Couch 238: Appreciating Small Progress Couch

Exhankster probably had mastodon.

I didn't have a stroke, but my BP at one point was 220/140 which is definitely in Danger Will Robinson territory. I felt normal during all this. They gave me something I can't remember the name of in an IV. When they discovered the elevated cardiac enzyme, they game me aspirin to chew and moved me back to the actual ER. At some point, they started giving me oral BP meds, I think while I was still in the ER, which are also what I now have a prescription for.

This all started when I went to the dentist to get a crown done and they took my BP and it was sky high. After about 20 minutes or so of me saying I felt fine, they went ahead and did the crown which took 3 hours or so (they make the crown on site, so there was a lot of waiting). I thought maybe I should go get my BP taken somewhere else in case it wasn't just a faulty BP monitor at the dentist, so I went to an urgent care where I waited another 45 minutes or so while they saw a bunch of people getting Covid tests and some girl with a hurt finger before me. And yes, I told them it was in the 220 range when I checked in. Finally saw a doctor there and she said they couldn't do anything in office and told me I needed to go to the ER and was talking about strokes. Even though I've been both actively and passively suicidal at different points, stroke was something I never even considered. If I couldn't work anymore, I think I'd just be done at that point. So I drove to the ER. Told them I was there for high BP and showed them the paperwork from the urgent care and I still had to wait although it was probably only 15 minutes this time. They stuck me in a room right behind the intake desk and I heard another finger injury get taken straight away for vitals, so I'm now convinced finger injuries are the key to getting seen quickly. Seriously, you'd think they'd at least take my BP before sending me off to the waiting area.

When we took my mother back to the hospital, we spent about 4 1/2 hours waiting in the ER waiting room before even getting annER bed, despite the fact they were supposed to have a hospital bed ready for her. Mostly I remember holding an obviously very ill if not dying woman in my arms to try to keep her warm while all manner of people with all manner of ills, many apparently minor, were seen before us.

I get those cases are easier to deal with, so they want them out of the way. But still. Plus when urgent cares are available, as they are around here, people need to use them for those minor injuries.

The system is broken, @@. I'm so sorry, it's messed up and you shouldn't have to deal with it.

I'm glad you're home and that it wasn't a stroke, NP. I am really surprised that the hospital didn't take you back immediately considering the hip BP. When I had an elevated heart rate, they checked that basically as soon as I got there, then sent me back. However, it was at like 7 a.m. on a weekday and there were few people there, so that could be why. Though it felt like I had to wait forever (in reality, a couple hours) for the doctor to update me on what they thought was going on, in part because they got a lot busier, plus had to wait for my bloodwork results.


And @@, I'm also really sorry you had to deal with that.

For lunch. I had mastodon for lunch.

Regarding high blood pressure, I just want to point out that most people with high blood pressure feel absolutely fine. You don't feel it much, even if it's bad for you.

The only time I've been to the ER, there weren't lots of people, though we do have a similar problem to the US with people going there for minor stuff. Especially with their kids, they get worried about a fever and immediately go to the ER. However, I felt really bad when waiting in that ER, since I actually didn't want to be there. My friends saw me have a panic attack and although I had taken medication to calm down, they insisted on me going to the ER, where the discussion with the doc was like "we can't do anything for you" and me going "yes, I know, please tell that to the people outside, I'm feeling absolutely fine". I felt pretty bad for "blocking" the ER, even though it was mostly empty.

Where I am, a lot of people have MediCal. They flood the ER because there are only a few Urgent Cares that accept insurance and because hospital is free. However, ambulance and severe situations get priority. Everyone else is first come, first serve.

I'm glad you're back home, NP.

I started another of those star afghans that I enjoy making so much, crochet is my happy place. I haven't picked the next color yet but will after work today. Maybe peach? Oops, breaks over gotta get back to work.

Damnit!!! Why does NYT switch their sudoku over so early. It's 4pm on the west coast for god's sake! If I do it now, I won't have one to do tomorrow. I was saving today's for today because yesterday's was already today's by the time I checked it yesterday.

I am not having a good day and I wanted to do the damned puzzle. Being in the hospital has triggered a really awful bout of loneliness and an increased sense of futility.

Hugs, NP. I'm sorry you're feeling lonely and futile. Write here more if you think it might help.

If you're a games subscriber, I know at least with the crosswords, you can do them from the archives, so maybe you can still do today's? Not sure how it works for Sodoku.

With the crosswords, the next day's appear at 6 pm Eastern Saturday night and Sunday night, and the rest of the day's are at 10 Eastern, I think? I'm guessing all the games might follow the same pattern then.

The Spelling Bee rolls over to the current day sometime between 2 and 6 am ET on that day. (I check whennI have insomnia.)

Sigh, occupational therapist wants me to consider something like residential care It's not for trauma, and there isn't therapy though I'll be able to leave to see my T. It's not inpatient, but it isn't independent living either.

I refused, she kept at it, so I kept refusing. I do not at all understand why she thinks I'm in bad shape since I've survived way worse, and I'm fairly sure my general fatigue is due to iron deficiency and dealing with a pest infestation caused by some of my flatmates.

Even with maximum government assistance, I cannot afford it at ALL, and it would mean breaking my current lease. And I'll have to share a dorm with 6 others whereas I've my bedroom in my current place.

She's sweet, thinks landlords will understand mental health and let me break my lease without the money penalty.

I swear in some ways, I feel I'm more street smart than many of the people I interact with for my medical care and other aid applications.

People here live with parents until they marry, or save enough to buy a home in their late 30s and 40s, and it shows wherever I go. I'm been preparing for houselessness since I was a young kid lol.

For what was my worst fear, it wasn't too bad. Never had to rough sleep yet but I know exactly what I gotta do if I end up in such a situation, especially as I'm now an adult with way more capability than kid me.

I know she cares, it's just that I can't afford it and there's no guarantee I'd actually GAIN.

Interesting dream this morning that I wish I'd been able to let play out (maybe tonight?) I'm back in therapy with a male t this time, he's balding and wearing a knit vest that's all I remember, we're talking about figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life and he has me draw a circle in my notebook. After I do so, my alarm went off and brought me back into my bedroom.

I am so curious what was going to be the next step after drawing the circle!

hugs and head nods all around.

Glad you are back home, NP. HUG

T texted me this morning saying she had wanted to text me or call me over the weekend but she was too busy. What am I supposed to do with that information? Baffled.

Hi Kit,

Sorry it caught you off guard. Could you send something like this?

'Hi T, thanks for checking in. I am [insert feeling here]. Appreciate you thinking of me, see you [next session], Kit.'

Having just received a 'Let's discuss tomorrow' from R in response to a follow up text I'd sent after an email went unseen...

I appreciate that your T is looking out for you.

HUGS

Thanks, Lost. That is a good idea.