Hello after a long time away, texts, rules, nightmares

coolibrarian · Sep 23, 2021 at 02:25 PM

Greetings!
I've been away from PC for a long time, for a variety of reasons, but I wanted to check in.
I retired in August and am MUCH more relaxed. Also, my depression has decreased incredibly; I knew work was causing me stress, but I didn't know how much! Anxiety is still around, but much less than before.

I still see T, via telemedicine, every two weeks. During the last month she has first said I could text her and she would reply, but then changed it and said I could text her, but she wouldn't reply. This was at the end of my last session, so I didn't get to discuss it with her. I plan to, next week.

What about your T? Have they changed the "rules" in the middle of the game?

Last night I had a nightmare about T retiring and moving away, and not telling me ahead of time. When I awoke this morning, I almost called her, just to make sure she's still in town.

I hope you are all doing as well as can be expected. Take care.

Cool

Nammu · Sep 23, 2021 at 02:27 PM

Congratulations on your retirement! Glad to hear this has helped

chihirochild · Sep 23, 2021 at 02:45 PM

That rule-changing would make me crazy.

My T hasn’t done anything exactly like that, but there was a time when he had initially asked me to send him pre-session emails, and then changed his mind and asked me to stop (and admitted he hadn’t read the most recent one and refused to do so). That hurt, and was also annoying.

SlumberKitty · Sep 23, 2021 at 03:21 PM

Hi Cool

Nice to see you, friend. I'm glad to hear that retirement has helped you. That's great.

I don't have experience with a T changing the rules mid game but that would drive me nuts. I'm sorry you had a nightmare too.

HUGS Kit

velcro003 · Sep 23, 2021 at 09:01 PM

Hey Cool. I'm glad you are feeling better! I would HATE it if my T changed the "rules" on me. If she suddenly didn't allow texting or emails, I'd be very hurt. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

ChickenNoodleSoup · Sep 24, 2021 at 04:21 AM

Hey again! Good to hear you're hanging in there!

As for changing rules, my T has done that sometimes. Most recently during our phone calls, which he'd always said would last 10 minutes, he started to go down to 8 or 7 minutes (consistently, not just once). Discussing it is good, I support that. My go to argument is that he always claims we're working as a team, so if we do that, we have to discuss changes like that as a team, he can't just decide without me.

Lostislost · Sep 24, 2021 at 06:31 AM

Hi, glad the retirement has helped, that’s great news.

My T changed the rules once and wasn’t even going to tell me until I asked…! We used to share things with each other on private social media accounts. Then one day I went to a therapy session and he had this form he asked me to sign. I asked what it meant, was anything changing? And he said yes…I can’t post or follow you anymore on those accounts. I was pretty upset.

Omers · Sep 26, 2021 at 04:43 PM

I am glad things are going better!
My T has changed the boundaries once or twice over the almost three years we have worked together. He has only ever changed his end of the boundaries… like when I was emailing him long message a lot he said he would still read all of them when he got the chance and it may not be before the next session. He has always explained why and gave me plenty of room for us to discuss it.

coolibrarian · Sep 29, 2021 at 02:49 PM

The "lack of depression" only lasted a month. For more details, see my new post of today.

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Hello after a long time away, texts, rules, nightmares

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Nammu Crone Member Since May 2010 Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system. Posts: 71,285 (SuperPoster!) 13 53.6k hugs given	Sep 23, 2021 at 02:27 PM #2 Congratulations on your retirement! Glad to hear this has helped __________________ *Nammu* …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Sep 23, 2021 at 02:45 PM #3 That rule-changing would make me crazy. My T hasn’t done anything exactly like that, but there was a time when he had initially asked me to send him pre-session emails, and then changed his mind and asked me to stop (and admitted he hadn’t read the most recent one and refused to do so). That hurt, and was also annoying.
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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Sep 23, 2021 at 03:21 PM #4 Hi Cool Nice to see you, friend. I'm glad to hear that retirement has helped you. That's great. I don't have experience with a T changing the rules mid game but that would drive me nuts. I'm sorry you had a nightmare too. HUGS Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Sep 23, 2021 at 09:01 PM #5 Hey Cool. I'm glad you are feeling better! I would HATE it if my T changed the "rules" on me. If she suddenly didn't allow texting or emails, I'd be very hurt. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
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coolibrarian Poohbah Member Since Feb 2014 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 1,302 10 1,041 hugs given	Sep 29, 2021 at 02:49 PM #9 The "lack of depression" only lasted a month. For more details, see my new post of today. __________________ In a world where you can be anything, be kind. ;
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