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Default Sep 25, 2021 at 12:40 PM
  #21
he calls me punk lol

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Default Sep 26, 2021 at 02:10 AM
  #22
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Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
Noun terms of endearment (i.e. sweetie, honey, etc.), no. Adjectives, yes, when addressing me in an email. She'll often call me precious or sweet. I don't think I'd like the nouns. I think it would make me feel minimized or ...?
No offense but that seems inappropriate.

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My Pdoc calls me Miss Scarlet. I hate it.
You are a woman right? Is your pdoc male? For decades women have had to put up with pet names because as Daisy Buchanon says in "The Great Gatsby"
"I guess all I am is a fool. A darling little fool"
You are not a fool. tell your doc you hate that name and to use your real one.

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Default Sep 26, 2021 at 01:13 PM
  #23
My current therapist never has; it would feel weird if she did maybe because she is a few years younger than I am.

Long term therapist did on occasion. Sometimes as I entered or left her office office she said in he softwr sweeter voice "well hello lady" or I will see you next week my lady. Or wehrn we had an emotional session as we were hugging I would thank you, she would say "anytime my dear"

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Default Sep 26, 2021 at 03:48 PM
  #24
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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
[FONT="Georgia"][SIZE="3"][B]
No offense but that seems inappropriate.
@sarahsweets I am interested in why you think this is inappropriate. To me, it seems like the acceptable and usual kind of affection/regard which happens in relational therapy.
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Default Sep 26, 2021 at 04:43 PM
  #25
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Originally Posted by comrademoomoo View Post
@sarahsweets I am interested in why you think this is inappropriate. To me, it seems like the acceptable and usual kind of affection/regard which happens in relational therapy.

Saying goodbye hon or see you dear is one thing calling someone precious and sweet just seems odd to me.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Default Sep 26, 2021 at 04:47 PM
  #26
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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post

No offense but that seems inappropriate.


You are a woman right? Is your pdoc male? For decades women have had to put up with pet names because as Daisy Buchanon says in "The Great Gatsby"
"I guess all I am is a fool. A darling little fool"
You are not a fool. tell your doc you hate that name and to use your real one.
Woah! How is that inappropriate? So you think calling someone "Sweetie" is appropriate, but saying "Sweet Scarlet" or "Dear Precious Scarlet" is inappropriate?

This whole thread is about terms of endearment. You don't have to attack my post specifically if you disagree with this topic. I'm not here to fight anyone.

P.S. - Pdoc is a woman

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Default Sep 26, 2021 at 04:47 PM
  #27
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Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
Woah! How is that inappropriate? So you think calling someone "Sweetie" is appropriate, but saying "Sweet Scarlet" or "Dear Precious Scarlet" is inappropriate?

This whole thread is about terms of endearment. You don't have to attack my post specifically if you disagree with this topic. I'm not here to fight anyone.

P.S. - Pdoc is a woman

I’m so sorry! I was not attacking you or your post. I guess I let my female empowerment get the best of me.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Default Sep 26, 2021 at 04:57 PM
  #28
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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post


I’m so sorry! I was not attacking you or your post. I guess I let my female empowerment get the best of me.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
It's okay. I got defensive too.

L asked if it was okay to use the adjectives with me, and I agreed. I like them.

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Default Sep 26, 2021 at 06:39 PM
  #29
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Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
It's okay. I got defensive too.

L asked if it was okay to use the adjectives with me, and I agreed. I like them.

Again my apologies. I’m not a
Mean person

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Default Sep 29, 2021 at 10:17 AM
  #30
Pdoc does and always has as it is a normal part of her communication style. She also easily moves between using my full first name and the shortened version I go by with friends.
T doesn’t and I can’t imagine him ever doing it. We haven’t talked about it but I think for him it would make it hard for him to stay in his role as therapist if he used terms of endearment or the shorter version of my name. He regularly tells me that he loves me, uses very nurturing vocal inflections and will hug me. At this point with him saying he loves me and all the ways he will show care through touch I think it would freak me out if he called me hun or sweetie. And… if given the choice I will gladly take the physical demonstration of care over terms of endearment. I would be totally OK if he used the shortened version of my name.
Art T… we are still pretty early in our journey together. She has not used a term of endearment with me but it wouldn’t shock me if she did. I do think it would bug me a little as it would feel more demeaning coming from her than it does when Pdoc does it. Now that I am pondering though… I may see if she would be open to using the shortened version of my name. As playful and sisterly as she is when she isn’t deep diving the short version of my name may be more fitting.

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Default Oct 04, 2021 at 09:42 PM
  #31
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When I leave her office she always says “bye my dear.” Or just “bye dear.” And part of me doesn’t mind it because the word is gender neutral but at the same time I’m wondering if she’s taking me seriously when she says that. She almost called me ma’am right after I told her I am trans but she caught herself just in time.

Does your therapist use any words like dear, hon, or sweetie? How does it make you feel?
Madame T called me "sweetheart" once, but that was sarcasm.

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Default Oct 06, 2021 at 08:22 AM
  #32
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Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
Madame T called me "sweetheart" once, but that was sarcasm.
I’m pretty sure my last therapist was nothing but a walking cluster**** of sarcasm who gave zero shits.

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Default Oct 06, 2021 at 09:56 AM
  #33
No, but my psychiatrist does sometimes call me dear, (she is a lot older than me (she's in her 60's, I'm 27), I don't mind it

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Default Oct 06, 2021 at 03:45 PM
  #34
Omers, is the shortened version of your name not common? Have you asked your T to call you that or does it not matter to you?

My T started out calling me my birthname. After a few appointments I asked her to call me by the shortened version of my name because it was bothering me. I had referred to my nickname but had not asked her to use it so she did not assume. She happily obliged bexause the only time my full name was used is when people are angry. She used my full name a couple of times after that. I quickly said my nickname..we both laughed but she got it.

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Default Oct 06, 2021 at 07:57 PM
  #35
My name is not particularly common so I don’t know if the shortened version is common among those with my name or not. I have only met two other people with my name, both males and both significantly younger than me. I have not asked T to use the shortened version of my name. My last T just did, then caught herself and asked. Most of my T’s have just used it. It isn’t a big deal to me with T as he tends to be very formal despite being very warm and approachable. It might be a bigger deal with me and art T though… I think with her style my shortened name just fits better… then we will see how they work it out when they meet and/or all three of us are in a room together.
Honestly it wouldn’t surprise me if using formal names isn’t a way my T keeps the therapeutic space and would be a boundary unless a client was adamant.

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Default Oct 09, 2021 at 08:13 AM
  #36
No, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that. Interesting note though ; I’m a family practice physician assistant and some of my older patients have used endearments and that doesn’t bother me at all, if I have a well established relationship with them.
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Default Oct 10, 2021 at 08:12 PM
  #37
Never.

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