Couch 234: Ready, Set, Go!

LonesomeTonight · Dec 16, 2021 at 08:20 PM

Glad Visa was helpful.

stopdog · Dec 16, 2021 at 09:38 PM

I have read the Ugly American. Is she trying to show you that entitled jerks exist everywhere? It is about American diplomatic corps in a fictional country. They are loud, obnoxious, and arrogant - they isolate themselves from the local people and don't try to learn or understand them. There are a couple of characters who are not like that.

MobiusPsyche · Dec 16, 2021 at 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

A couple days ago I contacted Visa and asked for any free spots that might come up between now and my next appointment. She had one today.

It was useful. She’s growing on me. I like how she either avoids the usual therapist claptrap and BS or at least manages and bothers to make it sound new and original.

Also I don’t think she could double book, given the online scheduling system she uses.

Still trying to figure out why she recommended I read “The Ugly American,” though. Anyone read that book?

Sorry. I thought I could help but it was Greene's The Quiet American that I read recently--it was quite good, actually. In terms of literary merit, Greene seems to definitely outshine, from what I've gleaned.

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ArtieTheSequal · Dec 16, 2021 at 09:50 PM

I'm glad Visa was useful, @@.

stopdog · Dec 16, 2021 at 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MobiusPsyche

Sorry. I thought I could help but it was Greene's The Quiet American that I read recently--it was quite good, actually. In terms of literary merit, Greene seems to definitely outshine, from what I've gleaned.

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I think I read that the ugly american title was a joke based on Greene's Quiet American

velcro003 · Dec 16, 2021 at 10:13 PM

So sorry Scarlet. What a terrible time to lose a job

SK--I would be baffled too if my T didn't respond to my texts about an appt, especially since she initiated it! I hope you hear back from her soon.

My eldest cat Jack has lost his voice, and I hope he is okay. He has been eating still, so I am holding off on calling the vet. I can't wait too long because I am going out of town next week, and there is no way I could do it knowing I had a sick cat at home

ArtieTheSequal · Dec 16, 2021 at 10:33 PM

Hugs, Velcro. I hope Jack is okay. I wish Rascal had somehow let us know he wasn't feeling well before we left on Saturday... we would not have left either.

unaluna · Dec 16, 2021 at 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I have read the Ugly American. Is she trying to show you that entitled jerks exist everywhere? It is about American diplomatic corps in a fictional country. They are loud, obnoxious, and arrogant - they isolate themselves from the local people and don't try to learn or understand them. There are a couple of characters who are not like that.

But, but... @@, Marlon Brando

can we have a movie night instead of reading the book?

atisketatasket · Dec 16, 2021 at 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

But, but... @@, Marlon Brando

can we have a movie night instead of reading the book?

I could read it to you as a bedtime story?

Or we could act it out for you?

At least she didn’t recommend The Highly Sensitive Person or some such.

velcro003 · Dec 16, 2021 at 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Hugs, Velcro. I hope Jack is okay. I wish Rascal had somehow let us know he wasn't feeling well before we left on Saturday... we would not have left either.

Yeah, it’s so hard with cats, bc they try and hide their pain. My vet told me that with cats they can seem fine, but the. suddenly go downhill. that is all i worry about now. He’s 13. and i’m flying out next week. i don’t know if i can do it a a sick cat.

ScarletPimpernel · Dec 16, 2021 at 11:46 PM

I just wrote a letter for H begging for his job back... Let's see if that works. It's a bad job, they disrespect him to the point of abuse, they don't pay him enough, but it does bring in some income. Part of me hopes he gets his job back so we have some income, but another part of me doesn't because I want him to take looking for a better job more seriously.

Thankfully, L is reducing her fee by 50% next month AND she's finished writing her part for the single case agreement.

ScarletPimpernel · Dec 16, 2021 at 11:48 PM

Velcro and Artie - I'm sorry about your cats.

I know how precious pets are. I still miss my Fruit. I wait to hear her beg for food every night or to say good morning to her and let her out of her cage.

NP_Complete · Dec 17, 2021 at 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I just wrote a letter for H begging for his job back... Let's see if that works. It's a bad job, they disrespect him to the point of abuse, they don't pay him enough, but it does bring in some income. Part of me hopes he gets his job back so we have some income, but another part of me doesn't because I want him to take looking for a better job more seriously.

Thankfully, L is reducing her fee by 50% next month AND she's finished writing her part for the single case agreement.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but your husband doesn't really have a stellar record here. He's frivolous with money when he has it and doesn't have a steady employment record. It seems like you view this situation as you're just along for the ride and when the ship sinks, you have no control and you're going down with it. Can I gently suggest that you rethink that mindset and work towards becoming more of a master of your own fate? I don't know how long it's been since you've been employed, but can you look into re-entering the workforce? You might qualify for some financial aid to go to school if you need to freshen up your skills. Or look into temp work. So many places are looking for employees right now. I think you'd feel more empowered in life if you weren't subject to whatever BS financial decisions your husband is making at the time or whatever he's doing to lose jobs (if it's his fault, which it might be).

ArtieTheSequal · Dec 17, 2021 at 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Velcro and Artie - I'm sorry about your cats.

I know how precious pets are. I still miss my Fruit. I wait to hear her beg for food every night or to say good morning to her and let her out of her cage.

Thanks Scarlet.

I thought I saw Rascal out the corner of my eye last night, that was hard. This evening when I fed the other two, and realized I didn't have to do an insulin injection I got a little lump in my throat.

Thankful that Stormy (Rascal's brother) seems to be doing fine in his absence. I'm realizing after the fact that Rascal passing at home like he did probably helped Stormy too - he must 'know' or sense or something, and isn't looking for his brother. Like I imagine he would be if we had taken Rascal alive to the vet and then not brought him back home.

I think I found the picture that h wants to print and hang on a wall so I need to get that done.

ArtieTheSequal · Dec 17, 2021 at 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by velcro003

Yeah, it’s so hard with cats, bc they try and hide their pain. My vet told me that with cats they can seem fine, but the. suddenly go downhill. that is all i worry about now. He’s 13. and i’m flying out next week. i don’t know if i can do it a a sick cat.

sending hugs, velcro. i wish our vet had told us that.

ArtieTheSequal · Dec 17, 2021 at 06:58 AM

Why are nights so hard sometimes? I've been awake since about 3:45am my time and can't go back to sleep. My brain is in a constant loop of beating myself up for leaving Rascal in the first place, then for putting my son in that position (he was taking care of him for us) the guilt for both things keeps taking turns with a big hammer banging against my heart trying to completely break it. I don't know how to forgive myself. I'm sure my son will never forgive me either and that hurts even more than the rest. I keep telling myself that we didn't know how sick Rascal really was, the vet didn't even know, so how were we supposed to know? But it's not helping. I know there's no answers here.

ArtieTheSequal · Dec 17, 2021 at 07:03 AM

I'm gonna go try to find something to watch on TV.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 17, 2021 at 07:29 AM

Hugs, Artie. I tend to have a lot of trouble sleeping, too, which mainly shows itself as being awake for stretches in the middle of the night. It's difficult to turn my mind off once it starts. I do sometimes use a sleep meditation that's available in the FitBit Premium app, but I'm sure there are free ones available on YouTube (or one of those other meditation apps). That helps sometimes.

MobiusPsyche · Dec 17, 2021 at 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Why are nights so hard sometimes? I've been awake since about 3:45am my time and can't go back to sleep. My brain is in a constant loop of beating myself up for leaving Rascal in the first place, then for putting my son in that position (he was taking care of him for us) the guilt for both things keeps taking turns with a big hammer banging against my heart trying to completely break it. I don't know how to forgive myself. I'm sure my son will never forgive me either and that hurts even more than the rest. I keep telling myself that we didn't know how sick Rascal really was, the vet didn't even know, so how were we supposed to know? But it's not helping. I know there's no answers here.

Artie, there is nothing for your son to forgive. Truly. I'm sure he loved Rascal, and he will miss him, but this wound will heal. He understands that you didn't say, "oh, it looks like Rascal is doing really poorly, let's skip town and leave Son to deal with it by himself." That being the case, there is nothing to forgive.

Even if there were some wrongdoing here, it is just not accurate to believe that your son "will never forgive you." You didn't stand up at his wedding and call his new wife a wh0re or drive drunk with his baby in the car or set his house on fire or do anything truly awful!!!

Like you say, you didn't know there was anything wrong with Rascal. You need to forgive yourself, because I'm sure Rascal is not holding a grudge against you or your husband now. He's at peace. And as someone else said, it may have eased the process for him. Give yourself some grace and remember all the good times you had with Rascal, and honor his memory.

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MobiusPsyche · Dec 17, 2021 at 08:31 AM

I tried to quote LT, but it wasn't working. Anyway, I like meditations by Michael Sealey on YouTube. His voice is so relaxing! They are quite long, but that's okay if I fall asleep midway, all to the good!

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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,739 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Dec 16, 2021 at 08:20 PM #21 Glad Visa was helpful.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,224 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,756 hugs given	Dec 16, 2021 at 09:50 PM #24 I'm glad Visa was useful, @@.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,224 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,756 hugs given	Dec 16, 2021 at 10:33 PM #27 Hugs, Velcro. I hope Jack is okay. I wish Rascal had somehow let us know he wasn't feeling well before we left on Saturday... we would not have left either.

ScarletPimpernel Wise Elder Member Since Nov 2013 Location: US Posts: 8,407 (SuperPoster!) 10 6,403 hugs given	Dec 16, 2021 at 11:48 PM #32 Velcro and Artie - I'm sorry about your cats. I know how precious pets are. I still miss my Fruit. I wait to hear her beg for food every night or to say good morning to her and let her out of her cage. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,224 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,756 hugs given	Dec 17, 2021 at 07:03 AM #37 I'm gonna go try to find something to watch on TV.