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Serendepity
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Frown Jun 13, 2022 at 09:46 AM
  #1
I suffer from PTSD, Anorexia and Schizoaffective Disorder. My therapist is not only my psychotherapist but also my psychiatrist and I have been working with him for a few years and we have always had a good therapeutic relationship.

Despite my diagnosis I have been stable for a long time and managed to build a successful career for myself and even buy my own apartment still in my 20s completely alone. But during the New Year I was abandoned by my entire family because they said I am a shame to them due to my illnesses. This sent me spiraling and my eating disorder relapsed, propelled by weight gain due to my psychiatric medications.

This caused some problems with my medications as my purging was affecting my blood levels, my T saw my problems with my medications as an attack against him and also became frustrated with me. I realized that medications are the gold standard of Bipolar and worried about what would happen without it, so I sought additional help as I felt my T was not being considerate of my struggles.

At this time I also decided I needed a break, not just from him but from everything (work etc) as I felt exhausted, however during this time I was planning to continue treatment for my eating disorder and to take my medications.

I sent him an email asking for a 3 month break to give me some time to work on the problems straining our relationship and asked him if it was already possible to reschedule.

He never replied.

3 weeks later I find out my medications have not been filled so I sent him another email. Once again he didn't reply.

At this point I contacted other psychiatrists, none of them are available and basically every therapist/psychiatrist is about to go on Summer holidays until August/September so I went to my GP. He said he could not prescribe because he doesnt want to mess with Lithium and my case is too severe and to contact my psychiatrist.

This time I built up the courage and called him, after a few tries spaced throughout the day he did not respond so I left a voicemail. And never got a response.

And now I have relapsed on everything and I am falling apart. I am devastated I cannot believe he would do this to me just because I needed a break to recover. I dont understand. Did I eff up??
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Default Jun 13, 2022 at 11:35 AM
  #2
Hello Serendepity,

I am so sorry for your current struggles. I don't think that you made a mistake. I am surprised that your T who is also your psychiatrist would allow your meds to lapse, without contacting you that a break would mean that he would not be prescribing your medications as well. I also find it strange that he did not respond to your email. You have agency. You have the right to take a break from therapy. He should not take it personally. I am sorry about the medication issue. I don't know what to suggest because it sounds as though you have exhausted your options. Perhaps you could go to the office and see if you can make an appointment for meds only?

I hope this gets resolved soon. Sending you hugs if you want them, Kit

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Default Jun 13, 2022 at 01:06 PM
  #3
I'm really sorry you're going through this. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, and even if you did, you don't deserve to be without the medications that you need. Can you go back to your primary care doctor to explain the situation and get some sort of short-term prescription? The ER is also an option in a pinch if you don't have any other place to go and you're at risk for rapidly deteriorating without your medicine. Then in the meantime you can work on finding a new therapist and a new psychiatrist who can help you recover from all the abandonment you're dealing with, even if it requires wait lists. I'm really sorry you're dealing with all this. It sounds overwhelming. Keep posting here if it helps.
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Default Jun 14, 2022 at 04:52 AM
  #4
Hi @SlumberKitty and @ElectricManatee,
Thank you both so much not only for your replies but for your kind words of support. I cannot express how much it means to me at this time.

I really can't think of any other reason for his behaviour as he was perfectly fine before I asked him for a break and then he took a total turn that I would have never expected. I also cant believe he is withholding medications from me when he knows how devastating my manic and psychotic episodes are, beyond ghosting this is what hurts me the most as I feel he is intentionally causing me harm.

To add insult to injury, therapy is extremely expensive in my country and each sessions costs hundreds of euro, I have spent thousands on therapy with him and yet I have not once been late with my payment, but yet I don't even get the courtesy of an email or call to my GP so they can take over my case whilst I look for a new therapist.

And of cours doctors here are heavily protected by law and as a result not only can I not report him but he could sue me for defamation if I gave him a negative review. This situation really seems hopeless...
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Default Jun 14, 2022 at 05:08 AM
  #5
You can’t eff up by literally having the illness for which this dude is treating you. I mean how does that make sense?! Also you suggested taking a break, you didn’t threaten violence or harm him in any way.

If he thinks your plan is unwise, he can use his words and tell you so. Stopping your prescription without any further discussion is deeply irresponsible and potentially harmful to you. I second the suggestion that you go to your primary care doc (see them, don’t just call) or the ER if you feel like you’re falling apart.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. You deserve much better.
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Default Jun 14, 2022 at 06:43 AM
  #6
It is unethical for a therapist to abandon a client. If they feel for whatever reason they cannot continue to help you, they are supposed to give you a notice, and refer you to someone else.
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Default Jun 14, 2022 at 02:31 PM
  #7
Update:

Thank you all for your replies,
I went back to my GP but she says by law she is not allowed to give me these medications, he either has to give it to me or give me a letter that says she can do it (which I had already requested in a previous email and he did not give)

Unfortunately due to Covid regulations I am not allowed to go to his office in person unless I have an appointment and since he isn't replying to me I can't even make one.

In the meantime I am continuing to contact other clinics but so far without any luck
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Default Jun 14, 2022 at 08:59 PM
  #8
Wow, this is really awful, Serendipity. I can't believe your GP can't prescribe them to you in a situation like this. I really hope you can get back on them soon. Is going to a hospital to get emergency meds an option? I have no idea what that even looks like in the US, much less the EU.
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Default Jun 15, 2022 at 03:00 AM
  #9
it almost seems like he is doing this to play some type of "power trip" game on you. in the way to "show you" that HE is the one whos been the Dr. and you are just a patient. & HE is the Dr. who has been telling you what you will do for a long time.. and you are the patient who has been doing what I told you to do the whole time.
which was fine by him up until you are the patient who has the nerve to think you have the right to make the choice to tell him what you decided you were going to do. ..
so now Dr goes & cops an attitude and is giving you a taste of your own medicine.
you told him you wanted to take a break ... and by golly hes on an ego trip & is gonna give you that flipping break you told him you wanted big time! i bet he will wait this out just cuz he gets a kick from basking in the glory of making you beg to come back ... his actions & attitude are clearly behaviors unbecomming professional standards...
you did do the best thing for yourself by taking this break and getting away from this jerk! you deserve a way better dr than him - so dump this guy & and go find yourself a good one & things are gonna be just fine real soon for you..
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Default Jun 15, 2022 at 03:12 PM
  #10
Wow, yet another incompetent pdoc/therapist. This seems to be an epidemic, and it is disgusting and very disturbing.

You're in Europe? Are there any type of emergency drop-in mental health places? Some type of government clinic where you can walk in and get assistance? I'd check into that - in the meantime, keep calling your pdoc. The bas*ard needs to be held accountable. Don't bother being polite - call 3 or 4 times a day and strongly express your need for medication.

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Default Jun 18, 2022 at 09:02 AM
  #11
Thank you so much for your replies everyone,
There are indeed governmental psychiatric services/emergency clinics but they have refused to prescribe my medications. None of these doctors/institutions want to touch my meds yet I as the patient have to somehow deal with it and figure it out.

I really do not understand how this is possible and how a doctor can behave so unethically and nobody can even give him as much as a warning. At the very least he should be getting treatment for whatever reason has caused him to behave like this. Unbelievable!
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Default Jun 18, 2022 at 09:08 AM
  #12
Wow, I echo what everyone else said. That doctor is unethical. And I'm really sorry you don't have your meds and they won't help you.
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Default Jun 20, 2022 at 02:21 AM
  #13
Thank you downandlonely!

I have been advised to slowly taper off my medications :/
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Default Jun 21, 2022 at 02:53 AM
  #14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serendepity View Post
Thank you downandlonely!

I have been advised to slowly taper off my medications :/

I have no idea what the law is outside of California, but the law here is that a psychiatrist must provide a patient with 3 months of medication if they terminate the patient or if the patient has a change in insurance.

Do you know of any such law where you live?

My other suggestion is that you set up an appointment right away with a new pdoc.

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Default Jun 22, 2022 at 06:04 AM
  #15
Thank you so much for the reply Beth!

I looked into it and there doesnt seem to be such a law here but it is considered extremely unethical to
1) terminate patient by ghosting or without an appropriate termination program which includes a 'valid' reason to terminate (ie the patient is violent and the dr is threatened by it)
2) not provide treatment until a suitable alternative has been found

And failure to comply with the above are grounds for medical malpractice. The reason why you even need a good reason to terminate is because the mental health services here are so overwhelmed.

I have contacted almost 20 psychiatrists so far, all of them private costing hundreds per session (in a country where the average wage is 30k per year) and only one had availability (in 3 months time!!!) Everyone else was either completely booked or did not respond...

I also found a Psychotherapist who will be supporting me until I start treatment with the new Psychiatrist. I decided to separate Psychiatry and Psychotherapy this time because combining the two this time ended up hurting me way more
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Default Jul 10, 2022 at 07:44 AM
  #16
Hey everyone, I am not sure if anyone is interested in this topic but a lot has happened since I last posted and I needed somewhere to vent so I hope its okay if I post here.

When I tried to taper off my medication I must have done it too fast and ended up in the hospital with a very serious side effect. The hospital called my former Psychiatrist and arranged an emergency appointment with him. I told them I didn't want to go see him and explained the situation but they were insisting on it because "its best to stay with the same clinician when you suffer from a long term mental illness" and said their lack of response is probably due to burn out due to the systems being over stretched since the pandemic began. And so my treatment was transferred back to my original Dr.

During our first appointment he seemed really concerned for me all of a sudden, when I tried to talk about what happened he just changed topic and narrowed everything down to a "crisis" and that the most important thing is for me to get back on my feet. He also said in the future he will not accept any breaks in therapy and that he does not believe I can manage my symptoms without him.

After our session I was very conflicted not only by his behaviour but every other Dr as well, but despite this I made up my mind and sent him an email letting him know I do not want to continue treatment with him, that I have a new Dr and that I am terminating him effective IMMEDIATELY.

To be honest I am quite concerned that when I start with the new psychiatrist they will try to get me to be treated by this guy again :/ I feel beyond exhausted due to this situation and I am on sick leave from work ever since...
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Default Jul 10, 2022 at 10:43 AM
  #17
Wow. He sounds very controlling, like he wanted to 'punish' you for daring to take a break against his wishes.

You are well rid of him. Well done for having the strength to stand up to him. Hopefully you won't be referred back to him now or he'll probably be worse. For your sake I just hope you end up working with someone ethical and responsible and patient-led, not someone on a power trip.
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Default Jul 10, 2022 at 11:39 AM
  #18
Oh gosh, I've been wondering how you are. Your psychiatrist is ridiculous and so utterly unethical. I really hope you can find a decent one who is accepting new patients. It's completely cruel of him to do this to you.
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Default Jul 12, 2022 at 10:39 AM
  #19
Thank you for your reply Lonely, I really felt like he was trying to punish me and make me seem more reliant on him than I really am like "see what happens when you don't follow my rules??".

He also diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder and said that its normal to experience crisis for people with BPD when they push away someone they are attached to.

I feel like none of this is true, my "crisis" went away as soon as my medications were fixed again and I'm sure I would have been perfectly fine if he hadn't witheld my prescription.

After I sent him the termination he once again didn't reply, not even to confirm the termination or provide me with a summary for my new doctor.

Thank you for your reply Quiet, I have already an appointment with a new psychiatrist starting in October I really do hope it goes much better r
than this.
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Default Jul 12, 2022 at 11:54 AM
  #20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serendepity View Post
Thank you for your reply Lonely, I really felt like he was trying to punish me and make me seem more reliant on him than I really am like "see what happens when you don't follow my rules??".

He also diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder and said that its normal to experience crisis for people with BPD when they push away someone they are attached to.

I feel like none of this is true, my "crisis" went away as soon as my medications were fixed again and I'm sure I would have been perfectly fine if he hadn't witheld my prescription.

After I sent him the termination he once again didn't reply, not even to confirm the termination or provide me with a summary for my new doctor.

Thank you for your reply Quiet, I have already an appointment with a new psychiatrist starting in October I really do hope it goes much better than this.
When you have the new appointment, I hope you can explain the situation to the new one. Having a diagnosis of BPD carries a lot of stigma, and you would need it removed in your health records since he "diagnosed" you with that as a power trip because you didn't comply with more of his unethical treatment after he landed you in the hospital.

Please also take screenshots/photos/emails of what happened and that you terminated him and all that, just in case. I'm concerned about what he might do to discredit you.

I unfortunately have witnessed unethical people breaking medical/therapy confidentiality in completely unethical ways and strongly suspect it was done to me. I couldn't even report the people because I didn't have proof.

The person involved in the middle of the web of incidents was abusing me, and they started discrediting me, lying a lot to crisis lines and other places.

I could have been physically and mentally harmed by some forced wellness check from the police due to those complete lies painting me as a danger to myself or towards that person.

Last edited by Quietmind 2; Jul 12, 2022 at 12:11 PM..
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