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Erecura
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Default Nov 14, 2021 at 01:17 PM
  #1
I've been thinking about going into therapy, but when I hear other people's stories, I feel like my issues are laughable. I've been treated for depression and anxiety in the past, but it's never been anything major. I feel like a drama queen when thinking about seeking help and maybe I am...

I'm at a really good place at work right now, I have good relationships with my coworkers. I'm even getting some recognition for my art work and might pursue that path as well. I have my close friends, I have a partner for over 5 years and we live together and a family that supports me. Usually people see me as very well put together, some even have said that they envy me how I seem to have everything figured out. And it's true... I have everything figured out, I know exactly what I want from life and I try extremely hard to get it.

At the same time... I can't stop feeling like I'm noot good enough for any of that. Like I'm a failure but nobody can really see it. I still push myself really hard to be better but nothing feels like enough. And not only for myself, none feels like enough. I always feel like there is something imperfect that needs to be changed and done differently and it always makes me doubt everything. I can't really enjoy anything that I do, but I do it because I want to prove to myself and everyone esle that I am good enough and even better. But at the same time, it all feels totally empty and meaningless. I push myself and I push and push and everytime I feel like I get pushed right back to being imperfect and weak and I hate myself for it.

But if someone would ask if I struggle at work, in relationships or in my private life, no I don't... everything's perfect, I just really hate it and can't get any pleasure out of it and I don't know why.
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Default Nov 14, 2021 at 01:39 PM
  #2
These sound like well fitting issues for you to explore in therapy. You can try it and stop if you don't like it. Part of the mental health culture in the UK is that therapy is intended for those who are really struggling and have "real" problems. Therapy can also be about exploration of your place in the world, of your relationships, as well as your internal experiences and other existential considerations.

It's worth spending some time working out the kind of therapy to which you are attracted. Person centred is dominant in the UK, but give a thought to other therapies such as existential, gestalt, core process, etc. Also be picky when you choose a therapist. Their individual style and approach will differ greatly and has a huge impact on your experience in the room with them.
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Default Nov 14, 2021 at 01:44 PM
  #3
Even though my situation is a bit different, I'll say that before I started therapy, I thought my issues were by far not severe enough to even really require treatment. Now, I was self-harming and suicidal and think most people would probably disagree with that opinion, but even then, what seems small to you can be a huge deal to others. If you feel talking to somebody might help, I'd say try it! The worst thing that can happen is that after a few different therapists (as comrademoomoo has mentioned, different styles and different therapists can influence your experience) you'll not want to continue, there's nothing to lose really.
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Default Nov 14, 2021 at 04:49 PM
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I can't really enjoy anything that I do [...] it all feels totally empty and meaningless
I don't see how you can view these 'issues' as laughable or meaningless. There is a real struggle here and a non-negligible one at that too.
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Default Nov 15, 2021 at 09:57 PM
  #5
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Originally Posted by Rive. View Post
I don't see how you can view these 'issues' as laughable or meaningless. There is a real struggle here and a non-negligible one at that too.
Agreed, especially if you have a history of depression/anxiety.
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Default Nov 15, 2021 at 10:43 PM
  #6
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Originally Posted by Erecura View Post
when I hear other people's stories, I feel like my issues are laughable. I've been treated for depression and anxiety in the past, but it's never been anything major. I feel like a drama queen when thinking about seeking help and maybe I am...
[…]
But if someone would ask if I struggle at work, in relationships or in my private life, no I don't... everything's perfect, I just really hate it and can't get any pleasure out of it and I don't know why.
Other people’s stories are totally irrelevant to your question.

You can either try to alleviate your misery or not. That’s the only choice you get to make. It’s not a zero-sum game, where if you become less unhappy, someone worse off becomes more unhappy. That’s just not how it works. Happiness isn’t a pie that can only be sliced so many ways.

Also your assertion that everything’s perfect… do you mean that you have no relationships in which you can talk about what’s wrong or that you truly believe everything to be perfect? Each possibility sounds deeply miserable and oppressive in its own way. How could everything be okay in your personal life if the people closest to you don’t know that you’re suffering? That’s not okay.

It sounds like you could really benefit from a place to figure out why you’re so unhappy. It sounds like this hard time could be the beginning of something lighter, freer, more real and happier. I wish that for you.
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Default Nov 20, 2021 at 07:36 PM
  #7
You sound like the perfect patient for a therapist. Your issues need exploration because they are causing you discomfort and probably affecting your peace of mind. I think you should go for it!

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