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atisketatasket
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Default Oct 15, 2021 at 10:58 PM
  #661
Info and Grumpy Old Man Cat should put on a fashion show.

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Default Oct 15, 2021 at 11:18 PM
  #662
I could emcee in my sparkly dress and my new shoes. Have to put them to use somehow.

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Default Oct 15, 2021 at 11:23 PM
  #663
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Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks View Post
I could emcee in my sparkly dress and my new shoes. Have to put them to use somehow.
I don’t know...you might get confused with Info.

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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 12:40 AM
  #664
The cleavage (or lack thereof) would certainly give it away.

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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 01:36 AM
  #665
Trying to navigate a friendship with someone who was also friends with your abusive ex, when they didn't really see the relationship as abusive but just a "you and him" kind of thing, is really, really hard. It makes me wonder if I wasn't just as much of a problem as the ex was. And if so, who am I to call the ex abusive. Was I just as abusive as he was?
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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 01:53 AM
  #666
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Originally Posted by NP_Complete View Post
Trying to navigate a friendship with someone who was also friends with your abusive ex, when they didn't really see the relationship as abusive but just a "you and him" kind of thing, is really, really hard. It makes me wonder if I wasn't just as much of a problem as the ex was. And if so, who am I to call the ex abusive. Was I just as abusive as he was?
I have had the same thoughts. I am ashamed of the violence I have inside me.

Is it worth discussing in therapy? Whatever behavior you are questioning in yourself, doesn't negate your ex's behavior. He absolutely was abusive, and he should be taking the blame for his behavior.

ETA: Do you have to be friends with this person? They didn't see the abuse, because the ex treated you well in front of others? Or they just thought that was the dynamic in your relationship?

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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 02:25 AM
  #667
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Huh, I thought I wasn’t eligible for a COVID booster (too young, no underlying medical conditions) but I just learned from the CDC page that educational staff are eligible.

I still had antibodies a month ago when I did my school’s antibody survey, but they didn’t test for level. And it’s been 8+ months since my second shot.

I dunno. Getting vaccinated was a no-brainer, but I’m much less enthused about a booster shot for some reason.
I had a 3rd Moderna about 3 weeks ago. No problems with it at all.
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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 04:13 AM
  #668
Regarding booster shots, take this with a big grain of salt of course, but a few things to consider.

First, we could theoretically get into a situation where we give booster shots to everyone every few months, without ever knowing whether that's necessary. That doesn't sound like a good thing. It might be necessary, we are not sure yet as far as I know.

Second, while risk for infection increases after about 6-7 months (with Pfizer and Moderna at least), risk for hospitalization does not increase in most people - with the exception of immunocompromised people mostly as far as I know. Meaning you get sick, but are still very unlikely to have to go to the hospital.

And third, antibodies from natural infection seem to be "better", since the vaccines only target one protein, the spike, whereas your natural antibodies will be able to target all the proteins the virus has, about 28 I think. Giving you better protection against future variants. There's also reason to believe that the antibodies will last longer. There have been propositions to only give people two shots, then let natural infection happen, which would mean not a big risk for hospitalization while afterwards having an immune system better trained for real life.

Since the virus is endemic and everyone will be exposed to it at some point, it might be preferable to give them natural immunity over booster shots all the time, especially since those shots will have to be updated over time as well, similar to the flu vaccine. If you look at the development of the small pox vaccine, first some vaccine doses and then regular exposure to a virus can be safe and gives you great immunity.
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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 05:01 AM
  #669
LT insaw this and thought of you
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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 07:30 AM
  #670
That is wild! I never find anything interesting on the internet! I have to be led by the hand.
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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 08:25 AM
  #671
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Originally Posted by NP_Complete View Post
Trying to navigate a friendship with someone who was also friends with your abusive ex, when they didn't really see the relationship as abusive but just a "you and him" kind of thing, is really, really hard. It makes me wonder if I wasn't just as much of a problem as the ex was. And if so, who am I to call the ex abusive. Was I just as abusive as he was?
The question has also occurred to me. And the answer I finally arrived at was, yes, I had issues nd made mistakes, but I only very rarely acted towards him without love and consideration. I wasn’t the one who name-called, or insulted, or spat in the other’s face, or constantly criticized the other, or roused them at night to scream at them, or physically threatened the other, or wasn’t there for the other in crisis, or tell the other that things inborn to them (disability for me) were things that were just in their imagination.

I made some contribution to the toxic relationship dynamic (and it’s good to recognize that part of yourself so you can improve as a person), but that’s very different from being abusive.

And I’m with SM: is this friendship worth it? It sounds like it might just be a way of keeping old wounds open and to keep following old patterns.

ETA: CNS, those are pretty much the reasons I am not enthused about a booster shot. It’d be different if I were older or had health conditions.

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Last edited by atisketatasket; Oct 16, 2021 at 08:40 AM..
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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 10:10 AM
  #672
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LT insaw this and thought of you

That's funny--thanks for sharing!
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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 10:25 AM
  #673
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Trying to navigate a friendship with someone who was also friends with your abusive ex, when they didn't really see the relationship as abusive but just a "you and him" kind of thing, is really, really hard. It makes me wonder if I wasn't just as much of a problem as the ex was. And if so, who am I to call the ex abusive. Was I just as abusive as he was?

If this friend is making you doubt yourself and the reality of your ex being abusive, then agreed with some other comments that they might not be the best friend for you, at least at this point in your life. Your ex was objectively abusive--I mean, he went to prison for one of the things he did.
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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 10:37 AM
  #674
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
Huh, I thought I wasn’t eligible for a COVID booster (too young, no underlying medical conditions) but I just learned from the CDC page that educational staff are eligible.

I still had antibodies a month ago when I did my school’s antibody survey, but they didn’t test for level. And it’s been 8+ months since my second shot.

I dunno. Getting vaccinated was a no-brainer, but I’m much less enthused about a booster shot for some reason.
When I got the monoclonal antibodies they told me I can't get a booster for 90 days

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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 10:39 AM
  #675
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Yeah we had 4100 new cases today. Same yesterday. Who and where are these people and what are they doing? Going to football games? Sharing snacks with strangers?
I got covid from my boss. I was fully vaxxed in April

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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 11:44 AM
  #676
Morning couch. Hugs/headnods all around as appropriate.

Had a quite fruitful session with L yesterday. We did some good dream work with 2 of the dreams I'd brought with me; I had some rich material built up after 3 weeks much of which I had already worked with, so I just kind of listened to all of it for what wanted most to come and brought only a fraction of it so we'd have time and not have to rush through any of it. That worked out well so I will do the same before my next session in a month. We'd been doing 3 weeks between, but I decided yesterday to see how 4 weeks goes - I am thinking that ideally, I would like to settle into seeing her once a month for awhile. I feel like I am (finally) actually in charge of my process now, much more than I ever have been in the past and that feels pretty darn good.

It's super windy here today and 70 degrees, blue sky with fluffy white clouds, a beautiful day here in the desert! So I'm going for a walk while it's still cool. It's a fun time of year to walk in my new neighborhood - since there's lots of families with kids here, the halloween decorations are plentiful!
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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 01:45 PM
  #677
NP- Your ex was abusive. A friend who is unwilling to believe your own experience of your own relationship, all of the parts this person didn't see, is not much of a friend. If this is the friend you've mentioned before, this isn't the first time this has come up with this person. I wonder if discussing the past with this person might be something to avoid.

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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 01:51 PM
  #678
oh happy day. I just learned that our bankruptcy came off our credit reports yesterday! I thought we still had a few months to go til it came off.
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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 02:32 PM
  #679
Glad to hear it, Artie!
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Default Oct 16, 2021 at 06:17 PM
  #680
After 6 years i finally bought a new diniing suite and got rid of the last thing associated with my ex the old dining set which was given to us by his parents, after they had got 20 years use out of it. I finally found i was able to sit at the table and eat a meal without being anxious but i hadnt realised i had been anxious until i ate at the new table and noticed it was pleasant and relaxing. Its it strange how anxiety became so familiar you think thats how normal feels. The pain in my stomach after eating has eased.
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