FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
|
View Poll Results: How do you refer to others when talking about them in a session? | ||||||
Everyone is referred to with their names | 12 | 37.50% | ||||
|
||||||
Everyone is referred some defining attribute | 4 | 12.50% | ||||
|
||||||
It depends on the person | 12 | 37.50% | ||||
|
||||||
It depends on the therapist or state of therapy | 4 | 12.50% | ||||
|
||||||
Voters: 32. You may not vote on this poll |
Reply |
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
given |
#21
My current therapist doesn't seem to remember names, so I just refer to them by their relationship to me. That feels better than having to remind her that x is my sister every time she comes up.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
13 3,133 hugs
given |
#22
In my family of origin it was dangerous to get too close to anyone so I usually had three names I would refer to people by. By giving them three names my mother assumed they were different people and didn't get jealous. So I still tend to do that out of habit. Then there is another odd quirk I have... In high school and college I had a lot of dual relationships with faculty and sometimes their title would change in the time I knew them... so my gym teacher from HS was Mrs H, Ms K and Mrs M. I still refer to as what ever name she was using at the time I am talking about her. So my freshman year she is Mrs H... but then when we get to my Sr year I call her Mrs M. Or my college math prof... was prof P, Dr P and then J when we were not on campus. I gave poor T a chart once I trusted him enough and he still can't keep up. Some sessions are "yeh, Mrs H, K, M , that gym teacher from HS... well she... and T just looks at me funny.
I also have a friend who "was" male when I met him (he didn't feel safe coming out) then transitioned... so old stories I use the male pronoun and then in current stories I use her actual pronoun. Art T thinks she keeps up with all the people and the names but I just laugh. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Apr 2021
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 315
3 58 hugs
given |
#23
It depends, but it depends less on the therapist/state of therapy than on the impact the person has in my life. My first T noticed that people who are important to me in a positive way, get a name and a relationship identifier in both conversation and Journaling (ie my daughter Jane, my son Joe, my neighbor Mary). People who created trauma get functional titles like "the ex", "the sister", "the jerk in high school" etc. It seems that in my head, this was a way I subconsciously tried to distance myself from trauma that other people caused and the anger I created in response to the trauma.
|
Reply With Quote |
underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,730
(SuperPoster!)
12 1 hugs
given |
#24
I called them A,B,C and referred to places as Blackacre, Greenacre, etc. The woman pretended not to understand or she is an idiot and was telling the truth - but I doubt she cared one way or the other.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
Reply With Quote |