Using a therapist for mediation

So I have this “conflict” with a colleague—using scare quotes because to me it’s not a conflict at all, that’s how it’s being described to avoid saying she’s an ableist.

Long story short: colleague denied a hearing accessibility request so I could participate in a scholarly weekly reading group she runs. Balked at a compromise I offered. Told me when I tried to discuss it further she wanted a mediator, without us even trying to work it out ourselves first. Eventually it got up to our chair, who first told her to work it out between us (a conversation that did not go well because she spent the time telling me we could no longer be friends, already baked in the cake for me but not somethibg I would ever say to someone’s face), then he spoke to us each individually, but she still insisted on mediation. I reluctantly agreed for chair’s sake (he’s a friend too, from another department and filling in for the year) if it was not someone official with the university as she wanted (no, I am not going to out myself as disabled to someone official against my will) and someone who knew something about disability.

Along the way there were all kinds of passive-aggressive actions by said colleague that I had to ignore.

Chair found a local therapist who is also hard of hearing. We’ve all met with her individually. Then next week we all three meet with her together. It’s like marriage counseling! With your boss!

My concern is the therapist does in fact seem to think of this as marriage counseling. Everyone has a perspective and those should be discussed and heard and whatever, so we can work together.

But this isn’t a communication problem or misunderstanding. I mean, suppose I were a person of color and my colleague used a racial slur. Would we be talking about mediation and perspectives? I don’t think so.

Anyway, some questions:
1) has anyone used a therapist for mediation and how did it go?
2) if you’ve been to marriage counseling, what is the biggest problem your counselor helped you solve? Did it work long term?

Thanks!