Couch 232: Not Sully!

The past three years Trader Joe's has had seasonal gluten free pumpkin spice bagels, and I kept missing the narrow window of opportunity to get a bag. Today I found them and they are excellent (had with plain cream cheese).

Anyone want some brownies?

In today’s further food adventures i used a brownie mix I bought in the spring. Apparently it is not GF as I thought. I licked the spoon and my stomach already hurts. Who wants to lick the beater?

I guess my seminar students are getting brownies tomorrow.

The 2nd day of the workshop was just as fantastic as the first, I enjoyed it so much! Again the time went by SO fast. It was good working with the 2 other participants who were there today, the 3rd was unable to be on today for whatever reason. I think I'm going to do another workshop near the end of October, the next one in the series is about the shamanic worldview, that everything is alive. I'm so grateful that I found my way back to this practice, as I realized in the past couple days just how much I have missed it. When my local group started getting all political awhile back I stopped attending stuff, and I guess just kinda gradually let it fall away. I shall endeavor to not make that mistake again...

Glad you found them. I have not been making my usual tj's runs. I love some of their stuff but must lose weight because of arthritis and because the ones around here are bonkers about the virus and people wait in lines outside the store - I refuse to stand in line just for groceries when I can get them at non-line places

Well, it all came back up. Those darn kids better appreciate my sacrifice!

Been taking calls all morning at work, it's been back to back as usual, but at least no one's been yelling/cursing at me (yet). Happily I'm on lunch now. Then 4 more hours of calls... meh. We have a bunch of new hires who have been out of training for a few weeks now just waiting for them to start getting up to speed... then hopefully we'll only have to help out again sporadically. Right now our whole team takes calls on Monday then we are split up for the other days of the week so half of us anyway are working our normal job the other days of the week, so with overtime, we are not getting too behind in OUR work.

I just texted L a goofy little poem requesting a session on Friday. She responded by calling me "Sunny" and with a time. I suppose I have been feeling pretty sunny lately, especially after the workshop the past 2 days. I'm still a little on a high from that! I'm happy that there's no part of me trying to tell me not to bother her when I'm feeling good, to just stay on the break longer (it will be only 3 weeks if I go on Friday, but so what, right?) Because I really do want to discuss with her something surprising that came up for me during the workshop yesterday! Plus one of the dreams I had last night is just begging for her input as well.

Ugh!! I am sure they will. Hope you're feeling better!

Lunch break over... have a good afternoon all (or whatever the next several hours are depending where you are located )

I have a "check in" appointment today (30 minutes) with IOP T since my SH thoughts have been a lot and because since she asked to see my wounds on Friday I didn't think she was the most empathetic. I understand why they can't be but it just sucks. I did get some good empathy from a couple of my friends. But my thoughts are all crazy and telling me bad things. IDK thoughts or voices. Kind of looking forward to the appointment and kind of not. I don't want to end up feeling worse.

Hope it goes well, Kit!

Thanks, it went well. She gave me LOTS to work on. She acknowledged that maybe it was too much. The main thing is that I have to stay SH free to stay at this level of care IOP and that if I don't want to be pushed to residential I have to stay within those boundaries. So basically anything I have to do to keep myself safe than do it. We are trying to increase tolerance. I found out my group tonight will be run by someone else other than S. I don't know if I like that or not. I was used to S even though she was intense. Friday night wasn't run by S either and I found I was a bit disappointed. Tonight's group is on shame and resilience and J really wants me to clue in to that and see if something is bumping up against me and making me feel badly about myself. And then we will talk on Friday. It was nice she did a check in and she liked my Lego car so that was cool. Thanks for caring LT.

how come whenever yu see a Justice of the Peace they tell you the history of block letters on forms. every single time

Well, 8 hours of phone calls today certain brought me back down to earth....

You know, Uber, I don't believe you any more. I don't think my $30 off a food delivery offer is actually going to expire soon. Why? Because you've been telling me the same thing twice a week for about a year now. Maybe longer.

Also, Honda, I'm well aware that there is an outstanding airbag recall and I need to bring my car in for service. I noticed that you tried to trick me into opening the latest bi-monthly reminder letter by using a cutesy font on the envelope. Ha! I could see through your envelope that it was from you and I did not open it. Your plan was foiled. (I don't know why I haven't taken care of it yet, but my god, they're relentless with their reminders. I can only assume sending the stream of letters is less costly than a potential lawsuit.)

Corporations care about you.

(Are snark tags still a thing? If so, / .)

Shut the front door!

I had some of the mashed eggplant dish (forgot the name) for dinner last night (one of the ones I brought home from the indian restaurant saturday) it is SO GOOD! I will be getting that again.


Today for lunch I am looking forward to heating up some of the lentil one. Mmmmmm.

Happily, I am not taking calls today just doing my normal job. Yay! Oops, break is about over. Hugs all around to those who want/need.

One of the IOP T's S who is a group T had me stay late yesterday by about 5 to 10 minutes to process because I was presenting with safety concerns (SH). That was kind of her. We came up with three coping skills that I could use that night to get through and she asked if I had my plan from my individual T--J which I did. It's embarrassing always being the only one with safety concerns but I am almost always at risk for SH. So I feel like I have to say that I am at risk for that.

I'm glad that I have two nights off of IOP because of the intensity and that I have tomorrow off of work. I took a vacation day. I'm going to veg out, watch Hallmark movies and take a long shower. Do my makeup maybe. I haven't done my full face in a while.

My individual therapist at IOP--J--has me writing poetry to try to express emotions. It's kind of hard and I think all my poems suck, but I sent one to her yesterday and she said she really liked it. She said she could understand my experience through it. I'm afraid to send her one I wrote on distress because she might move to have me committed!