Couch 234: Ready, Set, Go!

Are you going to be knocked out for it?

As I was leaving for today's session, I shoved a tampon in my jacket pocket, you know, just in case I needed it in the 1.5 hours I'd be away from home. As I was walking back to my car after session, I noticed it was gone. I didn't see it in the hallway and I didn't see it in my car so I immediately went to worst case scenario that it was in his couch or under the chair in his (very small, 2 chairs and a bench) waiting room. Although we've talked openly about periods, we've never had show-and-tell about it and that felt mortifying. So I decided to email him and apologize if he'd found this cursed item in his space. Cut to hours later, when I went to my car to get something. Guess what was behind the driver's seat. Now I feel doubly humiliated.

I hate that menstruation still feels like a taboo subject in this day and age.

If it makes you feel better, NP, my mom and her husband recently asked to use my bathroom when they picked up their dog, whom I had been sitting. I couldn't very well say no, though I did try to discourage by indicating (truthfully) that I have no toilet paper since I always use my bidet toilet seat. Anyway, not only were they exposed to my extremely messy house, but I recalled I had left my (clean) menstrual cup on the sink. My dog had also snuck into the bathroom and made a deposit on the bath mat which, to be fair, he thinks is a pee pad.

They also dried their hands with the towel I use to dry myself after using the bidet. I didn't tell them that, though.

Hugs and headnods all around as appropriate/wanted/needed.


couple hours into my 6th day there's a rumor our 2 hours of OT are being cancelled today o i hope it is true!

NP, menstruation is also, for some reason, one of the most difficult topics for me to bring up with my (male) T. I give more TMI warnings to him (or apologies like, "I'm sorry this is gross") when talking about that than anything else (had to bring it up due to some issues with it earlier this year), even sex. He seems fine talking about it and tries to make me feel more comfortable with it. It's like I have some sort of shame about what's a completely normal thing (I give my H TMI warnings, too).

I'm sure your T was fine with it and not horrified or anything. I'd likely have done the same if I thought I'd dropped a tampon in his office.

And this makes me think of a time in early high school when I'd put a menstrual pad in my pocket for next time I went to the bathroom, then it fell out onto the floor in the middle of class. I wanted to die of embarrassment.

L accidentally dropped a pad on the floor before our session. She didn't see it until after session. I didn't see it either. But she apologized for it being there. I told her that it was fine. That in fact it made me feel better to know that she too has periods. (Growing up, no one females in the house had periods when I started). I like when she tells me about normal bodily functions. Makes it easier for me to accept and talk about.

I also really do hate how it's still a taboo subject. I feel like it's natural and it's nothing to be embarrassed about, yet I'm still embarrassed by it.

I think part of it is I don't want to make someone else uncomfortable. My therapist doesn't seem phased by it at all. The first time I ever brought it up, he told me something to the effect of there were women in his life that he loved and they had periods too, which was a lovely sentiment.

Another thing is that my ex, like a lot of men, would weaponize my period. Are you angry at me? Oh you must be on the rag. It's so infuriating when you're not taken seriously because you're a woman and you have fluctuating hormone levels. It makes you want to hide from them where you're at in your cycle.

Also, just because I shouldn't feel ashamed about it, I just don't need everyone to know when I'm on my period. It's natural, but it's also kind of private. Although I shouldn't need to tuck my tampon up my sleeve as I walk to the bathroom at work, it's also none of my coworkers business.

That's really difficult and I hope it goes well. I avoided the dentist for around 15 years. Then opted for general anesthesia for the impacted teeth because I have so much dental anxiety.

If you reddit, r/wisdomteeth is supportive.

Yes, but i am really worried about the recovery and pain. Besides getting my tonsils out when I was 4, i’ve never had surgery. And I don’t remember that.
Thanks. I will definitely check it out!

The worst pain for me actually turned out to be from muscle spasms caused by having my mouth held that wide open for so long. My oral surgeon showed me a simple exercise that took care of it at the followup appointment. I wish he had told me beforehand - I would definitely ask yours about this! It's hard to describe, but it's basically opening your mouth really wide, then kind of swinging your lower jaw loosely from side to side.

ETA - Also, I have no memory of the actual procedure. Had percocet afterwards - the muscle spasms just started bothering me before I could take another dose. I think I would have been fine otherwise.

I suddenly felt hungry and stuffed like 6 thin mints down my gullet. I don't quite regret eating them except I wish I had eaten them more slowly so I could really enjoy them. Oh well.

I hope it goes well, Velcro. I have a dental phobia and know at some point I'll likely have to get my bottom wisdom teeth out (impacted), but terrified of it. So I get it.

I love my nieces, but man are they a handful! I had to watch them for 4 hours. H and my dad were home, but they were of no use, and when they tried to help, they made it worse. H doesn't know how to interact with children, and my dad cared more about his dog than letting the kids be kids. For example, one noticed a sore on the dog's arm and tried telling my dad she needs a bandaid. My dad corrected her and told her he needed to puncture it with a needle... to a 2 year old!

I love their honesty too. My sister asked the 4 year old if she was good for me, and she said in a sad voice "no". Like how can you be mad at that! I do love getting to be with them.

My little cousin is quite a handful at the moment. At Christmas, she urinated on the front lawn. Right next to the mailbox. I thought my aunt (who is her grandma) was going to have a coronary.

I feel crappy today. I want to leave work and just go home and sleep or something but I did that last week and next week I am supposed to take off two days so I really don't feel like I should push the envelope but I need a mental health day so bad. The days next week are to go to my sister's for her birthday. I am contemplating not going but then I will miss seeing my sis. I could text Julieanne but what is she supposed to do about me feeling crappy. So I came to whine on here. I don't feel like SH-ing so that's good. It's more of a bone weariness and a boredom thing and a I can't sit still thing. Which would seem to be at odds with me wanting to sleep but I rested my head on my desk and I could feel myself being inclined to sleep so I made myself sit up because it would be very bad to sleep at work.


But on the bright side, I ordered some girl scout cookies. One of the coworkers sent an email around because her grand niece is selling them online this year. So yeah for Thin Mints and the other kind I got which is new this year, the Adventurefuls or something like that. Anyway. They look delicious. It will probably take four weeks to get here but at least I have delicious cookies to look forward to. Yeah Girl Scout Season!

That is nice, what your T said.

I'm sorry your ex-H was so awful about that. Something Dr. T said about PMS stuck with me. I said how I was feeling at a particular time was probably just PMS, implying that it didn't count. He said the feelings are still real, even if they're partly influenced by hormones.

Yeah, I was really, really hesitant to talk to P about my hormones' effect on my mood. I was so scared he was going to invalidate all my feelings and issues and chalk them all up to hormones. Trauma from the fire? Hormones. Angry at your mom? Hormones. Why is she crying today? Must be hormones. Which is dumb, because of course he's not going to do that, but I was still paranoid about it. Sometimes I forget he's not an AH like some people in my life have been.

(I'm confused about whether that apostrophe should be there or not, but it feels right, so I'm leaving it.)

That apostrophe is appropriate, NP.

(Creative writing tutor and poet here.)

I put some clothes on in preparation to leave this house. I deserve a treat for going. A big bag of Smart Sweets Swedish Fish AND some dried mango.

LT and NP, I believe you're both vegetarians, right? Have you tried the new beyond fried chicken nuggets from KFC? They are kind of expensive but still really curious.

Small steps...well done! I hope you are able to get everything you need.