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Mountaindewed
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Default Jul 24, 2022 at 05:56 AM
  #21
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Originally Posted by Quietmind 2 View Post
You don't have to answer me if not comfortable: If you experience dysphoria that's worsened by a higher weight, it could be very relevant to tell her.
It is about my dysphoria and she is trying to get me to understand that guys come in all shapes and sizes too. I don't know though. My last therapist told me if I lose much more I won't look masculine enough to pass. Honestly at this point I am just starting to feel a bit out of control with my eating habits and weight issues and I know my therapist needs to know.

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Default Jul 24, 2022 at 12:26 PM
  #22
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It is about my dysphoria and she is trying to get me to understand that guys come in all shapes and sizes too. I don't know though. My last therapist told me if I lose much more I won't look masculine enough to pass. Honestly at this point I am just starting to feel a bit out of control with my eating habits and weight issues and I know my therapist needs to know.

I'm going to preface this by saying I don't know much about dysphoria. But I don't see how it's helpful for her to say that guys come in all shapes and sizes. I'm a cis female, and if I was having weight concerns, it wouldn't help me to hear that women come in all shapes and sizes either.

It also seems wrong for your last T to talk about passing. Maybe she thought that would somehow change your mind about losing weight? But it seems like an inappropriate and sort of trans-phobic way to do so. Would she tell a cis male client that, for example? It definitely seems good that you're seeing a different T now....
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Default Jul 31, 2022 at 01:40 AM
  #23
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It is about my dysphoria and she is trying to get me to understand that guys come in all shapes and sizes too. I don't know though. My last therapist told me if I lose much more I won't look masculine enough to pass. Honestly at this point I am just starting to feel a bit out of control with my eating habits and weight issues and I know my therapist needs to know.
I've some thoughts as a trans person, you don't have to agree with me.

While guys come in all shapes and sizes, there can be a subculture among your local community for trans men to look in a specificly masculine way in order to be deemed attractive.

Trans identity often influences someone's eating disorder(s), yet many treatment modalities exclude, erase, or even harm us in recovery.

Disordered eating, and then eating disorders can emerge as an attempt to control someone's body’s gendered characteristics.

I can't transition for major reasons and both folks like me and folks on HRT do often semi consciously restrict food to cope with that.

A therapist once told me to consider unpacking my beliefs about masculinity. Not just looks, but underlying beliefs of what makes a man, a man. If it's beliefs on masculinity are relevant for you, I hope your T can help.
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Default Jul 31, 2022 at 05:54 AM
  #24
On Friday I asked my endocronolgist who prescribes my HRT about my weight and he said he doesn't like to focus on weight but losing another 10-20 pounds would be good for health reasons. I feel like its often best to take a medical doctors advice when it comes to weight then a therapist, but I know they can be wrong too. I just trust this guy and know him more then my current therapist.

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Default Jul 31, 2022 at 01:14 PM
  #25
But I've dealt with wanting to lose weight before I even came out and the only people who ever seem to have an issue with it are therapists. Everyone else is fine with my weight loss.

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Default Jul 31, 2022 at 05:17 PM
  #26
Why not just quit talking to the therapist about weight then? Take it off the table

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Default Jul 31, 2022 at 05:24 PM
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Why not just quit talking to the therapist about weight then? Take it off the table
She is the one who brings it up. She specializes in eating disorders and I was sent to her mainly because my 1st one quit on my but also I've had therapists in the past refuse to work with me before because of this issue

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Default Jul 31, 2022 at 06:50 PM
  #28
I meant just tell her you will not discuss it no matter if she brings it up or not. I would not care if one wouldn't work just because I was unwilling to submit to whatever they imposed -but it is up to you.

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