[atisketatasket]

Just curious after an experience earlier this week. Poll coming.

[ScarletPimpernel]

T double booked me three times in the four years we were together. She double booked our very first session. The second and third time she at least caught it before I showed up. Each time, I was the one that had to adjust. I was ready to dump her after the first time, but all my supports, I think even the forums, suggested that I give her a chance. I'm so glad I listened to everyone.

[LonesomeTonight]

I said once, but I think it would also depend if I "won" in the case of more than one. I think ex-T double-booked me once early on (this was like 8 years ago), but I said I could come later than day. Another time she did but let me be the one who stayed, while the other person rescheduled. Actually, I don't think that was a double-booking though--I think the other person was mistaken and had written the wrong time down. Dr. T has never double-booked me, though he said he has with past clients before.

I think much of it depends on the circumstances, past history, how apologetic they are, and how they make up for it in terms of whether I'd be willing to put up with it more than once (I figure everyone is granted one mistake). If it happened twice in 6 months, that's different from it happening twice in 5 years, say. Or if it happened at a time when I was in a really bad place and/or the T and I were in the midst of a rupture, it would be harder for me to move past it, even if it was only the one time.

[velcro003]

I put twice. The first one I would see as a mistake, even if it did hurt me. The second one would make me much more wary. Also, did it happen in close succession with the first? How did my T handle it? I've never been double booked, so I can't truly say how I'd feel. I guess that is one perk of always being the last client of the day.

[unaluna]

I have that tattooed on my wrist, "WWSdD?"

Its not a given number of times cutoff. Its more a matter of, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Where "twice" is where the shame curves cross on the graph. Where your self-awareness kicks in. " I can see clearly now, the pain is gone." Where it hurts more to stay than to go.

[Favorite Jeans]

It would make a big difference to me whether we scheduled a different time for each session or if I was always Monday at 10. If I had a standing appt for a long time and got double booked that would be harder to take.

This is exactly the sort of mistake I make all the time, organization is my kryptonite. While I’m very understanding about this sort of mistake, I try not to work with people who have the same problem spots as I do. I’ve found that it helps to work with people who have compassion for my difficulties without actually sharing them. So unless they were amazing in some unique way, I wouldn’t stick around with a T who did this more than once in a great while.

[stopdog]

It wouldn't bother me. Not because they were great or anything, just that I know I am not always very organized and could accidentally do such a thing. I had one judge that if my case was assigned to him -something goofy would happen. Maybe I just got used to showing up to court just to have things continued etc. Anyway, although I generally despise therapists, this action would not be the thing that caused me much concern. Plus think of all the ways to mess with them when they do it.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by unaluna

I have that tattooed on my wrist, "WWSdD?"

Its not a given number of times cutoff. Its more a matter of, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Where "twice" is where the shame curves cross on the graph. Where your self-awareness kicks in. " I can see clearly now, the pain is gone." Where it hurts more to stay than to go.

I would be more flattered if I understood the second para.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I would be more flattered if I understood the second para.

Actually i was just trying to honor the fact that @@ came pretty darn close to making a real joke.

[Mountaindewed]

The last time I met with my last therapist one of her clients showed up early and my T said that she was after me. But I was confused too because the session was just set up that morning. So I thought I was double booked. So I just stood awkwardly to the side while the 2 of them talked. Then my T saw me and gave me a real dirty look. I mean, I was just standing there because I didnt know if she had double booked. That was when I knew things werent working and I emailed her that night and asked if she knew of another thererapist and she ended up just firing me.

With the therapist before I moved a client showed up when it was my slot and I couldnt tell why my therapist looked so confused when she called my name or why she was walking me out when she never did and then she said to them "I'll be right with you." Like it was her fault they showed up early or something.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

It depends a bit I guess. I put once. If it was early on, I could let it slide without much issue. If it's my T that I've been seeing for 5 years and had always the same session time and day, I would at the very least freak out a lot, and depending on the explanation I couldn't even forgive once.
I'm generally very well organized and know my schedule. I can understand an honest mistake one time, but if it's more than once I'd just get stressed out way too much.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Actually i was just trying to honor the fact that @@ came pretty darn close to making a real joke.

I don’t make real jokes?

And I suppose the question is misleading. It’s not the amount of times (she’s done this twice in 4 1/2 years) that bothers me so much as she only realized 10 minutes in she was supposed to be somewhere else when her email went off, and I was already talking, and she just interrupted, said she had to go, and rushed off.

Yes, there was an apology and an offer to meet later in there, but she just clearly had no time to do anything other than dump me as fast as possible.

[ArtleyWilkins]

I said twice, but not back-to-back.

It actually only happened to me once, and my therapist was NOT happy about it. The secretary took care of the scheduling, and she honestly was fantastic, but there was that one time . . . .

Because it was such an unusual thing, and my therapist was quite good, so long as it was just a very occasional mixup, I'd probably let it go.

If the therapist was meh to start with, my patience would not be as strong.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I don’t make real jokes?

And I suppose the question is misleading...

Sorry, i thought we had a greek word for that but i cant find it now.

"How many times" is trying to apply a left brain logical solution to a right brain emotional issue. Like how much of a Pollock painting is enough?

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I don’t make real jokes?

And I suppose the question is misleading. It’s not the amount of times (she’s done this twice in 4 1/2 years) that bothers me so much as she only realized 10 minutes in she was supposed to be somewhere else when her email went off, and I was already talking, and she just interrupted, said she had to go, and rushed off.

Yes, there was an apology and an offer to meet later in there, but she just clearly had no time to do anything other than dump me as fast as possible.

If my T is sitting with me in a session for 10 minutes, then I expect that this is what he decided to do, no matter whether he forgot to be somewhere else. His phone rings almost every session, all he ever does is mute it, he never interrupts for it, if somebody knocks on the door (just happened once, another therapist in the same office), he acknowledges it but brushes them off...

I'd not even let actually checking the message slide unless if it hadn't been discussed prior to the session, right as I walk in. Let alone somebody then leaving or stopping the session. The only reason I could see would be an emergency call from family, but I'd expect that to be explained right away. One time my T had to cancel a session, his wife had to go to the hospital, he told me that straight up and that's okay, even though it sucks.

[ArtieTheSequal]

L only did it once that I know of, and it was after she'd moved to the other state and had forgotten about the time changing (because we don't go on daylight savings time in AZ). She may have done it other times but rescheduled the other person and not told me, no way of knowing.

I don't think I would be very forgiving at all (even of L whom we all know I adore) if she checked her email during a session (which is bad enough) and then interrupted me while I was already talking and said oops, nevermind I can't meet today after all I have to go meet with other therapists. If she was suddenly ill, or got an emergency call from a family member, that would be one thing but this would really irk me.

One time somebody knocked on her door during my session and she made sure I was okay with her answering it which of course I was just in case it was an emergency, excused herself, went and opened the door and pretty much told them off whoever it was. Definitely a side of her I'd never seen before! She has a sign on her door clearly indicating 'in session do not disturb'.

[Mountaindewed]

Oh yeah one time in 2016 I think I specifically went into the office that day because I had a therapy appointment and my therapist at the time said "sorry. I cant meet with you I have to get ready for a group." I got pretty pissed at her and gave her the slient treatment for a few days after. It was pretty unprofessional of her and she never legit apogolgized for it. Also one time another staff knocked on her door asking if she wanted chinese food and we were both like wtf why is she interrupting us.

I remember her bringing her kids with her a couple of times but she never seemed to have sessions or be doing any actual work that day so I dont know what the point of any of them being there was.

[velcro003]

Yeah, i don’t know how i would handle your situation, ATAT. Id be pissed and hurt and probably a bit bewildered. I hate confrontation, so i probably would be like “ok, see ya next time.” i don’t know if i could fire my T over it.

[Favorite Jeans]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I don’t make real jokes?

And I suppose the question is misleading. It’s not the amount of times (she’s done this twice in 4 1/2 years) that bothers me so much as she only realized 10 minutes in she was supposed to be somewhere else when her email went off, and I was already talking, and she just interrupted, said she had to go, and rushed off.

Yes, there was an apology and an offer to meet later in there, but she just clearly had no time to do anything other than dump me as fast as possible.

Dear lord. That would not go over well with me! I’m sorry that happened to you.

[*Beth*]

I would be quite angry, especially if I had a regular time slot.

[Omers]

I had one T double book me once… she took me back and rescheduled the other client… even at the time I had wished she rescheduled me… it threw me off too much to see someone else stand up when she came to the waiting area… and she said hi to them first. It was also clear she had prepped to see them not me. She worked at a clinic and handled most of her scheduling but the receptionist had done this one. They had lots of problems with that receptionist.

Art T I would deal with it exactly once… the next time I would use it as an excuse to walk away. But… it would be an excuse and I am looking for those with her.

Awesome T… if it happened with awesome T once I would be very worried. More than once and I would know beyond a doubt something was wrong. My concern for him as a person at that point would override his professional role in my life.

If I were a new client or in a busy clinic setting I would be more patient with it than I am as an established client working with providers in private practice.

[Omers]

oooh missed the clarification when I first responded. I would tolerate that once and only once unless it was a life and death family emergency.

So sorry that she has done this to you.

[SprinkL3]

I chose "never."

I have DID. Double-booking and then asking me to change schedules is extremely tough on me, given my condition. I would wonder if I dissociated and wasn't clear enough the last time we scheduled, or I would wonder why she bothered telling me she double-booked if I was the one who "won." If I was the one who "lost," I'd wonder if this would be a pattern, which would make my therapy counterproductive since the kind of therapy I need for my comorbidities comprise consistency from week to week (same day, same time every week). In my case right now, I see a T online through video twice a week - same days and same times every week. None of this weekly schedule changes crap. I can't handle that, and after many years of being frustrated and ghosting T's, I realized that I needed that boundary. So I asked for it, and some offered while others didn't. I chucked the ones who didn't and said, "Next!" It worked for me. Took some time, but it worked.

Everyone's different. Their needs are different. Some people can handle double-booking mistakes on an ongoing basis, whereas others just cannot.

[sarahsweets]

Nope. Not at al.