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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
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#21
To make matters worse, I don't know exactly what I am going to talk about tonight in therapy. I have a vague sense of feeling depressed but it's going to be hard to put words to and I feel defeated so I don't think there is anything she or I can do about it anyway.
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LonesomeTonight
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Quietmind 2
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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#22
Una, thanks for the new couch! You are always so on top of that!
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unaluna
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unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
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Location: CA
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#23
I have a vague feeling of paranoia today too but it is hard to pinpoint. I'm not sure if it is real paranoia or hyped up anxiety. Not sure whether to take a PRN Xanax or a PRN Lybalvi. One is for anxiety, one is for Schizoaffective Disorder. Hmmm. I definitely can't take both. I made that mistake before and ended up like a Zombie. I could hardly walk straight because of the medication.
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Quietmind 2
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Always in This Twilight
LonesomeTonight
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#24
Quote:
Or with therapy, Dr. T has said positive things about me as a client, how I'm very engaged in the work, am always on time for session, am respectful of his boundaries, etc. But then, say, yesterday, when I walked right back to his office after I left to seek reassurance, I had the thought of "I must be his most annoying client ever." I think this would actually be a good thing to mention to your T, particularly as it could be a symptom of depression. |
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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117.7k hugs
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#25
Quote:
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LonesomeTonight
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Quietmind 2
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Poohbah
Quietmind 2
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#26
Quote:
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SlumberKitty
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
unaluna
Female luna moth - Please, dont @mention
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#27
Because if i were rightly rewarded, i would be president for all the initiative i've taken.
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Magnate
ElectricManatee
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#28
Quote:
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SlumberKitty
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AliceKate, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, Quietmind 2, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
unaluna
Female luna moth - Please, dont @mention
me?Thanks!
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,751
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#29
Manatee childhood parentification certainly applies to me. There was never any "doing together." It was, show me how, then i do it myself forever. Then eventually get made fun of for how i adapted it. Straight out of "How Not To Raise Children."
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ElectricManatee, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#30
Quote:
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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AliceKate, ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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ElectricManatee, Quietmind 2, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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117.7k hugs
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#31
I am feeling so agitated. I know it is part of the schizoaffective disorder, but I don't get agitation very often, not this bad at least. I couldn't decide if I was hyper anxious or feeling paranoid so I didn't know what PRN to take but I finally decided to take the Lybalvi which is for the Schizoaffective Disorder, and which has some calming properties. Except I am not feeling very calm. I am having some trouble "sitting with myself" and I feel like I need to move, which unfortunately I am at work. I can take a walk to the water cooler or something but it's not going to settle down the part that feels so agitated. I keep rubbing my face and my hands and I'm sure it looks really odd and I'm trying to stop but I feel compelled to do it. I think I am anxious at the same time which is a lot of thoughts in my head that are difficult to sort. I think I am paranoid some today too which might just be a magnification of the anxiety, or it might be it's own manifestation, so I am trying to not feel watched and spied upon, at the same time, realizing that I am anxious and feeling like some stuff is out of my control. I am having a hard time being me at the moment. It does not help that I have very little to do at work at the moment, though I might get more work later. So I am having trouble getting sufficiently distracted or focused, so the face rubbing and hand rubbing goes on. I am trying to do deep breathing and meditation and stuff that I know should help but I am having trouble completing it. So I am talking about it here, of course, hoping someone will relate.
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LostOnTheTrail
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#32
That's a lot to pay on top of what you're already paying her, Kit. Spending time setting up the session takes away from time that you could use to prepare for your appointment, or do self-care, or....
EM made some excellent points. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
SlumberKitty
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ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, Quietmind 2, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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117.7k hugs
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#33
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
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#34
Agitation is starting to feel a bit better. I'm still having it but it is lessening. I think the Lybalvi is helping the agitation but it's making my concentration crap.
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AliceKate
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Always in This Twilight
LonesomeTonight
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#35
Quote:
Some really good points here! |
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Quietmind 2
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Elder
RTerroni
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#36
Took the insurance exam a second time today and didn't pass it again, now I have to decide if I want to take it a third time.
__________________ COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022 |
ElectricManatee, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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117.7k hugs
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#37
Repair shop called, where I have had my car for the past two days. They could not get it to replicate the sound. So they didn't fix anything. My Mom and Dad are going to go pick it up for me. Probably tomorrow when I drive my car again it will make the clunking sound again. That is my kind of luck!
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
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Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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117.7k hugs
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#38
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Magnate
ElectricManatee
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#39
I'm glad my thoughts were helpful to you, Kit. I also wanted to add -- in case it wasn't 100% clear -- that I don't think this is a little thing and I do think you are absolutely justified in feeling upset about it. I think most people would feel put out by it and especially people with any sort of neglect in their background.
I am generally a conscientious, responsible person too, and my impulse to "take care of" my T (as she puts it) has come up several times in different ways over the years. Sometimes I'm just being kind in a way that's in character for me, but sometimes I realize I am doing it because I (subconsciously) think she won't like me or want to help me if I don't please her, which is an unhelpful pattern from childhood. I also think it's okay to not bring it up with her if you don't feel like you can. Sometimes just recognizing what you feel and why is a huge accomplishment, even if you're not ready to do anything about it right now. |
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RTerroni
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#40
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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