Should I tell psychologist?

waterfall99 · Oct 15, 2021 at 09:22 AM

Hi folks.

Im seeing a psychologist to help me with my thoughts. She is very good, professional and obviously knows what she is talking about. We're working through a lot of stuff and I trust her with what I'm telling her. You see I'm not telling her something significantly bothering me- it is hidden in myself I think I've sort of disconnected myself from it. I feel both fine but miserable at the same time. I had a terrible thought when I was younger and I just don't know to tell her. I'm greatly disturbed and when I remembered about this thought it changed everything I don't enjoy things the same, feel disconnected from life and feel deeply in pain I can't even explain but yet numb at the same time. I really want to tell her but I'm too frightened. Any advice?

Thanks
A xx

Broken Old Man · Oct 15, 2021 at 09:32 AM

Waterfall,
I'm no expert, but I did have a very positive experience with the therapist I used to see.
I'm not a very open person, but I was able to open up to her. I didn't hide anything from her.
Being open with her helped me work through a lot of issues I had had all of my life.
I'm glad I talked to her and didn't hold back.

BOM

NP_Complete · Oct 15, 2021 at 10:48 AM

I've told my psychologist many things that seemed obviously horrible and shameful about myself. He took each one in stride and reassured me I wasn't a horrible person and that our relationship was only stronger because I'd been able to share whatever it was with him. He still seems to like me.

If it's bothering you this much, it's something you should probably talk about. You could start by talking about your fear of sharing something with her. You could also write it down if you don't think you can say it out loud.

Rive. · Oct 15, 2021 at 10:54 AM

Because you say it is bothering you, I would tell her - starting with exactly this:

Quote:

I really want to tell her but I'm too frightened

You don't even need to go straight into the story, but can start exploring your feelings and/or fear around telling the story.

ScarletPimpernel · Oct 15, 2021 at 10:57 AM

L tells me there's no topic off limit in therapy.

I've told L many many things that I'm ashamed of and think makes me a bad person. Everything from thoughts, feelings, beliefs, dreams, fantasies, to even actions. Some of these things are in the past, some are in the present. L has helped me so much process these things and it has really helped easy the shame. Not saying the process is easy, but imo worth it.

RoxanneToto · Oct 15, 2021 at 11:02 AM

I’d agree - if it bothers you, it’s worth bringing up. They’re there to help and support you and it will be in confidence, just between you two.

ArtieTheSequal · Oct 16, 2021 at 01:58 PM

There were some things I told L that I have never told another person, and a couple of them I had to write down and hand her the paper and ask her to read it to herself not out loud. It felt easier to talk about somehow after she already knew the thing.

Favorite Jeans · Oct 16, 2021 at 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rive.

Because you say it is bothering you, I would tell her - starting with exactly this: You don't even need to go straight into the story, but can start exploring your feelings and/or fear around telling the story.

I second this as a strategy. I have spent several sessions just talking about my anxiety about talking about something. It’s made it easier during the session when I finally said it and afterward I felt way less freaked out than I had on previous occasions when I hadn’t prepared as well for a hard conversation.

waterfall99 · Oct 21, 2021 at 07:22 AM

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement <3

coolibrarian · Nov 10, 2021 at 12:54 PM

I call it "Talking around the topic." Makes it much easier to actually talk about the topic itself.

*Beth* · Nov 10, 2021 at 05:27 PM

I so relate to your original post. All this time in therapy and I still haven't been able to talk about what bothers me so much and makes my life so painful. It just won't come out, and that is terribly frustrating. I'm so glad you got such good advice on this thread. Thank you for posting this thread. Hopefully, we can both use the ideas.

Princess Zelda · Nov 20, 2021 at 10:36 PM

My therapist is also nice and professional she really helps out we do phone calls she really understands me and also knows what she is doing

AliceKate · Nov 26, 2021 at 03:12 AM

Did you end up telling your T? You know, the knowledge that a Therapist is under obligation to not speek of what you reveal to him has been very helpful to me.

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Broken Old Man Member Member Since Oct 2021 Location: Colorado Posts: 68 2	Oct 15, 2021 at 09:32 AM #2 Waterfall, I'm no expert, but I did have a very positive experience with the therapist I used to see. I'm not a very open person, but I was able to open up to her. I didn't hide anything from her. Being open with her helped me work through a lot of issues I had had all of my life. I'm glad I talked to her and didn't hold back. BOM
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RoxanneToto Grand Poohbah Member Since Aug 2020 Location: England Posts: 1,692 3 6,991 hugs given	Oct 15, 2021 at 11:02 AM #6 I’d agree - if it bothers you, it’s worth bringing up. They’re there to help and support you and it will be in confidence, just between you two.
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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,217 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,754 hugs given	Oct 16, 2021 at 01:58 PM #7 There were some things I told L that I have never told another person, and a couple of them I had to write down and hand her the paper and ask her to read it to herself not out loud. It felt easier to talk about somehow after she already knew the thing.
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waterfall99 Junior Member Member Since May 2021 Location: europe Posts: 14 2 3 hugs given	Oct 21, 2021 at 07:22 AM #9 Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement <3
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coolibrarian Poohbah Member Since Feb 2014 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 1,302 10 1,041 hugs given	Nov 10, 2021 at 12:54 PM #10 I call it "Talking around the topic." Makes it much easier to actually talk about the topic itself. __________________ In a world where you can be anything, be kind. ;
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Nov 10, 2021 at 05:27 PM #11 I so relate to your original post. All this time in therapy and I still haven't been able to talk about what bothers me so much and makes my life so painful. It just won't come out, and that is terribly frustrating. I'm so glad you got such good advice on this thread. Thank you for posting this thread. Hopefully, we can both use the ideas. __________________
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Princess Zelda Member Member Since Sep 2020 Location: Austin Posts: 272 3 196 hugs given	Nov 20, 2021 at 10:36 PM #12 My therapist is also nice and professional she really helps out we do phone calls she really understands me and also knows what she is doing
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AliceKate Grand Member Member Since Jan 2021 Location: On a raindrop far, far away Posts: 871 3 2,208 hugs given	Nov 26, 2021 at 03:12 AM #13 Did you end up telling your T? You know, the knowledge that a Therapist is under obligation to not speek of what you reveal to him has been very helpful to me. __________________ my life explained in two smileys
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