Couch 237: Social Rules

stopdog · 05:11 PM

Mini couch poll - when you do something unpleasant like go to an md or put a pet down -do you prefer your partner or close friend to be there or not? If you were the partner or friend would you be upset not to be there?

For me -I prefer to do it alone and I would not get upset if someone else also preferred to do it alone.

RTerroni · 05:47 PM

My new Therapist was supposed to call me an hour ago but never did.

Definitely not starting on the right foot.

ScarletPimpernel · May 31, 2022 at 05:28 PM

Depends on the situation, but usually. For my surgeries, I want someone there. For doctors, I go alone. H doesn't want to go with. For putting a pet to sleep, I definitely want my H there for our pets, and I've been there for my dad's and mom's dogs.

LonesomeTonight · May 31, 2022 at 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Mini couch poll - when you do something unpleasant like go to an md or put a pet down -do you prefer your partner or close friend to be there or not? If you were the partner or friend would you be upset not to be there?

For me -I prefer to do it alone and I would not get upset if someone else also preferred to do it alone.

Putting a pet down? I'd want someone there. For doctors, if it's a routine medical appointment, I'd generally want to go alone. But something like the ER for a potentially serious condition, I'd want someone there. When I had to go a few years ago (pre-pandemic) for a high heart rate, H and D were at the beach (I was supposed to head down that day to join them), and it was scary to me being in there all alone for hours. In part because I worried they'd say I was having a heart attack or needed surgery, and I'd be alone.

Polibeth · May 31, 2022 at 06:37 PM

I just put a pet down and I went alone even though several people suggested asking my Dad to go with. I wanted it to be a private moment with just kitty and I. Usually to go to MD or ER or whatever, I also go alone.

Polibeth · May 31, 2022 at 06:39 PM

I got approved by the animal shelter to adopt. I called the foster mom for the kitten I want and made an appointment to meet him on Friday morning (she didn't have anything sooner) - but she did say that they had several people interested in this particular kitten but she hadn't heard from any of them in several days. I'm hoping he's still available on Friday. If not, I am approved so I can select another kitten.

MobiusPsyche · May 31, 2022 at 07:10 PM

SD, I live alone, so for pets I go alone. I'm the only person they've bonded with so that only makes sense.

For medical appointments, I always prefer to go alone. However, I might have to change my tune at some point and ask a friend to come with me to certain appointments, ask if I can record them on my phone, or ask if my sister can listen in on the phone. So far I'm able to remember what we talked about just fine but I worry that might change. My problems with aphasia continue to get worse, although at a slow pace.

Even when I was going to see the oncologist for the first time, I went alone. If I were married or had a significant other, that would change the equation because I would take their needs and wants and feelings into account. My sisters live 5+ hours away, so I don't have to take their feelings into account.

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Daffydungle · May 31, 2022 at 07:13 PM

YAY! My daughter and her bf are moving out. They pick up the keys on 10 June. I will have my house to myself again. I can vacuum whenever i want or mow or take a shower or cook. My house has walls that are only 1/2 inch thick so sound is always a problem. It will nice and a bit lonely but they are just in the next suburb a 5 minute drive away.

Daffydungle · May 31, 2022 at 07:16 PM

I had a dream that SD built a trebuchet and we all took turns yeeting the problem people in our lives.

atisketatasket · May 31, 2022 at 07:25 PM

I prefer to do it alone, unless it’s the sort of thing like surgery where they make you bring a ride home.

Today’s randomly reappearing item: seashells, completely out of context, like on a shelf full of tools.

The knitting needles were always in something like a pencil holder, so no, not an itch.

I would love to dream about trebuchets.

Daffydungle · May 31, 2022 at 07:29 PM

I would want someone to be there for puttingbpets down as when i was a kid we would have a family conference and everyone said that we would do it together and everyone pulled out at the last moment so i usually had to do it alone. I rarely go to the doctor but i go alone when i do.

unaluna · May 31, 2022 at 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daffydungle

I had a dream that SD built a trebuchet and we all took turns yeeting the problem people in our lives.

Too bad you didnt dream this before. She could have used the trebuchet to haul the old dog up and down the stairs.

When i was in the hospital for falling down (so dizzy!) ten years ago, after they admitted me i was like, do i call anybody? I didnt call my friends, and i definitely didnt call my no-contact family. When my brother had a stroke and was hospitalized sometime in the same time period, various people left voicemails. But they NEVER said why they were calling - pretty sure my mother told them not to divulge on voicemail cousins' deaths, etc. I usually figured it out months or years later. I dont know if she thought the news would be too shocking for my poor sensitive soul, or if she was just being controlling.

Daffydungle · May 31, 2022 at 08:00 PM

Pretty sure the message of the dream wasI can build my own trebuchet as it seemed more like an instructional exercise.

stopdog · May 31, 2022 at 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Too bad you didnt dream this before. She could have used the trebuchet to haul the old dog up and down the stairs.

Do you know how a trebuchet works? That would fling him - not haul him. I would not fling him. That would be ouchy for him. I didn't mind carrying him up the stairs - my old failing body stopped letting me do it.

stopdog · May 31, 2022 at 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daffydungle

Pretty sure the message of the dream wasI can build my own trebuchet as it seemed more like an instructional exercise.

I love watching the shows where they build trebuchets - go for it

velcro003 · May 31, 2022 at 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Mini couch poll - when you do something unpleasant like go to an md or put a pet down -do you prefer your partner or close friend to be there or not? If you were the partner or friend would you be upset not to be there?

For me -I prefer to do it alone and I would not get upset if someone else also preferred to do it alone.

For a routine doctor's appointment, I will just go alone. If it was something more serious, I may ask a friend to come with me. Not sure. If I had to put a pet down, I also would do it alone. No one needs to see me break down like that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daffydungle

I had a dream that SD built a trebuchet and we all took turns yeeting the problem people in our lives.

Lol.

Quietmind 2 · May 31, 2022 at 09:49 PM

MD - I definitely want to be alone. Long wait time in general, but patients are never informed. Me or the other person wouldn't know how long the wait is for the MD and then payment.

I suppose I would want someone to drive me if I needed surgery under general anesthesia, but then I don't have anyone. I took public transport after my wisdom teeth got taken out under general anesthesia, after lying to the nurse that I'll call for a taxi.

For emergency room, I have no one since I live alone currently, but I likely would want my partner. Close friend sounds tempting but I'd feel like a burden, so no.

I've never had to put down a pet, but I would probably want my partner or close friend around, as long as they don't push me to talk. But then, I hate crying in front of another person lol.

ElectricManatee · May 31, 2022 at 09:58 PM

New pandemic therapy experience: my T's husband was exposed to Covid at work and my T couldn't be sure she wasn't having symptoms because she just got her second booster and was reacting to it (again!). My kids were both home yesterday because of the holiday which made finding space and quiet for telehealth nearly impossible. Instead we had a session in the (abandoned, due to the holiday) parking lot outside her office. We parked side by side and sat in the driver's seats of our respective cars and talked through the open windows. It was the only shady place to sit in the area. It honestly was a really productive session, which was surprising given how weird the whole setup was.

atisketatasket · May 31, 2022 at 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

New pandemic therapy experience: my T's husband was exposed to Covid at work and my T couldn't be sure she wasn't having symptoms because she just got her second booster and was reacting to it (again!). My kids were both home yesterday because of the holiday which made finding space and quiet for telehealth nearly impossible. Instead we had a session in the (abandoned, due to the holiday) parking lot outside her office. We parked side by side and sat in the driver's seats of our respective cars and talked through the open windows. It was the only shady place to sit in the area. It honestly was a really productive session, which was surprising given how weird the whole setup was.

Ooh, this brings to mind many many scenes in cop and spy movies and shows. All you needed was for it to be 1 am. And also one of you to floor it with squealing tires when you left.

unaluna · Jun 01, 2022 at 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Do you know how a trebuchet works? That would fling him - not haul him. I would not fling him. That would be ouchy for him. I didn't mind carrying him up the stairs - my old failing body stopped letting me do it.

I was picturing controlled slow motion like with a pulley and a mattress landing. Not just flanging him. Im not a monster!

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Couch 237: Social Rules

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RTerroni Elder Member Since Sep 2013 Location: USA Posts: 5,751 10 2,136 hugs given	May 31, 2022 at 04:58 PM #522 My new Therapist was supposed to call me an hour ago but never did. Definitely not starting on the right foot. __________________ COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022 Last edited by RTerroni; May 31, 2022 at 05:47 PM..

ScarletPimpernel Wise Elder Member Since Nov 2013 Location: US Posts: 8,413 (SuperPoster!) 10 6,432 hugs given	May 31, 2022 at 05:28 PM #523 Depends on the situation, but usually. For my surgeries, I want someone there. For doctors, I go alone. H doesn't want to go with. For putting a pet to sleep, I definitely want my H there for our pets, and I've been there for my dad's and mom's dogs. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica

Polibeth Poohbah Member Since Jun 2014 Location: Earth Posts: 1,193 9 2,235 hugs given	May 31, 2022 at 06:37 PM #525 I just put a pet down and I went alone even though several people suggested asking my Dad to go with. I wanted it to be a private moment with just kitty and I. Usually to go to MD or ER or whatever, I also go alone.

Daffydungle Poohbah Member Since Apr 2020 Location: Nowhere Posts: 1,257 4 451 hugs given	May 31, 2022 at 07:13 PM #528 YAY! My daughter and her bf are moving out. They pick up the keys on 10 June. I will have my house to myself again. I can vacuum whenever i want or mow or take a shower or cook. My house has walls that are only 1/2 inch thick so sound is always a problem. It will nice and a bit lonely but they are just in the next suburb a 5 minute drive away.

Daffydungle Poohbah Member Since Apr 2020 Location: Nowhere Posts: 1,257 4 451 hugs given	May 31, 2022 at 07:16 PM #529 I had a dream that SD built a trebuchet and we all took turns yeeting the problem people in our lives.

Daffydungle Poohbah Member Since Apr 2020 Location: Nowhere Posts: 1,257 4 451 hugs given	May 31, 2022 at 07:29 PM #531 I would want someone to be there for puttingbpets down as when i was a kid we would have a family conference and everyone said that we would do it together and everyone pulled out at the last moment so i usually had to do it alone. I rarely go to the doctor but i go alone when i do.

Daffydungle Poohbah Member Since Apr 2020 Location: Nowhere Posts: 1,257 4 451 hugs given	May 31, 2022 at 08:00 PM #533 Pretty sure the message of the dream wasI can build my own trebuchet as it seemed more like an instructional exercise.