Does your therapist ever ‘check in’ with you between sessions

KLL85 · Dec 01, 2021 at 12:32 PM

I was having a conversation with someone about therapy yesterday and the topic of contact between sessions came up. She mentioned that if she has had a particularly difficult session, or has left a bit upset or has made herself vulnerable by sharing important stuff, her T often sends her a short text to let her know she is in her thoughts and that she hopes that she is ok. It never develops in to a full blown conversation, she just responds with a smiley face emoji and that’s it.
It got me thinking about how common this is, does anyone else’s T do this?

LonesomeTonight · Dec 01, 2021 at 12:48 PM

None of mine ever have. My current T will sometimes remind me that it's fine to check in if we touched on a topic that he knows I tend to be anxious about. But it would be up to me to initiate that after session.

Sometimes I do wish he checked in. However, I also feel like that could cause issues, if there was a time I really wanted/needed him to check in, but then he didn't. I also think it's been good for me to learn to ask for what I need (and he does always reply).

ChickenNoodleSoup · Dec 01, 2021 at 12:57 PM

No. I have to reach out first. I'm personally glad that he doesn't do that, it might trigger me at a time where it's not good for me, might make me angry when he wouldn't do it once, and in general for some reason it would be crossing my boundaries.

Nammu · Dec 01, 2021 at 01:08 PM

No. But then most of my therapy was before cell phone and emails. My last T had email but it was just for cancellation and making appointments. If things were difficult during a session she’d try to schedule in an extra session. But it was hard because she was booked months out. But no. I was responsible for my own mental health.

smileygal · Dec 01, 2021 at 01:40 PM

No, my T would never check in with me between sessions. I think for many T's any contact would need to be initiated by the client first and then a response would be something that may or may not happen depending on the T's boundaries and what has been discussed previously.

When I read this I initially thought I would love for my T to check in with me as it would show they had thought of me but actually I don't think I would. It could bring up some problems like others mentioned although I do think any problems could be discussed and worked through.

velcro003 · Dec 01, 2021 at 01:44 PM

My regular T has never initiated contact that I can remember, but I can email, call or text in between sessions if needed.

With my art T, we came to an agreement where I check in over the weekend. On a particular difficult weekend, she did initiate contact,

I really appreciate my T’s for being so flexible in between sessions.

Lonelyinmyheart · Dec 01, 2021 at 02:23 PM

I've seen my T for over two years and she has a handful of times and always when something upsetting was discussed or revealed and she felt it her duty of care to check in. Otherwise she will leave it up to me to make contact if needed.

Rive. · Dec 01, 2021 at 02:27 PM

That is not common at all in my experience. For my T, I don't exist in-between sessions.

Lostislost · Dec 01, 2021 at 03:01 PM

My T does, not really a check in but more like sending me something relevant or a picture or something. I'm glad he does.

Mountaindewed · Dec 01, 2021 at 03:56 PM

My old T used to do it but then it just started becoming a transfernce and countertransfernce issue and then boundaries got messed up and the check ins stopped.

What most people do that I meet with is they ask a random question when I first walk in, ususlly about the weather or a comment about something I'm wearing so they can get an idea of what kind of mood I am in based on my tone and answer to their question.

Waterbear · Dec 01, 2021 at 06:09 PM

No, she never did. I was always the one to initiate contact.

ScarletPimpernel · Dec 01, 2021 at 06:21 PM

L does. Daily. It's not so much a check-in, but more of a reassurance. She'll simply say "I am here" and then some other little thing like "I'm thinking of you". This started because of the pandemic. I told her I'd like to end it in January, but I might change it to February. I'll still be able to initiate emails with her, but she'll just stop initiating the reminder ones.

Taylor27 · Dec 01, 2021 at 06:51 PM

Yes she does when im having a tough time and if I phone her between sessions she gets back to me

*Beth* · Dec 01, 2021 at 07:34 PM

If I'm having an especially challenging time my T will call me. She sometimes replies to emails, or she'll call rather than do the email thing.

stopdog · Dec 01, 2021 at 09:11 PM

No - they did not. I would have hated it if they had. The therapist must stay out of my real life. I would find such a thing unforgivable and intrusive.

smileygal · Dec 01, 2021 at 10:08 PM

I find it so surprising that so many T's initiate contact and check in with people between sessions. I can see how it might be helpful for some. My T would now allow a check in unless I was in absolute crisis which now makes me sad.

nottrustin · Dec 02, 2021 at 12:07 AM

My long term therapist did a check in once. I was waiting for some test results on a mass my dr had located. My therapist knowing how scared I was texted me after a few days to see if the results were in. They were not. When I received the message I was out districting myself so it brought my anxiety back to the forefront. I know it was not her intention and appreciated that she cared and a bit nervous for me.

ArtleyWilkins · Dec 02, 2021 at 10:30 AM

No. That would have been intrusive honestly.

The only times we ever did anything like a daily check in were when I was in severe crisis and I was on the verge of hospitalization, but it was something we agreed to for that specific week, etc.

I knew how to pick up the phone and call him if I needed help. Otherwise, it was important for me to be able to function without him between sessions. Too much reliance seems like it can hold a person back from independently using their own resources to find ways to cope.

Fuzzybear · Dec 12, 2021 at 10:35 AM

Most of them? No..

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Does your therapist ever ‘check in’ with you between sessions

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ChickenNoodleSoup Grand Poohbah Member Since Apr 2017 Location: In a land far far away Posts: 1,575 7 1,305 hugs given	Dec 01, 2021 at 12:57 PM #3 No. I have to reach out first. I'm personally glad that he doesn't do that, it might trigger me at a time where it's not good for me, might make me angry when he wouldn't do it once, and in general for some reason it would be crossing my boundaries.
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velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Dec 01, 2021 at 01:44 PM #6 My regular T has never initiated contact that I can remember, but I can email, call or text in between sessions if needed. With my art T, we came to an agreement where I check in over the weekend. On a particular difficult weekend, she did initiate contact, I really appreciate my T’s for being so flexible in between sessions.
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Lonelyinmyheart Poohbah Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 1,093 4 1,732 hugs given	Dec 01, 2021 at 02:23 PM #7 I've seen my T for over two years and she has a handful of times and always when something upsetting was discussed or revealed and she felt it her duty of care to check in. Otherwise she will leave it up to me to make contact if needed.
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Rive. Magnate Member Since Sep 2013 Posts: 2,014 10	Dec 01, 2021 at 02:27 PM #8 That is not common at all in my experience. For my T, I don't exist in-between sessions.
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Lostislost Veteran Member Member Since May 2020 Location: Uk Posts: 557 3 890 hugs given	Dec 01, 2021 at 03:01 PM #9 My T does, not really a check in but more like sending me something relevant or a picture or something. I'm glad he does.
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Waterbear Magnate Member Since Feb 2016 Location: England Posts: 2,408 8 1,316 hugs given	Dec 01, 2021 at 06:09 PM #11 No, she never did. I was always the one to initiate contact.
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Taylor27 healing from trauma Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Alberta Posts: 30,425 (SuperPoster!) 6 24.3k hugs given	Dec 01, 2021 at 06:51 PM #13 Yes she does when im having a tough time and if I phone her between sessions she gets back to me
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Dec 01, 2021 at 07:34 PM #14 If I'm having an especially challenging time my T will call me. She sometimes replies to emails, or she'll call rather than do the email thing. __________________
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smileygal Member Member Since May 2017 Location: London UK Posts: 224 6 5 hugs given	Dec 01, 2021 at 10:08 PM #16 I find it so surprising that so many T's initiate contact and check in with people between sessions. I can see how it might be helpful for some. My T would now allow a check in unless I was in absolute crisis which now makes me sad.
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,326 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Dec 12, 2021 at 10:35 AM #19 Most of them? No.. __________________
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