[tobee]

I am ready to terminate with my T.

I dont know how.

If i send her an email. she will insist on a phone call.

As i have written in my prev. post. she is very direct and with no filter.
talks down to me.

So I really dont want to converse with her again.

what can i write that is polite and just doesnt have her asking me for more explanation.

As soon as I send her the email, i know she will call me.
and she will be all sarcastic and talking down to me for making this decision.

I am kinda expecting this to blow in my face .

[Salmon77]

You're under no obligation to give her any further explanation if you don't want to. I'd say just send the email and if she calls, don't pick up.

[stopdog]

If you are an adult -you don't have to talk to her. Email or leave a message then block her

[Rive.]

If i send her an email. she will insist on a phone call

She can insist all she wants but you don't owe her anything. This is your decision, period.

If you want to email her, do so and you can always block her (phone / email), if need be.

Again, you do not owe her anything. This is your right.

[corbie]

Gosh, she sounds terrible (looked at the other thread also). You don't owe her an explanation, or anything at all. As others said, you can always just not answer the phone. It's better to be 'rude' or 'unreasonable' once (not that I think it's either, but I imagine she might try to frame it that way), than to get abused again and again and again. It's not her place to try to dictate how you lead your life, and it's better to not give her a chance at all, because it sounds like once she gets a foot in the door it's very hard for you to resist her. Which is not meant to be criticism or anything negative, very understandable considering what you wrote about your parents.

[ArtleyWilkins]

You don't even have to email or call. Just cancel any future appointments and don't go back. Very likely, they'll never contact you. If they do, the answer is "I've decided not to continue therapy. Thank you." Click.

I never told my last therapist I was stopping. I just stopped going. (We knew it was coming - we just didn't make a big ending deal out of it. It was just time - and on good terms in our case.)

[confused_77]

Do whatever feels right to you. Would just sending an email give you the closure you require? What is it that you fear about her insisting to have a phone conversations?
I agree with others. You dont owe her an explanation but think about yourself. Maybe as uncomfortable as this last chat will be it would give you a chance to say what you think or feel?

[tobee]

I was reluctant to block her, as she has my card info and she may reply to my email saying she will see me at the regular time to discuss this.

I hope she doesnt expect me if i dont reply to the email.

thinking of writing this in email:

Hi T.

I have decided not to continue with therapy.

Please cancel all my future appts.

- sounds pretty abrupt. not sure what else to add here.

she doenst let me even cancel without a good explanation, i dont know how this will go with her.

[tobee]

she makes the appt. we have a regular time every week.

so if i email her and say i want to cancel, she will email saying call me. or i will get a call within an hour. asking why i want to cancel.

I could openly talk to her why her style is not working for me, but she is so blunt, i am just afraid of the things that she will say to me. she regularly puts me down in session. i end up agreeing.

i was already feeling down this week and in session she just kept hammering that the way i feel is childish and i need to grow up. etc.
i feel worse now.

Do i need to give her any other info in the email?i dont want her calling cops on me or something to check up, if i block her and not respond to her emails at all.

[corbie]

Not letting you cancel? Is that even ethical? I'm pretty sure it isn't. If the world made any sense (which it might not) she'd be the one getting into trouble with the cops if you ask her to cancel and she doesn't comply.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by tobee

I was reluctant to block her, as she has my card info and she may reply to my email saying she will see me at the regular time to discuss this.

I hope she doesnt expect me if i dont reply to the email.

thinking of writing this in email:

Hi T.

I have decided not to continue with therapy.

Please cancel all my future appts.

- sounds pretty abrupt. not sure what else to add here.

she doenst let me even cancel without a good explanation, i dont know how this will go with her.

You DO NOT have to talk to her and she cannot just charge your credit card. Don't talk to her. And if you have to -cancel the credit card -report it stolen or lost. DO not let this pos therapist intimidate you

[Rive.]

Why do you give her so much power? I can see why she would say you are childish and need to grow up - your reaction or fear of her seems to come from a young place.

You don't owe her any explanation: I want to stop therapy, thank you.

[Salmon77]

What you wrote is perfectly fine and you don't have to give her any more information. You have the right to quit therapy at any time for any reason.

I'm sorry you've had this experience, this therapist sounds really awful.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Salmon77

What you wrote is perfectly fine and you don't have to give her any more information. You have the right to quit therapy at any time for any reason.

I'm sorry you've had this experience, this therapist sounds really awful.

I agree with this. Also, if she charges your credit card for the next session and you have the email canceling, you could dispute the charge with your credit card.

[SalingerEsme]

Why not include the paragraph saying you’re not a good fit for her style?

[Salmon77]

Originally Posted by SalingerEsme

Why not include the paragraph saying you’re not a good fit for her style?

Why bother? OP shouldn't spend an extra second of effort on this.

Besides, giving a reason is just giving her an opening to argue.

[bachir]

Admittedly, I haven't read your previous threads, but I just came back after two years of being away. But based on what you've shared, and the replies you've received it's sounding to me like you may have a narcissistic therapist, at least to some degree. I would encourage you to check out this video by the foremost expert on it (in the US), and see if this speaks to your situation, at least to some extent. Her name is Dr. Ramani, and I really appreciate her videos. She's spot on about it all. She's an author, professor, therapist and researcher, but more importantly she's down to earth, humble and validating! She's helped thousands upon thousands of people with her video's. Just read some comments and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Anyway, I'm sharing a video called, "Can a therapist be a narcissist?" by her. I don't know how much of it will apply to your situation, but at 15:11 in the video she describes what therapy is meant to be and what it's not. She even encourages people to leave such situations (when they're toxic). I trust you'll find that part of the video especially helpful. Can a therapist be a narcissist? - YouTube

As others have said, you don't owe her an explanation. I'm glad to hear you'd be doing an email. If she is on any level narcissistic you'll have proof that you terminated the relationship. Hopefully she won't try charging you for any sessions going forward. It would be illegal for her to do, and your email can prove you terminated the relationship if she did. (I would definitely press charges if she did that because she would need to learn a lesson, and it may impact her ability to mess with other people as she's messed with you.)

As others have suggested, I would encourage you to either block or ignore her once the email is sent, and NEVER say another word to her. You can talk about how it's effecting you here while you look for another therapist - when you're ready. Your current therapist doesn't sound worthy of your precious time or energy. You deserve better, and there are definitely good therapists out there. Just gotta find a good fit, and not one like you currently have.

There are bad apples out there, in every profession. I think it's important for each of us to understand that we don't have to tolerate it. We can look elsewhere for the kind of care we both need and deserve. It can be a pain in the arse looking, but it'll be worth it in the end when we find health care professionals that meet our actual needs with sincerity, care, dignity and respect. You deserve it! As do we all.

[tobee]

emailed her just now. blocked email. blocked number .

i feel so relieved.

no need to satisfy her with my reasoning and no more mocking from her.

looking forward to a good weekend.

thank u everyone for ur supportive comments.