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CantExplain
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Default Sep 03, 2021 at 10:55 PM
  #1
Does T care how much you hurt? Or is your pain a matter of indifference?

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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 03:19 AM
  #2
I dont know if someone's therapist can say they "care" about a clients hurt but I do believe therapists generally are concerned with how the hurt affects your treatment.

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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 03:48 AM
  #3
I hope they dont care if your butt-hurt.
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 06:39 AM
  #4
Yes, my therapist has told me many times that she cares about me and my feelings/pain, and I believe her.
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 06:55 AM
  #5
Yes, absolutely. If a therapist didn't they would be in the wrong job.
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 09:18 AM
  #6
I have had 2 separate therapists tell me they don't.

one telling me that they were going to break me what ever happens (charming), and other telling me to just stop moaning and

Possible trigger:


as for the rest?. well: they've not said they do or they don't either way,, but it doesn't feel like it
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 09:37 AM
  #7
I doubt they care one way or the other. I do think they give lip service to it. For me, it wouldn't have mattered what the therapist thought about it. I didn't hire one of them to have them care about anything other than the one thing they failed at -explaining to me what I paid them for and how any of it was supposed to help with why I hired them in the first place.

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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 11:57 AM
  #8
I've pretty much always felt that L does.
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 12:02 PM
  #9
Do they professionally care? Sure. (Or they should, like a doctor should care about a patient’s physical pain.). It’s the job.

But if you mean personally, I think that would depend on the therapist and their relationship with that specific client.
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 12:40 PM
  #10
No. I don't think T truly cares, or grasps, how much I hurt.
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 01:03 PM
  #11
I think it depends on the type of modality they use and the issues they are willing to treat.

So for some - caring and not getting entangled in your hurt - even if it is them that hurt you is par for the course. Part of keeping boundaries and so on.

Given what's been going on with me and my T for the last month - a part of me hopes she cares enough to have gotten pissed at my reactions/behaviors and used her own outlets to address it. And maybe a bit guilty. Because having both those reactions would mean our connection is one of humanity - I am touching her humanity just as she is touching mine. Granted I've been with the same T for 6 yrs - doing attachment based therapy, if it's all been a lie/illusion - then I hope I never really wake from that part of it. She's stated she cares and sent thoughts of comfort - really, I get to choose if I believe/trust her or if I don't. And there are parts that still don't trust her and others that completely believe and trust her.
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 01:33 PM
  #12
Yes, I think so. I've been seeing him for years and we have a good relationship.
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 01:53 PM
  #13
Yes, I think L does. Least when she mirrors, she seems to really get it. Most the time, she has better words than I can even come up with. And her facial expressions often reflect the mood. Sometimes she's a little too much in rational mind and I have to remind her that I need emotional attunement and empathy. Rational mind is her default, but she is really good at empathy. She says she cares about me and my pain. She says that I matter and my pain matters. I believe her. Plus our number one rule is honesty, and so far I believe she's been honest with me.

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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 02:18 PM
  #14
Yes, I sure do my t always lets me know I can phone in between sessions and she seems to care about me allot more then previous t's in the past. Even when she was gone on sick leave this past spring she told me she thought of me allot while she was away.
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 03:52 PM
  #15
I am beginning to see that i would not make a very good t. "Oh your just butt-hurt. Go away kid, you bother me!" Its the WC Fields school of psychology and parenting. Woulda been better if i had imprinted on some geese like in that movie.
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 04:43 PM
  #16
Yes, they both professionally and personally.
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 04:55 PM
  #17
I think I had one T that cared other than that I feel like they don't care and I feel their responses are cold and detached in response to what I say about my emotional pain.

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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 05:13 PM
  #18
Yeah, I believe my T cares about my pain, personally and professionally. She has shown me in many different ways over the years.
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 05:38 PM
  #19
I think my therapist cares, but I also think that doesn't even matter. Like - so what? She has feelings of care, but that doesn't change anything or help in any meaningful way.

Her emotional experience of "care" is as equally helpful as not caring. It doesn't matter one whit.
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 09:01 PM
  #20
I have always felt like my 2 therapists care about me. They both have said so and also showed me.

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