[comrademoomoo]

My therapist recently (unexpectedly, painfully, cravenly) ended my therapy via email. In her email, she gave me a referral to another therapist. Since I could not discuss this with my ex-therapist, I don't know anything about the referral therapist. I have emailed the referral and she has said she would work with me.

However, on reflection I want to explain more about my needs before I commit (emotionally and financially) to an initial session. I have written a draft email to the referral explaining my concerns/needs in more detail. I feel self-conscious that it is too detailed and exposing, but equally I want to be clear with her before I take the step of meeting her.

Would anyone be up for reading it and giving me their thoughts please? I am open to hearing negative as well as positive so don't feel you would need to sugar coat your feedback.

[downandlonely]

Sure, I'll read the email.

[*Beth*]

Yes, of course I'll read it - and give the best feedback I can. And perhaps you wrote about this in your email, but I'll mention it - many therapists offer an initial session at no charge. Might your referral therapist be willing to do that?

[LonesomeTonight]

I'd be up for reading it. I mean, I expressed something similar to Dr. T re:ex-MC (and also to a couple T's with whom I consulted about Dr. T), so I have experience!

[comrademoomoo]

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Yes, of course I'll read it - and give the best feedback I can. And perhaps you wrote about this in your email, but I'll mention it - many therapists offer an initial session at no charge. Might your referral therapist be willing to do that?

Yes, this would have been ideal. She was very clear in her reply that the initial session would be an assessment and what she would charge. If I work with her, I will ask for an ongoing concession rate. Thank you for your suggestion.

[Lostislost]

I can read it if you think my feedback would be useful at all. Sorry to hear your ex T treated you like that!

[*Beth*]

I've messaged you.

[Rive.]

I would be open.

May I just say - what a very un-gestalt way for your T to drop you. I am appalled. Is this the 'relational' your T has been trained in? The 'dialogue' and staying at the table that she was supposedly trained in. I am sorry she was such a jerk.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I don't mind either Comrade. I know you have a lot of offers already, and we don't always see eye to eye, but if you want a different perspective, I'm open. If not, I'm not offended either.

I have written and talked to Ts about my needs, wants, and goals before working with them. I find it very beneficial to just be upfront and honest. I don't go blurting out my secrets, but I do set my requirements and expectations from the start. It's one of the reasons L chose to work with me.

[ruh roh]

I'm not really around any more, but just wanted to say how gutting it is when a therapist ends things. I had one with the nerve to tell me I wanted to quit (she had some mad gaslighting moves, that one) and then wouldn't schedule me except for a final session--something you didn't even get and that's just all kinds of wrong. When I finally pulled myself together, I was very upfront with a prospective therapist--the only one, frankly, who returned my email and offered a free consultation on the phone. I laid it all out there, and she was still on the phone by the end of it. I was too raw and wounded to start again, so spent the first couple of years wailing about therapy as organized crime and she didn't wither. I wouldn't know what to advise you. Not getting a free consultation is a real racket. How do these people get away with that?

Hang in there.

[comrademoomoo]

Originally Posted by Rive.

I would be open.

May I just say - what a very un-gestalt way for your T to drop you. I am appalled. Is this the 'relational' your T has been trained in? The 'dialogue' and staying at the table that she was supposedly trained in. I am sorry she was such a jerk.

Thank you. Well, what can I say? She was Gestalt when it suited her, £uck me when it didn't. One of the many things which stings is that I had developed some trust that she was committed to the work with me, despite all the difficulty and ruptures. She did show herself to be there, until she wasn't.

[*Beth*]

How did it go, comrade?