Couch 232: Not Sully!

chihirochild · Sep 26, 2021 at 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

Presumably because they feel as disregarded, unsupported, and devalued as you do - except they are paid significantly less than you. This kind of marginalisation eats away at someone's (especially a woman's) confidence and autonomy in the workplace.

Since I'm a fellow (a physician doing specialty training), they actually make more money than I do.

I don't believe that this episode counts as marginalization. I was polite to her, and I did what she asked. I was expressing frustration here, in this support group, that she woke me unnecessarily for something that could have easily waited a few hours; I did not complain to her supervisor or holler at her on the phone.

And I am also a woman. How is gender relevant to this situation?

comrademoomoo · Sep 26, 2021 at 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

Since I'm a fellow (a physician doing specialty training), they actually make more money than I do.

I don't believe that this episode counts as marginalization. I was polite to her, and I did what she asked. I was expressing frustration here, in this support group, that she woke me unnecessarily for something that could have easily waited a few hours; I did not complain to her supervisor or holler at her on the phone.

And I am also a woman. How is gender relevant to this situation?

Gender isn't relevant, sex is. Nursing is a predominantly female profession. It might be possible for you to feel empathy and compassion (rather than criticism) towards another woman working in similarly difficult circumstances.

I wasn't suggesting that you personally are marginalising nurses, rather that the frustration and disempowerment which you have experienced at your workplace will also be experienced by those on lower grades than you (and arguably more intensely so, although I see that this kind of class analysis makes you uncomfortable).

This might be a support forum, but it is ok for me to offer an alternative view. We don't need absolute harmony.

Daffydungle · Sep 26, 2021 at 09:44 PM

I love how my local baker doesnt have a set variety of goods everyday he just bakes what he feels like except bread you can always get a full range of bread.

Daffydungle · Sep 26, 2021 at 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

hi couch. anyone remember me?

its been quite a while, but i wanted to say hi to those of you that i recognize. im still seeing the same therapist as i was before. weve been working together for 11 years now. but i havent seen him in person since Feb 2020, so thats hard. its gona be so weird to see him IRL again. i told him that and he said maybe at first but it will be back to normal quickly. i hope so cause i can be a big weirdo about stuff like that. we were talking 2x a week during the start of the pandemic but i asked to move to 1x a week later in the year and weve been maintaining that.

ive been thru some changes in my life past few years, jobs and places to live. im doing okay right now emotionally. i feel pretty stable. my voices are under control most of the time, same with paranoia. i havent thought about or considered sui in ages. which kinda blows my mind if im honest because i spent like 30 years doing that every day.

i got sick with covid 2 weeks ago and still recovering from that which brings me to financials, my job refuses to pay me for days missed even tho i got sick from my boss who came to work sick and even tried to hide it from us that he might have covid. so money stuff is in the pits right now, but its kinda always been that way

anyway just a lil update from me if anyone cares or remembers me. i hope youre all doing okay or decent enough !!!

Thanks jdna great to hear from you.

stopdog · Sep 26, 2021 at 10:59 PM

I am doing some peloton strength training. I find the time passes faster because I yell at them for the idiotic things they say. Tonight it was "I love musicals because of the messages they send"
What sort of crap is that? I like musicals. I never once gave two shakes about a message

atisketatasket · Sep 26, 2021 at 11:08 PM

I shudder to think about the messages musicals might send.

unaluna · Sep 27, 2021 at 12:49 AM

A CHORUS LINE:

"I can do THAT!"

This changed my life. You guys are so cynical.

Or white...

WarmFuzzySocks · Sep 27, 2021 at 01:11 AM

Sweeney Todd?

P.S. While we're on the subject of music, I spent a good portion of yesterday with Let It Go and Let It Snow crashing around in my head together. Thanks a lot, Couch. Yikes.

(Then we watched Bohemian Rhapsody and I have been treating the whole house to my Queen earworms. Heh.)

CantExplain · Sep 27, 2021 at 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

A CHORUS LINE:

"I can do THAT!"

You guys are so cynical.

Or white...

And you're not?

Daffydungle · Sep 27, 2021 at 01:59 AM

Is it weird to pick up burgers in a drivethru in your pjs at 5 pm?

MobiusPsyche · Sep 27, 2021 at 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daffydungle

Is it weird to pick up burgers in a drivethru in your pjs at 5 pm?

Not weird. Freeing.

Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk

WarmFuzzySocks · Sep 27, 2021 at 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daffydungle

Is it weird to pick up burgers in a drivethru in your pjs at 5 pm?

Good golly, I hope not!

Really, it's not weird at all. My daughter works a drive through right now, and as long as you are courteous they don't care a bit what you're wearing.

LonesomeTonight · Sep 27, 2021 at 12:33 PM

Today's random Dr. T tangent--tapenade! And how he got a huge jar from his parents and it was so good but high in calories. I think it was triggered by my mentioning getting a hummus plate at a new restaurant and how huge it was (sadly, the hummus plate did not include tapenade, which I like).

Might write up some of the more clinical parts of the session later, stuff about my checking in on him last week to make sure he wasn't in the car accident (whether it was an "infraction"), fear of people not being permanent (possibly triggered in part by seeing him sick after his trip), what secure attachment really means, etc.

ArtieTheSequal · Sep 27, 2021 at 12:47 PM

Morning couch. My team at work is still on the phones every Monday. Hasn't been too bad yet today (on lunch now) I did an hour of OT from 5a-6a then took 17 calls since 6 am with a 15 minute break in there. A couple of them were kinda lengthy because they needed several things done that took some time. I'm doing SO much better with keeping my emotions out of the way (ie I don't cry anymore when somebody starts yelling at me and calling me names) and that's a huge plus! I know I never thought I'd get to this point. Well, I guess it's like what L said recently about me being a slow cooker - it took a long time, but so much that we've worked on in therapy is finally all coming together in a big way just in the last few months. It's nice to see it in different situations like today.

H just got home from dentist having a tooth pulled... gotta go check in with him. Have a good afternoon and hugs to those who want/need.

LonesomeTonight · Sep 27, 2021 at 12:56 PM

Artie, I can't imagine dealing with people on the phone at 5 am. I usually awake by 6 and can function in some ways (like I can do editing), but dealing with other people is another thing entirely! So, impressive that you're able to do that! And it's awesome that you're noticing a difference in how you handle calls.

SlumberKitty · Sep 27, 2021 at 01:53 PM

Whoops. I've emailed my T I think three times today. EEK. She might hate me after today. At least they are shortish emails. I'm really going to try to not email her for the rest of the day. I talk to her tomorrow, have group with her tomorrow night, and then talk to her on Friday. So that should be enough. IDK why I torture myself like I do.

SlumberKitty · Sep 27, 2021 at 01:54 PM

It's nice of my T to give me a second session this week though. She said she felt I needed additional support. That kind of makes me feel bad because I am already in IOP, how much more additional support should one need? But it's kind of her.

SlumberKitty · Sep 27, 2021 at 01:56 PM

My sister is stressing me out. She lost her job (due to a morals clause in her job contract) so did the boyfriend. He has a couple of interviews lined up. I don't know what my sister is going to do. She asked if she could move in here with my parents and me and my parents said yes. But IDK if she is going to do that because her kids are allowed to stay in the pricey Christian school for free this year. IDK what is going to happen. She is coming this weekend so I moved my IOP days around so that I don't have to worry about privacy concerns on Friday night.

ArtieTheSequal · Sep 27, 2021 at 03:12 PM

Hugs, Kit.

CantExplain · Sep 27, 2021 at 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

My sister is stressing me out. She lost her job (due to a morals clause in her job contract)....

She got caught at the drive-through in her PJs?

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Couch 232: Not Sully!

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Daffydungle Poohbah Member Since Apr 2020 Location: Nowhere Posts: 1,257 4 451 hugs given	Sep 26, 2021 at 09:44 PM #203 I love how my local baker doesnt have a set variety of goods everyday he just bakes what he feels like except bread you can always get a full range of bread.

atisketatasket Child of a lesser god Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Tartarus Posts: 19,147 (SuperPoster!) 8 12.4k hugs given	Sep 26, 2021 at 11:08 PM #206 I shudder to think about the messages musicals might send.

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,861 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.4k hugs given	Sep 27, 2021 at 12:49 AM #207 A CHORUS LINE: "I can do THAT!" This changed my life. You guys are so cynical. Or white...

Daffydungle Poohbah Member Since Apr 2020 Location: Nowhere Posts: 1,257 4 451 hugs given	Sep 27, 2021 at 01:59 AM #210 Is it weird to pick up burgers in a drivethru in your pjs at 5 pm?

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,744 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Sep 27, 2021 at 12:56 PM #215 Artie, I can't imagine dealing with people on the phone at 5 am. I usually awake by 6 and can function in some ways (like I can do editing), but dealing with other people is another thing entirely! So, impressive that you're able to do that! And it's awesome that you're noticing a difference in how you handle calls.

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Sep 27, 2021 at 01:54 PM #217 It's nice of my T to give me a second session this week though. She said she felt I needed additional support. That kind of makes me feel bad because I am already in IOP, how much more additional support should one need? But it's kind of her. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,232 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,760 hugs given	Sep 27, 2021 at 03:12 PM #219 Hugs, Kit.