Couch 231: Live Long and Prosper!

I've used a citation generator.

THIS! If you can find a good one. They seem to come in and out.

I have to go to court today with my sister to babysit my nieces. Her ex just found out about her DUI and is seeking full custody. We're not too worried though because CPS closed their case, and she hasn't been found guilty in her DUO case. The ex has a DUI case pending against him too, so that's a wash.

I hope everything goes OK in court, Scarlet.

@@ so happy about you and the dog!

Here is a picture of the Lego James Bond car I am working on. It will probably come out sideways or upside down because I don't know how to attach pictures correctly. It's been really fun doing it. I'd say it's about halfway done.

Yup the picture is wonky. Hopefully ya'll get the idea.

UGH. After dealing with some hallucinations, I relapsed last night. I told my case manager R who is pretty stern about it but thanked me for my honesty. If I SH again I have to sign some sort of re-commitment contract for the IOP. Not sure what that is but I don't want to know so I can't relapse again while in this program. Then this morning I took a chance and emailed the T...J to let her know and to apologize for breaking our contract. R is going to let her know but I wanted to be the one to tell her. She thanked me for my honesty and said that my safety is number one concern and to contact her or R if I SH again before Friday but otherwise we'll talk about it on Friday. So far my insurance has only approved 10 days. R said this is common and he has to keep asking for more. I hope he can get more because 10 days is only 3 more meetings. I think I need more than that. Stupid insurance. I'm mad at them. I'm mad at myself. I really didn't want to come to work today but I needed to get some things done at work and I'm glad I did come in so that way I am not ruminating the whole day. I haven't told my parents (yet) so that'll be interesting. I did tell two of my support peeps and they were really supportive and stuff like that. UGH. so many mixed up emotions. But I am trying not to judge the emotions. That wouldn't be good. And I have some homework to do before I see the T that way I have "worked on" it. She didn't assign it but I got the idea from one of the classes.

Hugs, Kit, I'm sorry you ended up relapsing (but not judging you at all, just sorry you felt that badly). It's good that you were honest with the program and your program T.


As for the insurance thing, I know someone else who has done an IOP, and it was similar with them, where they would just approve a certain amount at a time. Actually, are you sure 10 days means 10 calendar days, so 3 meetings? Or did they mean 10 actual days of IOP?

So, amusing autocorrect thing from today's session. I was talking to Dr. T about something, and my Zoom just totally quit. I thought it was an issue with the program, then looked up and saw my WiFi was out. I was in the basement, tried to do the WiFi hotspot from my phone, it wasn't working because my phone signal was bad. Meanwhile, I'm trying to text Dr. T to let him know what was up, but of course that also wasn't going through (he'd texted "RU OK?" in the meantime).

Get upstairs, get back online and reconnect to Zoom. Dr. T asked if I'd seen what autocorrect had done to one of my texts. I'd intended to type "My WiFi died, give me a sec." It changed it to "My wife died, give me a sec." He was laughing and said it was like, "Oh, so my wife just died, but I only need a second, I don't want it to take away from my session time." Which led me to start laughing, and it was just sort of this almost cleansing laugh that I really think I needed.


(It occurs to me how that could have been very awkward had autocorrect opted to do something creative with "sec"...).

I’m so frustrated I could cry. Session this morning was more of T challenging me to consider how I devalue others instead of looking at my own contribution, which always feels like he’s trying to get me to say that I have feelings that I don’t actually have. This is my last day rotating though this hospital (where we spend two weeks out of the entire year), and there is nowhere for me to sit so they put me in a literal closet where there is a single computer at waist height, a low chair, and also an air vent that makes a continuous clicking sound. No one seems to know what to do with me today, and instead of telling me to go hone they are passing me around like an effing hot potato. And then tomorrow I’m at the busy academic hospital where I started out, with the same awful attending I had during my first week. I’m so deeply sick of this.

Oh, LT...(and Dr. T!)

Thank you for providing the laugh I've needed all day. I'm sorry your WiFi crapped out, but hope you were able to have the session you needed. Internet issues are just one of many reasons why I'm finding this teletherapy thing tortuous.

Hugs, Chihiro. That all sounds rather miserable.

I'm glad it helped, Lost! Session was helpful, though the disruption derailed things some and left me with less time than I'd wanted to talk about a particular topic near the end, regarding the frequency of sessions and whether I should continue this way or reduce (a discussion I initiated, not him). But I think we still discussed what I felt we needed to discuss and both said some important things.


The Internet issues can be quite frustrating. I mean, it's the equivalent for an in-person session of the T randomly getting up and leaving the room mid-sentence (or just ceasing speaking). Thankfully, we haven't had too many technical issues in the past 18 months, but there have been a few really ill-timed ones.

Oh, and I said how I knew I was sort of rambling about something when Zoom just quit. I said how I thought maybe Zoom was just like, "OK, I'm sick of your rambling, I'm out!" Dr. T said that would shorten quite a few business meetings if Zoom did that. He said it sounded like a Saturday Night Live sketch on new Zoom features.

Thanks, LT.


No they said the actual dates that they were approving and it only gives me three more sessions of IOP. R said this would probably happen and he would fight for more time for me so I am hopeful he can get more approved. I have decent insurance just IDK sometimes they are cheap about stuff. I know IOP is short term but c'mon.

They have to give the programme a chance to help you. I hope you can get another 10 days.

Thank you Lost.

Good thing it wasnt Dr T's WiFi that crapped out

Good point! That would not have been at all distressing for me to read, due to what happened with ex-MC's wife, of course...

Yeah, NOT AT ALL.