just looking up long term effects of shaming (in child raising) (for myself - that was my parents only technique, seriously - the rest of the time they were laissez-faire, but when they put their parenting hats on, almost literally, it was to shame) - anyway one of the long term effects was lack of empathy. I dont quite remember the connection, but i think it had to do with lack of connection - ie because shaming is so isolating, so it displaces connection and subsequently empathy. I am surprised shame has affected me so much. But i only ever tried to reject it, to push it away - not really deal with it. Now the chickens have come home to roost.

Exactly, Una. Shame has to do with a lack of connection. And connection is what is the anecdote to shame. So when the connection is severed by shame and connection isn't made elsewhere the shame spirals. At least that is what I got out of the IOP. I'm sorry your parents really sucked at raising you Una. HUGS Kit

comrademoomoo · Sep 14, 2021 at 02:12 PM

I am at the yurt. In some ways it is lovely, but I have this feeling that I am waiting for myself to arrive. I had a longing to be here, to unfurl, to create, and to become aware, but instead I feel absent and stuck. I wonder if my heart has died. I don't belong and I yearn for connection. Or maybe I just need to get a grip and get over myself. How do you know when you are pointlessly navel gazing? It can go on forever.

SlumberKitty · Sep 14, 2021 at 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

I am at the yurt. In some ways it is lovely, but I have this feeling that I am waiting for myself to arrive. I had a longing to be here, to unfurl, to create, and to become aware, but instead I feel absent and stuck. I wonder if my heart has died. I don't belong and I yearn for connection. Or maybe I just need to get a grip and get over myself. How do you know when you are pointlessly navel gazing? It can go on forever.

The yurt looks wonderful comrade.

Maybe don't force it. You'll get there and be able to do the things you want to do. But if you stuck right now don't force trying to be there and be creative and be aware. And you did connect with us here on the couch. That's a connection. HUGS Kit

comrademoomoo · Sep 14, 2021 at 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

The yurt looks wonderful comrade.

Maybe don't force it. You'll get there and be able to do the things you want to do. But if you stuck right now don't force trying to be there and be creative and be aware. And you did connect with us here on the couch. That's a connection. HUGS Kit

Thank you, Kit, this was nice to read. I feel pressure to get it right whilst I am here, to be aware, to use the time well. It is only serving to paralyse me. And you are right about me connecting here with you bunch of retrobates. I easily overlook the ways in which I can connect, but I would do well to hold them in mind, no matter how strange and small they are. I hope you know for yourself that you connect here with us too.

comrademoomoo · Sep 14, 2021 at 02:42 PM

And as if by magic, the woman who owns the land where the yurt is built has just delivered some homemade apple crumble, made from the apples on their trees! Maybe I have finally found my mother after all!!

SlumberKitty · Sep 14, 2021 at 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

And as if by magic, the woman who owns the land where the yurt is built has just delivered some homemade apple crumble, made from the apples on their trees! Maybe I have finally found my mother after all!!

That IS magical! And delightful! And it looks yummy! Enjoy comrade!

stopdog · Sep 14, 2021 at 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Now the chickens have come home to roost.

I have always wanted to keep chickens but I am afraid the dogs and cats might not see them as our friends but as snacks

LonesomeTonight · Sep 14, 2021 at 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

And as if by magic, the woman who owns the land where the yurt is built has just delivered some homemade apple crumble, made from the apples on their trees! Maybe I have finally found my mother after all!!

That sounds really nice! And the yurt looks lovely and peaceful. Maybe the apple crisp will help get you in the mindset you want to be in. But I agree with Kit that you shouldn't force it or feel like you have to do anything in particular.

SlumberKitty · Sep 14, 2021 at 04:04 PM

I have an appointment with the IOP pdoc in about an hour. I hope he doesn't try to change my medications or anything. I hope it's just a "we want to make sure you are seen by a provider" type of thing. I hope he's not one of these "let's change everything you are on" sorts of people (although I have prescriptions for three months from my other doctor so I suppose I could just not take his advice.) I think it's a him. We'll find out. I'm weirdly nervous.

LonesomeTonight · Sep 14, 2021 at 04:13 PM

I hope it goes well, Kit. If he/she tries to change things and you aren't comfortable with it, you can always decline. I've done that with my p-doc before. I'd just see what they say though.

SlumberKitty · Sep 14, 2021 at 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I hope it goes well, Kit. If he/she tries to change things and you aren't comfortable with it, you can always decline. I've done that with my p-doc before. I'd just see what they say though.

I'm not good at being assertive but we'll see how this goes. My case manager R says that it usually just takes 15 to 20 minutes so I don't think he/she is going to do an assessment or anything. I think it's more of a make sure you have a pdoc type thing.

comrademoomoo · Sep 14, 2021 at 04:26 PM

And the shame we feel in childhood is often someone else's shame which is unloaded onto us and we carry the weight of it into adulthood.

comrademoomoo · Sep 14, 2021 at 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Hey slumber - i was just looking up long term effects of shaming (in child raising) (for myself - that was my parents only technique, seriously - the rest of the time they were laissez-faire, but when they put their parenting hats on, almost literally, it was to shame) - anyway one of the long term effects was lack of empathy. I dont quite remember the connection, but i think it had to do with lack of connection - ie because shaming is so isolating, so it displaces connection and subsequently empathy. I am surprised shame has affected me so much. But i only ever tried to reject it, to push it away - not really deal with it. Now the chickens have come home to roost.

Previously, I have found it very hard to identify the feeling of shame because it has been ubiquitous for me. Now I can identify it, it feels like my only feeling.

SlumberKitty · Sep 14, 2021 at 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

Previously, I have found it very hard to identify the feeling of shame because it has been ubiquitous for me. Now I can identify it, it feels like my only feeling.

SlumberKitty · Sep 14, 2021 at 04:35 PM

comrade, you improved my vocabulary today. I had to look up ubiquitous.

SlumberKitty · Sep 14, 2021 at 04:46 PM

I tried looking up the Pdoc on Google. But no luck. I'll just have to wait another 20 minutes or so to find out more about him/her.

unaluna · Sep 14, 2021 at 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Kit, I wonder if you have prosopagnosia or a form of it which could cause the problems with emotions and empathy?

Your question is shorter than kits answer, but yeah! I recently (well, before covid) didnt recognize an apartment neighbor young woman who i looooove when i saw her at the grocery store. But this happened all my adult life. Most often with women i like / admire and work adjacent to, but then see "out of context".

unaluna · Sep 14, 2021 at 04:59 PM

They should make a commercial: "Applecrisp - its whats for dinner." I used to make it for my mom when i lived with her. It was pretty horrible - my low fat no sugar cooking! But i do love when other people make it.

comrademoomoo · Sep 14, 2021 at 05:03 PM

Why are the Americans amongst us saying "applecrisp"? Is that what you (mistakenly, of course) call apple crumble?

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Couch 231: Live Long and Prosper!

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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,727 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Sep 14, 2021 at 04:13 PM #851 I hope it goes well, Kit. If he/she tries to change things and you aren't comfortable with it, you can always decline. I've done that with my p-doc before. I'd just see what they say though.

comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,710 5	Sep 14, 2021 at 04:26 PM #853 And the shame we feel in childhood is often someone else's shame which is unloaded onto us and we carry the weight of it into adulthood.

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Sep 14, 2021 at 04:35 PM #856 comrade, you improved my vocabulary today. I had to look up ubiquitous. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Sep 14, 2021 at 04:46 PM #857 I tried looking up the Pdoc on Google. But no luck. I'll just have to wait another 20 minutes or so to find out more about him/her. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,829 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.3k hugs given	Sep 14, 2021 at 04:59 PM #859 They should make a commercial: "Applecrisp - its whats for dinner." I used to make it for my mom when i lived with her. It was pretty horrible - my low fat no sugar cooking! But i do love when other people make it.

comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,710 5	Sep 14, 2021 at 05:03 PM #860 Why are the Americans amongst us saying "applecrisp"? Is that what you (mistakenly, of course) call apple crumble?