[*Beth*]

Last week my therapist said she'd read a novel that she wanted to share with me. She seemed to think it was humorous, and she told me that the mother in the book reminded her very much of my mother. The story is about 3 sisters, each of whom have a mental health issue due to childhood trauma, their brother (he's developmentally disabled), their grandmother who has dementia and thinks she Amelia Earhart, and the mother, a wacko woman who is mean to her daughters (my mom was entirely different in her style of abuse).
The novel's name is Henry's Sisters.

I started reading the book, which is so poorly written it's sad, and found it to be odd. Not at all engaging. So after about 100 pages I just skimmed through the rest (the novel is way too long). Among a few other things the story portrays the girls having been traumatized when they were younger by finding that their mother

Possible trigger:

was lying in bed hemorrhaging because she had given herself an abortion. The scenario is told in a manner that is satirical, definitely not tragic. Then, about 50 pages on there's a vivid description of one of the sisters picking up a guy in a bar, taking him to her apartment, and him beating her, forcing oral sex, and nearly raping her until she manages to get to a phone to call the police.

A long time ago I told my t that I had been

Possible trigger:

raped when I was fifteen by a guy I had been dating. I assume she's forgotten about that.

But she certainly knows that I grew up in a home in which there was serious, relentless violence.

The strangest part of this to me is that some months ago I asked my t to watch a short video, a scene from a movie, that I felt expressed the kind of rage I was feeling. The scene was violent, but I was asking for my t's empathy for how I was feeling at the time. Her response to my request to watch the video was "I probably wouldn't want to see it. I don't like to watch things like that."



This afternoon I have a therapy session and I am going to bring this stuff up with her. All of it is really bothering me.

Thanks for reading my vent.

[LonesomeTonight]

Ugh, that seems like a really inappropriate recommendation from your T! I wonder if she actually read the whole novel? I'd really question why she would find something like that humorous.... It's good you're bringing it up with her today.

[ArtleyWilkins]

I rarely take book recommendations from other people. I’ve learned that other people are generally really poor judges of what I might want to read.

[Mountaindewed]

I hated when my transference T would tell me about shows she'd watch like Vanderpump Rules because of course I'd go watch them and then the shows would be nothing but people drinking and taking their clothes off. Like clients have boundaries too, not just therapists.

[SlumberKitty]

Wow. that seems like a shocking recommendation from your T. I would not appreciate having that in a book. Rarely have my T's suggested anything specific for me to read. I usually suggest things to them that I have found helpful but it is non-fiction book about SH or Schizoaffective or something.

[NP_Complete]

One time I asked my therapist to listen to an audio recording I had made of my husband yelling at me because I wanted him to understand what it was like. I don't think he really wanted to listen to it because the day we were going to do it in session, he backed out saying he was worried he might not be able to be fully present for me. But I think he realized that I needed him to hear it, probably based on my reaction to him backing out at the last minute, so he did listen to it, just not in session. The response from your therapist about not watching a video for you makes me angry. It's not like you're asking her to watch it for entertainment. It's obvious you're trying to communicate something with it and she should watch it. I hope you're able to express your hurt to her and that you get a satisfying response.

[divine1966]

I looked up this horrid book on goodreads and it has good reviews? It’s weird. Who likes it? The whole thing supposed to be humorous? Not for someone with abusive upbringing

Her not wanting to watch a video I could maybe understand if she had a good explanation why she can’t watch it. Her explanation “I don’t like watching stuff like that” is really bogus. You didn’t expect her to like watching violence, that’s not why you wanted her to watch it!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

I rarely take book recommendations from other people. I’ve learned that other people are generally really poor judges of what I might want to read.

I entirely agree. Likewise, I would not give someone a book, which implies the expectation of the person having to read it. Books are such private things.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Ugh, that seems like a really inappropriate recommendation from your T! I wonder if she actually read the whole novel? I'd really question why she would find something like that humorous.... It's good you're bringing it up with her today.

You have made a good point. I wonder if she did read the entire novel. I question why the author herself finds the subject matter worthy of satire

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Wow. that seems like a shocking recommendation from your T. I would not appreciate having that in a book. Rarely have my T's suggested anything specific for me to read. I usually suggest things to them that I have found helpful but it is non-fiction book about SH or Schizoaffective or something.

A long time ago I had a t who recommended psychology books to me. That always went well. But this is...weird...

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

One time I asked my therapist to listen to an audio recording I had made of my husband yelling at me because I wanted him to understand what it was like. I don't think he really wanted to listen to it because the day we were going to do it in session, he backed out saying he was worried he might not be able to be fully present for me. But I think he realized that I needed him to hear it, probably based on my reaction to him backing out at the last minute, so he did listen to it, just not in session. The response from your therapist about not watching a video for you makes me angry. It's not like you're asking her to watch it for entertainment. It's obvious you're trying to communicate something with it and she should watch it. I hope you're able to express your hurt to her and that you get a satisfying response.

Thank you for sharing your own experience with the recording.

When I said to her, "Well, I asked you to watch the video because I was trying for empathy" she simply said, "I know."

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I looked up this horrid book on goodreads and it has good reviews? It’s weird. Who likes it? The whole thing supposed to be humorous? Not for someone with abusive upbringing

Her not wanting to watch a video I could maybe understand if she had a good explanation why she can’t watch it. Her explanation “I don’t like watching stuff like that” is really bogus. You didn’t expect her to like watching violence, that’s not why you wanted her to watch it!

Yes - good reviews on Goodreads - and on Amazon it has exceptional reviews The satire is awful enough; the author's inability to write well is painful.

The video situation was awkward, at best. I felt shunned.

[*Beth*]

Thank you, to each of you, for your replies. They give me increased courage to bring this whole video/novel thing up later today.

It seems that every time I trust my t, every time I get comfortable with her, something happens and I have that little voice that says Is this really a good situation for you? I just hope the session today isn't a mess and I walk out wishing I hadn't wasted the gas to get there and back. *sigh*

[Fuzzybear]

Beth

[Rive.]

Not only is it 'weird' but frankly (merely my opinion, here) it feels inappropriate. I mean what on earth is the therapeutic intent in your T sending you *that* recommendation?!

[Quietmind 2]

Wow, I'm speechless. Will be thinking of you and your session.