Couch 237: Social Rules

ArtieTheSequal · 04:41 PM

My son came over for a little bit this afternoon, I was able to visit with him while still working. He had some news, he's looking at taking a job at a shop up in Oregon and moving, they are flying him up there for an interview and to meet the staff in early June!! Waaahhhh I don't want my baby to move away. I managed to not tear up while he was here, but I got a little misty-eyed talking with H about it after he left. My son's super stoked about it cuz he doesn't really care for the hot summers here. I'm sad that he's (probably) moving away and I'll see him even less than I do now! But trying to temper that sadness by reminding myself if he has the confidence to pursue something like this at 23 then we must have done something right in raising him... but dang I miss him already and he hasn't even had the interview yet. Slow down the world, I can't keep up anymore...

atisketatasket · May 29, 2022 at 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MobiusPsyche

I'm glad your sister is there to help, ATAT.

I never went through my mother's house. She lived in Texas and I had already been away for almost six weeks at that point, maybe longer? I was way past overwhelmed and my imagination could not grasp anything I might find that would make the whole enterprise worthwhile.

I did look for old photos but couldn't find any. I took her wedding ring set from the jewelry box, gave all the food in the house to her friend, and the realtor arranged for a company to come in and sell or donate the rest. Oh, I did ship a lamp to her boyfriend's sister. I shipped home 3 afghans my great aunts had made for the family in the 1970s and a few small things. It's been 3.5 years and I can't say I regret my decision.

Yes, several people have told me to hire someone. But neither my sister nor I want to--it feels to us like a necessary part of the grieving process. I helped my mother go through my grandmother's and grandfather's things after they died, but missed helping her with my father (my sister did, though), and that last still feels like unfinished business.

But yes, it is overwhelming, on top of the suddenness and the rarity of her fatal condition.

There have been funny moments--such as when I opened a box and a dozen amplified telephone handsets fell out. Or when we were dragging stuff out of the attic and kept spotting more further back (the attic has no floor, you scuttle from rafter to rafter and hope you don't fall).

MobiusPsyche · May 29, 2022 at 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Yes, several people have told me to hire someone. But neither my sister nor I want to--it feels to us like a necessary part of the grieving process. I helped my mother go through my grandmother's and grandfather's things after they died, but missed helping her with my father (my sister did, though), and that last still feels like unfinished business.

But yes, it is overwhelming, on top of the suddenness and the rarity of her fatal condition.

There have been funny moments--such as when I opened a box and a dozen amplified telephone handsets fell out. Or when we were dragging stuff out of the attic and kept spotting more further back (the attic has no floor, you scuttle from rafter to rafter and hope you don't fall).

Yes, I can understand that it is a ritual and necessary. Many people find it meaningful.

My situation was a bit different, though, for reasons I won't go into right now.

Wishing you and your sister healing.

Sent from my SM-S908U using Tapatalk

stopdog · May 29, 2022 at 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

My son came over for a little bit this afternoon, I was able to visit with him while still working. He had some news, he's looking at taking a job at a shop up in Oregon and moving, they are flying him up there for an interview and to meet the staff in early June!! Waaahhhh I don't want my baby to move away. I managed to not tear up while he was here, but I got a little misty-eyed talking with H about it after he left. My son's super stoked about it cuz he doesn't really care for the hot summers here. I'm sad that he's (probably) moving away and I'll see him even less than I do now! But trying to temper that sadness by reminding myself if he has the confidence to pursue something like this at 23 then we must have done something right in raising him... but dang I miss him already and he hasn't even had the interview yet. Slow down the world, I can't keep up anymore...

I know you are sad that he might live in another state. But congratulations (I am being sincere) on raising a son who has launched and going and living his life and experiencing things and growing. Like you did when you moved to az from st. louis.

WarmFuzzySocks · May 29, 2022 at 08:41 PM

The weather today has been wacky. Sun-rain-sun-rain-sun and rain... I was out enjoying the sun, planting tomato starts and harvesting lettuce, then it started to rain. Next thing you know dancer son was out there- he'd looked out the window and seen me getting rained on so he brought out his umbrella to keep me from getting wet. I guess my spawn are pretty decent folk.

atisketatasket · May 29, 2022 at 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

The weather today has been wacky. Sun-rain-sun-rain-sun and rain... I was out enjoying the sun, planting tomato starts and harvesting lettuce, then it started to rain. Next thing you know dancer son was out there- he'd looked out the window and seen me getting rained on so he brought out his umbrella to keep me from getting wet. I guess my spawn are pretty decent folk.

Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

unaluna · May 29, 2022 at 09:50 PM

Okay! I put clothes to soak in bathroom sink to wear to my tuesday dr appt. Broke up boxes, found my new mike extension cord (which i thought i had put away and forgot where, but nope i never even opened it). Cleared off my foyer chair. Found some soda pop, put one in the little fridge.

Dont know where i found the go to get going, but im so glad i did.

WarmFuzzySocks · May 30, 2022 at 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

That made me feel all squooshy and stuff.

And I hadn't thought about this until I read that: How much I worry sometimes about the stuff from their other tree.

atisketatasket · May 30, 2022 at 05:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Okay! I put clothes to soak in bathroom sink to wear to my tuesday dr appt. Broke up boxes, found my new mike extension cord (which i thought i had put away and forgot where, but nope i never even opened it). Cleared off my foyer chair. Found some soda pop, put one in the little fridge.

Dont know where i found the go to get going, but im so glad i did.

There’s a job here for you if you want it. Room, board, and the company of a very farty loan dog and a standoffish new cat.

LostOnTheTrail · May 30, 2022 at 09:27 AM

I found out today that a Zentangle tile I made in March as a tribute to Steve made it into the art exhibition stemming from the workshop.

I submitted an artist's statement in two paragraphs shortly after the workshop, but when the deadline was shifted I ended up rewriting it to add more about my relationship with Steve.

I think this is the definition of bittersweet.

LonesomeTonight · May 30, 2022 at 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

I found out today that a Zentangle tile I made in March as a tribute to Steve made it into the art exhibition stemming from the workshop.

I submitted an artist's statement in two paragraphs shortly after the workshop, but when the deadline was shifted I ended up rewriting it to add more about my relationship with Steve.

I think this is the definition of bittersweet.

Oh, that's great, Lost, congrats! And I definitely understand it being bittersweet. Hugs, too.

RTerroni · 03:10 PM

Celebrating the holiday by going to Sonic for lunch and maybe pizza for dinner.

Although at Sonic they made me pay in cash since their credit machine was, luckily I had cash since I don't always do.

LonesomeTonight · May 30, 2022 at 01:52 PM

Today in random T facts (an oasis in a really intense, but productive, session):
I did get Dr. T to mention some of the music he listens to.

Dr. T: My taste is as boring is a gets.
Me: Soft rock?
Dr. T: More pop. There's a female artist, I can't pull her name.
Me: Adele?
Dr. T: No, I can only tolerate so much Adele.
Me: Beyonce?
Dr. T: No, she has an album called 1984, I think?
Me: Taylor Swift?
Dr. T: Yes, that's her! I like some of her stuff.

LostOnTheTrail · May 30, 2022 at 04:07 PM

For all the time I've spent thinking Dr. T hails from planet 4:33, I would never have pegged him as a Taylor Swift fan.

Thanks for the laugh, LT - it's been quite an evening here.

Polibeth · May 30, 2022 at 05:07 PM

I put in an application today to adopt a 2 month old kitten from my local animal shelter. They are closed today so tomorrow is the earliest I will hear anything. I thought maybe it was too soon since my other cat passed away (Friday) but my remaining cat is lonely and I think it will also help my grieving process.

I'm hoping, if approved, and I have no reason to think I won't be, that I will be able to bring him home next Monday since I am dog-sitting for a few days and don't want to bring a kitten home in the middle of that......but I didn't want to hold off putting in the application since there's a specific kitty I want.

Also, I got a new job in the middle of going through my cat passing and they called today. I start Orientation with them this week!

LonesomeTonight · May 30, 2022 at 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Polibeth

I put in an application today to adopt a 2 month old kitten from my local animal shelter. They are closed today so tomorrow is the earliest I will hear anything. I thought maybe it was too soon since my other cat passed away (Friday) but my remaining cat is lonely and I think it will also help my grieving process.

I'm hoping, if approved, and I have no reason to think I won't be, that I will be able to bring him home next Monday since I am dog-sitting for a few days and don't want to bring a kitten home in the middle of that......but I didn't want to hold off putting in the application since there's a specific kitty I want.

Also, I got a new job in the middle of going through my cat passing and they called today. I start Orientation with them this week!

Hope you get approved! And then you need to share cat pics. And congrats on the job!

LonesomeTonight · May 30, 2022 at 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

For all the time I've spent thinking Dr. T hails from planet 4:33, I would never have pegged him as a Taylor Swift fan.

Thanks for the laugh, LT - it's been quite an evening here.

Glad I gave you a laugh. Hugs if wanted. And H has referred to him as an alien as well!

ArtieTheSequal · May 30, 2022 at 05:38 PM

Congrats on the new job, Polibeth, and I hope you get approved for the kitten you want!

LostOnTheTrail · May 30, 2022 at 06:11 PM

Thanks, LT. Planet 4'33 was a reference to John Cage, who composed a piece of "music" entitled 4'33. It was four minutes and 33 seconds of complete silence!

All resolved now, but I hate unnecessary arguments.

unaluna · May 30, 2022 at 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Congrats on the new job, Polibeth, and I hope you get approved for the kitten you want!

Poli, does the new job offer kitternity leave?

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Couch 237: Social Rules

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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,068 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.8k hugs given	May 29, 2022 at 09:50 PM #487 Okay! I put clothes to soak in bathroom sink to wear to my tuesday dr appt. Broke up boxes, found my new mike extension cord (which i thought i had put away and forgot where, but nope i never even opened it). Cleared off my foyer chair. Found some soda pop, put one in the little fridge. Dont know where i found the go to get going, but im so glad i did.

RTerroni Elder Member Since Sep 2013 Location: USA Posts: 5,751 10 2,136 hugs given	May 30, 2022 at 01:01 PM #492 Celebrating the holiday by going to Sonic for lunch and maybe pizza for dinner. Although at Sonic they made me pay in cash since their credit machine was, luckily I had cash since I don't always do. __________________ COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022 Last edited by RTerroni; May 30, 2022 at 03:10 PM..

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,325 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,811 hugs given	May 30, 2022 at 05:38 PM #498 Congrats on the new job, Polibeth, and I hope you get approved for the kitten you want!