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View Poll Results: How do you refer to others when talking about them in a session?
Everyone is referred to with their names 12 37.50%
Everyone is referred to with their names
12 37.50%
Everyone is referred some defining attribute 4 12.50%
Everyone is referred some defining attribute
4 12.50%
It depends on the person 12 37.50%
It depends on the person
12 37.50%
It depends on the therapist or state of therapy 4 12.50%
It depends on the therapist or state of therapy
4 12.50%
Voters: 32. You may not vote on this poll

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susannahsays
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Default Jan 22, 2022 at 09:07 PM
  #21
My current therapist doesn't seem to remember names, so I just refer to them by their relationship to me. That feels better than having to remind her that x is my sister every time she comes up.

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Omers
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Default Jan 23, 2022 at 02:26 AM
  #22
In my family of origin it was dangerous to get too close to anyone so I usually had three names I would refer to people by. By giving them three names my mother assumed they were different people and didn't get jealous. So I still tend to do that out of habit. Then there is another odd quirk I have... In high school and college I had a lot of dual relationships with faculty and sometimes their title would change in the time I knew them... so my gym teacher from HS was Mrs H, Ms K and Mrs M. I still refer to as what ever name she was using at the time I am talking about her. So my freshman year she is Mrs H... but then when we get to my Sr year I call her Mrs M. Or my college math prof... was prof P, Dr P and then J when we were not on campus. I gave poor T a chart once I trusted him enough and he still can't keep up. Some sessions are "yeh, Mrs H, K, M , that gym teacher from HS... well she... and T just looks at me funny.
I also have a friend who "was" male when I met him (he didn't feel safe coming out) then transitioned... so old stories I use the male pronoun and then in current stories I use her actual pronoun.
Art T thinks she keeps up with all the people and the names but I just laugh.

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RollercoasterLover
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Default Jan 23, 2022 at 02:42 PM
  #23
It depends, but it depends less on the therapist/state of therapy than on the impact the person has in my life. My first T noticed that people who are important to me in a positive way, get a name and a relationship identifier in both conversation and Journaling (ie my daughter Jane, my son Joe, my neighbor Mary). People who created trauma get functional titles like "the ex", "the sister", "the jerk in high school" etc. It seems that in my head, this was a way I subconsciously tried to distance myself from trauma that other people caused and the anger I created in response to the trauma.
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Default Jan 23, 2022 at 04:21 PM
  #24
I called them A,B,C and referred to places as Blackacre, Greenacre, etc. The woman pretended not to understand or she is an idiot and was telling the truth - but I doubt she cared one way or the other.

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