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atisketatasket
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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 12:52 PM
  #921
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
You just described my general diet. Alas no dinner parties for us.
I looked and I have no fewer than 7 types of white beans, a bunch of different lentils (bean or not bean), a few different red beans, pinto beans, black beans, and several peas. Yum. I also have an assortment of nuts and beans and hemp to make non-dairy drinks out of. My favorite right now is macadamia and tiger nut usually with a date or two added in for extra yum.
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Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
Are we gonna need two kitchens, my suite(sic)?
It sounds like you and stopdog are going to share a kitchen.

That will end well, what with the proximity of sharp objects and all. Since neither of you are known for not being annoying to the other.

ETA: I cannot abide milk in cereal. Ick, soggggggy.

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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 12:53 PM
  #922
Omg, @@, i lol'd.
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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 01:06 PM
  #923
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
It sounds like you and stopdog are going to share a kitchen.

That will end well, what with the proximity of sharp objects and all. Since neither of you are known for not being annoying to the other.
To be fair, I don't really share a kitchen well with anyone. I could probably have dinner with exhankster (no dairy and lots of beans) -but then she would have to go home.

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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 01:25 PM
  #924
To be fair, any time one shares beans for dinner, going home soon after is wise.

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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 01:54 PM
  #925
I have found there is not a problem if you eat them enough.

And just when we get exhankster mostly house trained, along comes someone who tries to overly excite her.

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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 04:48 PM
  #926
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
To be fair, I don't really share a kitchen well with anyone. I could probably have dinner with exhankster (no dairy and lots of beans) -but then she would have to go home.

I also don't share kitchens well if I'm the one cooking. I just want everyone to stay out!
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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 04:53 PM
  #927
I'm the same. I find cooking takes so much concentration that I can't focus on anything else, and if people want to meddle...

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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 05:24 PM
  #928
Had my first physical therapy appointment. I didn't really feel anything while I was there but I'm a bit sore now. Ready to go home and put the heating pad on.

Also T tonight.

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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 06:28 PM
  #929
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I had a group orientation for my new pdoc. That was the dumbest, most unorganized group I've ever experienced. 1. She was hard to understand with her thick accent and fast pace. 2. I learned nothing new. 3. She didn't know how to Zoom. 4. Her guest speaker lectured and preached how we need to eat "Daniel's diet" from the bible.

Speaking of diet: I made H's favorite meal last night for his b-day dinner: ricotta stuffed shells. I've only made them once before, like 7 years ago. They turned out so yummy!
Maybe I am wrong but isn't this a second pdoc you are going to? If so is there you can't go back to the first one?
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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 06:35 PM
  #930
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Maybe I am wrong but isn't this a second pdoc you are going to? If so is there you can't go back to the first one?
Yes, this is pdoc #2. I don't want to go back to the first one because she won't prescribe me my benzos or my sleep aide (Doxepin). I have an appointment with the pdoc on Monday, so I'm going to express that I didn't give my permission to be subjected to religious information especially because I suffer from religious trauma.

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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 06:46 PM
  #931
Just hung up from talking to my coach. Turns out today was our last call, not next week, because I worked ahead a week, I've already finished the program so we ended today. I spent about 20 minutes of our call talking about h's health issues and how I'm struggling to deal with him when he gets like he's been today, struggling to hold onto myself and use the tools I learned to the fullest. BUT I realized something while we were talking, and I told her this too; that even though I was struggling with it, I was also coherently talking about it, not crying, had already found my way through what I was feeling earlier (the whole guilt and regret that had begun, I finally remembered to accept and welcome the feelings and identified the thought distortions and core beliefs behind them and so worked my way through them after a few hours) whereas before I started this program, I would have been an emotional mess right now unable to think clearly. She gave me a good suggestion for when h gets like this: that i can ask him what he needs in the moment and if being alone in bed is what he needs, then I can honor it. Yeah, I recall L suggesting the same thing in the past. I tried it once as I recall back then, I had forgotten about it I guess, but it works I guess because all I do is annoy him when I want to follow him and try to fix it. I can't fix it. He has to deal with his own thoughts. I can only deal with my own. I need to learn how to be supportive without trying to fix (ie control) his thoughts. I get so frustrated because i'm trying to control something that isn't mine to control, I think. Artie needs to stay in her own emotional lane, perhaps? Anyway it was such a helpful course and I'm glad I'll be able to continue using the app on my own. Well that was a lot.
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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 06:50 PM
  #932
She has said SO many things that I know L had told me at one time or other - very little in this program was new to me, I'd heard most of it before and I know I used some of it before but didn't make any of it a habit - the past 7 weeks has taught me that I want to make a few of these things permanent. They really work for me. okay i will stop now.
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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 07:23 PM
  #933
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Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal View Post
Just hung up from talking to my coach. Turns out today was our last call, not next week, because I worked ahead a week, I've already finished the program so we ended today. I spent about 20 minutes of our call talking about h's health issues and how I'm struggling to deal with him when he gets like he's been today, struggling to hold onto myself and use the tools I learned to the fullest. BUT I realized something while we were talking, and I told her this too; that even though I was struggling with it, I was also coherently talking about it, not crying, had already found my way through what I was feeling earlier (the whole guilt and regret that had begun, I finally remembered to accept and welcome the feelings and identified the thought distortions and core beliefs behind them and so worked my way through them after a few hours) whereas before I started this program, I would have been an emotional mess right now unable to think clearly. She gave me a good suggestion for when h gets like this: that i can ask him what he needs in the moment and if being alone in bed is what he needs, then I can honor it. Yeah, I recall L suggesting the same thing in the past. I tried it once as I recall back then, I had forgotten about it I guess, but it works I guess because all I do is annoy him when I want to follow him and try to fix it. I can't fix it. He has to deal with his own thoughts. I can only deal with my own. I need to learn how to be supportive without trying to fix (ie control) his thoughts. I get so frustrated because i'm trying to control something that isn't mine to control, I think. Artie needs to stay in her own emotional lane, perhaps? Anyway it was such a helpful course and I'm glad I'll be able to continue using the app on my own. Well that was a lot.

Artie, this all sounds like a lot of progress! And what you said about how L may have said a bunch of it before, you may just not have been ready to hear it at that time. Or it could be that L presented it in a different way.
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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 07:44 PM
  #934
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I have found there is not a problem if you eat them enough.

And just when we get exhankster mostly house trained, along comes someone who tries to overly excite her.
Treats! Toys!
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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 07:51 PM
  #935
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Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail View Post
I'm the same. I find cooking takes so much concentration that I can't focus on anything else, and if people want to meddle...
I used to help with the coffee cleanup at work. The usual other person and i got along just fine. Her vacation replacement taught me a lot by almost making me cry. She just kept nudging me out of the way. Nudge, nudge nudge. The usual person lived with her mom and her sister and nephew and i thought, she is not nudging me away because she is more used to interacting with humans. Like my mom, i felt. The usual person included me in her circle, within her boundaries. Well also we had graduated from the same charm school - (Montgomery) Wendy Ward.
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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 08:56 PM
  #936
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Treats! Toys!
Belllyyyyy Rubs! Ear scritches. Whooo's a Good Una????

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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 09:16 PM
  #937
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Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal View Post
She has said SO many things that I know L had told me at one time or other - very little in this program was new to me, I'd heard most of it before and I know I used some of it before but didn't make any of it a habit - the past 7 weeks has taught me that I want to make a few of these things permanent. They really work for me. okay i will stop now.
I feel ya on this. So far, most things I am doing in trauma therapy aren't news to me, yet the way she presents the info, the way we process it together, the psychoeducation is all different from my regular T, that it feels different and new in a way.
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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 09:25 PM
  #938
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Artie, this all sounds like a lot of progress! And what you said about how L may have said a bunch of it before, you may just not have been ready to hear it at that time. Or it could be that L presented it in a different way.


Quote:
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I feel ya on this. So far, most things I am doing in trauma therapy aren't news to me, yet the way she presents the info, the way we process it together, the psychoeducation is all different from my regular T, that it feels different and new in a way.

Y'know as healing in so many ways as the therapy relationship with L was, and I remain so very grateful for that, I think maybe some of the more concrete things like these tools might have kinda got lost in the shuffle if that makes sense? Or, or, maybe the relationship was the fertile ground that those seeds were planted in? And this course was like a spring rain that watered the ground of my psyche and made them bloom? Ok that's a little weird even for me. But it's bedtime since I get up at 4:15 am this week for chat. Besides I gotta go get my nightly Johnny Gage fix (reruns of the old Emergency! is on from 7-9pm here)

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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 10:17 PM
  #939
I am directing a BA thesis this year, a draft of a novel incorporating aspects of world mythology.

I gave my first feedback today, one point of which was “statistically you use an adverb every 50 words. Stop it.”

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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 11:19 PM
  #940
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I am directing a BA thesis this year, a draft of a novel incorporating aspects of world mythology.

I gave my first feedback today, one point of which was “statistically you use an adverb every 50 words. Stop it.”
She said snappishly. (I am sure you were very polite - I would be snappish).

(there is a lesbian author Katherine V Forrest who wrote several of the earlier girl gets girl and doesn't go back to a man novels -but her use of adverbs is such that one starts to laugh at the writing within the first 3 paragraphs)

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