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Default Aug 23, 2022 at 04:34 PM
  #1
I was wondering if anyone on here believes that it was destiny that got you to your current or any of your former Therapists. I mentioned this to my Therapist last week and she wasn't quite sure if that was the case, although I strongly believe that. For instance with my first adult Therapist who I saw for 4 years (from the beginning of 2009 to the end if 2012), if I had decided to start Therapy now she wouldn't be my Therapist since she now lives in another part of the Country. I strongly believe that you are at the right place at the right time that you end up with the Therapist you get.

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Default Aug 23, 2022 at 04:47 PM
  #2
I'm not sure if I would call it destiny or luck or fate. I honestly don't know what I would label it. However, I do think I agree with you. I believe that things are meant to be.

I believe I was meant to be with L right now. I believe that going through ex-T abandoning me lead me to T. And when my time was up with T, a series of events lead me to L. If ex-T didn't abandon me, I probably would have never been with T and would therefore never have found L. T helped me with skills and coping in order to prepare me for someone like L. Even L says that if I didn't have all my skills work from T, she probably wouldn't have taken me on full-time.

I believe the same about other aspects of my life. I believe that about people and events, that they are meant to be. It's also why I live my life with very little regrets. Each thing has a purpose.

I do think this is probably a more religious/spiritual take on things, so I bet many might not agree.

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Default Aug 23, 2022 at 05:07 PM
  #3
With my Ex T, yes, absolutely. I had been searchin for months and months. Most I only had one (sometime disastrous!) session with, others I had seen for several sessions before realising they weren't right. I thought I had come to the end of the road I had tried so many. I took a break and in that break I thought 'f*** it, I'll give it one more shot at looking', and that's when I found her, right on my doorstep, as if out of nowhere the absolutely perfect person for me to do the work I needed to do.

Current T? Time may change things but right now I'm not sure she is the right person for the work, but she was (as we have half joked between us) the best of a bad bunch! Feel bad saying it because I'm sure I'm not a delightful client, certainly not an easy one, but yeah, we are just about clinging on it feels.
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Default Aug 23, 2022 at 05:14 PM
  #4
I definitely think that for most of my T's, the ones I stayed with anyway, it was definitely who I needed to be with at the time I needed to be with them. Maybe it is destiny, or Fate, or God. I don't know. But they each seemed to be what I needed at the moment.

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Default Aug 23, 2022 at 05:25 PM
  #5
I also am not sure I'd use the term destiny but I do believe we enter each others lives for a reason and that certain people are meant to be part of our life journey either to learn from or learn with..
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Default Aug 23, 2022 at 08:05 PM
  #6
I don’t really believe in destiny, but I must say I feel something has been in place with my current trauma T. I originally met her at an inpatient facility, and always managed to work with her in some way each time I’ve gone. One time she had just re-started working there that same week!

Then I found her online that she does private practice now. She had availability (rare enough as it is), AND had after work hours. We’ve gotten a lot of work done in a year, though it feels like we’ve barely scratched the surface.
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Default Aug 23, 2022 at 09:13 PM
  #7
I definitely believe I was meant to meet and start working with my current therapist when I did.

I was working with my long term therapist (LT) when one day it hit me I should start seeing and Emdr T. I feared LT would retire and I would be left without her and still need therapy. I didn't tell her my fears just that I thought it was time.I had a consult with another T and it was horrible. I was afraid to try somebody else. My med manager offered to refer me to someone she worked with, I declined. LT encouraged me a few times to consider trying again. I talked to med manager who told me about current T BUT said sbe had given her notice at the clinic. She was going into private practice but to watch psychology today.

I nervously decided to give her a try. She was amazing. When LT died suddenly after seeing current T for 10 months, I relized just how fortunate I was. The horrible consultant T retired just a few months after the death. Had I seen her I would have lost both Ts. Had I not gotten the sudden idea to see someone else I would would have been left to deal with the grief alone. I struggled so much and had an amazing T. I can't image going it alone.

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Default Aug 24, 2022 at 06:16 AM
  #8
Yes, I do. There are too many strange coincidences that seem to have brought us together. Too many other pieces that needed to have been moved, and slotted, just so very precisely. At least, this is what I choose to believe.

I can't see this same synchronicity at play in other aspects of my life though.
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Default Aug 24, 2022 at 07:26 AM
  #9
Yes very much so. I believe that with everyone that I've met. Even my ex-husband, who was horrible to me in a lot of ways, was exactly the person I needed to meet at the time because he gave me a lot of good as well as forced me to grow in ways that I needed. My therapists have all been so totally different but each one was right for me at the time and I had to grow through the relationship in order to get so a new phase of my life.
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Default Aug 24, 2022 at 08:25 AM
  #10
For me....just my insurance. No destiny or meant to be stuff

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Default Aug 25, 2022 at 07:04 AM
  #11
Not really. It was my work looking through my insurance provider list and making the best guess I could with limited choices and information. It turned out fantastic, but honestly, I was just lucky. I could get all philosophical and call it “destiny” or “divine intervention”, but sometimes things just coincidentally work out through careful planning and good insurance.
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Default Aug 25, 2022 at 09:25 AM
  #12
I absolutely think so with ex-longterm-t. I'd been researching names my pdoc had given me, when I stumbled on L's psychology today profile (she was not on his list). We just clicked from the first phone call, it seemed something like fate, especially since I saw her for over 10 years.

The first 2 t's I'd tried long before finding her, not so much, except for, they definitely taught me what I wasn't looking for in a t and that was important too.
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Default Aug 25, 2022 at 09:32 AM
  #13
I don't believe in concepts like destiny or fate, so no, I do not think there is anything "meant to be" about my relationship with my T. But I do love serendipity and sometimes marvel at how lucky I am to have found my T.
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Default Aug 26, 2022 at 06:40 AM
  #14
My transference T and I discussed this at one of our last sessions. I said "If it weren't for you I don't know if certain things would have happened." And she said "I don't really like the term, but this seems like an apropriate situation to use the phrase 'everything happens for a reason."

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Default Aug 31, 2022 at 12:40 PM
  #15
Destiny? I’m not sure. Synchronicity? Absolutely!

Had an exploitative relationship with a psychiatrist in the 1990’s. Didn’t know where to go for help…found a T nearly 2 hrs. away one way who turned out to be excellent. This T also taught medical ethics, psychology at a nearby University.
I had to move a few years later. Didn’t trust to find a T for more than ten-fifteen years:

Found the T I’m seeing now- she teaches ethics and psychology at a University I used to attend…the University property borders the street where my childhood home stands.

If I had known she was practicing fifteen years ago…..
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Default Aug 31, 2022 at 12:47 PM
  #16
Possibly bc it was him who initiated the applying for SSI for me
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Default Aug 31, 2022 at 07:19 PM
  #17
If Destiny led me to my therapists, Destiny has some kind of a beef with me.

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Default Sep 01, 2022 at 09:53 AM
  #18
No- of course not.

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Default Sep 07, 2022 at 08:32 PM
  #19
Yes, absolutely, and my therapist has said the same thing
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Default Sep 08, 2022 at 12:13 AM
  #20
I do, yes. I had seen so many therapists before him. The road that led me to him... many people would tell me I put myself on that "road." That I tortured myself, was weak, and other similar things. I can't say they're wrong, but had it not been for going through what I had been, with certain people, I never would have gone to see my current therapist.

All the clients he has are referred to him other therapists/psychiatrists that can't take their patients any further. I happen to stumble upon him. He must have heard something in my voice, and had plenty of openings because he let me come in and see him not long after my initial phone call.

There's other factors that make me believe it was destiny. It was meant to be.

Had I left this dump of a state I live in years ago, like I wanted to, I never would have met him. He's one of the best things that's come out of my living here.
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