Seeing Another Therapist

I am having an issue with my current therapist and I’d like to talk about it with another therapist before I bring it up to current T.
Has anyone ever done this? Would you tell your current T before seeing consulting T?

Thanks

I have done it, no I didn't tell my current T.

It's awkward really, my experience was that the other T was keen to not 'blame' the one I had an issue with, because I guess therapists sort of stick up for each other and imagine if it was them in that situation they wouldn't want to be seen in a bad light. Not that it should put you off or anything, depends on the issue I guess?

I’m actually not looking to blame my current T for anything. I’m just looking to figure out the words to use when I bring it up to her. Like a sounding board.

I've done this. I did not tell my current T in advance, but told him after I saw the other T. He said he was OK with it, but would have preferred if I'd told him first. He's also said he's fine with me consulting with other T's in general, but, again, prefers to be told first.

I think it depends on your relationship with your current T. Do you think that if you mentioned your plans to consult with another T, they'd forbid it? There's the saying of "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission." So it could be easier to just tell your T afterward as opposed to before--or is there even a need to tell your T at all? Just something to consider.

I did find the consultation to be helpful, incidentally.

Most Ts here in the UK (in my experience) won't see you if they know you are already working with someone. Personally I don't agree with the fairly blanket rule, but it is what I have experienced.

I would do it but would not tell either therapist. First - I will hire anyone I want and their idiotic and self-serving stance is not one I feel compelled to go along with and second - I don't consider it any of their business. IF I did tell them, I would not give either of them the name of the other

In response to what Waterbear said, I *did* tell the T I was consulting with that I was seeing another T and just wanted consultation from her. I told her that before the actual session to make sure she was OK with it. So I'd suggest doing that, especially because you were going to talk about stuff with your T.

I’m with Stopdog on this one. You owe your T their hourly rate and the courtesy of showing up or cancelling on time. The only things I “should” tell a T are things I choose to tell them. The therapy relationship is not a monogamous marriage. You employ the T and you don’t have to ask their permission to go about living your life as you see fit… which may include consulting other professionals about anything.

I do think that its worth describing to potential outside T what you want to see them for because if they’re going to be weird about it, maybe you don’t want to see them.

I haven't done this but if wanted to do so, it would be my decision (my time and my money). I would go see another T to discuss whatever and for however long I wanted to. You don't have to tell T1 anything if you don't want to. It's up to you.

Also, some Ts are iffy when their clients want to consult with another T (unless it is a specialised area of expertise that this other T offers). So why invite any potential aggravation..

I’ve been seeing my current T for 5 years. We have covered a lot of ground. The one problem I still struggle with, and have with many other therapists is attachment/mother transference and obsessing about therapy. I have talked with my therapist over and over about this and though I have gotten some relief I still struggle with it
However now I’m afraid to bring it up anymore. I get the feeling, based on things she has said, that she feels I should be past all this. She has said ‘what good is it doing you?’ Which is true but not helpful.

So I want to talk with another therapist to find the words and feelings T’s to express to my current T so she can maybe get a better understanding of how I feel.

To be clear , I know all my feelings and reactions to her are based on old stuff. And she’s paying for the sins of previous therapists. But ‘knowing’ doesn’t wipe it all away.

Because I’m getting frustrated I’ve started going every other week and have even canceled appointments.

I do t want this relationship to end on a bad note so I’m looking for someone, very short term to help me figure out how to talk with current T.

I've consulted T when I had a rupture with L. It was just one session. L knew that I was going to consult with T. And it was very helpful. She pointed out where we weren't focusing on something that needed attention, and that I was getting two scenarios mixed up.

I had a similar issue with my previous T. She reacted more empathically than what you’re describing but still didn’t really understand the impact of the transference on our relationship. Actually I didn’t fully understand it either until she retired and I got a new T.

Suddenly I don’t have those feelings and I can just… talk to her. It’s kind of a game changer. I wish I’d been able to process some of this with old T, maybe another perspective in real time would have been helpful.