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LostOnTheTrail
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Default Sep 08, 2022 at 10:33 AM
  #1
Anything you want to say to your T, big or small - post it here.

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'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin

Last edited by bluekoi; Sep 08, 2022 at 08:19 PM..
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Default Sep 08, 2022 at 11:34 AM
  #2
You are awesome. That being said I hope it's okay if I keep my distance. I am wary of growing overly fond of and dependent on you.

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Default Sep 08, 2022 at 12:49 PM
  #3
Sunday feels too far away. All I want to do is curl up in my bed and cry.
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Default Sep 08, 2022 at 03:07 PM
  #4
I know, I know, you harped on it so much, that I don't really know you.

Even so, I like the you that I do know, and I miss talking to her, even if she's not technically the real you.

Stupid convoluted therapy relationship.

One of these days I'll send you a letter. I've a few things to say that I didn't say back in December but that dang it, I want you to know. I wish we could just freakin' talk about it.
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Default Sep 08, 2022 at 04:45 PM
  #5
I've been looking for that blog post I mentioned all day, and I can't find it.
Shame, really, because it was so comprehensive on that subject.

The Critic still hates that my Wellbeing Plan exists.

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'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
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Default Sep 08, 2022 at 08:46 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal View Post
I know, I know, you harped on it so much, that I don't really know you.

Even so, I like the you that I do know, and I miss talking to her, even if she's not technically the real you.

Stupid convoluted therapy relationship.

One of these days I'll send you a letter. I've a few things to say that I didn't say back in December but that dang it, I want you to know. I wish we could just freakin' talk about it.
I hope you don't mind me replying, Artie. I REALLY don't like that she said that you don't really know her. You do. You were with her for a long time, and while she may be in more of a "therapist" mode when she's with you, and unless she's a sociopath, you saw her. You can't go 10 years with someone and not know the 'essence' of them. I think she is wrong.
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Default Sep 09, 2022 at 06:45 AM
  #7
I’d really like you to sit close to me next week and just be there with me. I know I could ask for this and you would be on board, but I’m not feeling up to it. I don’t want to ask you to sit on the floor with me because it’s not all that comfortable. I would just like to be close right now
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Default Sep 09, 2022 at 01:37 PM
  #8
You encourage me to email you and you love reading them. I guess you don't ever reply on Fridays either. Not that its a big deal though. I think I mainly keep checking my email for a shipping notice for a couple things I should have gotten awhile ago.

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Default Sep 09, 2022 at 01:43 PM
  #9
I admit I am feeling less than ok today. But it has occurred to me that you may have been trying to get rid of me for a long time..I just didn't realise before.
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Default Sep 09, 2022 at 02:06 PM
  #10
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
You encourage me to email you and you love reading them. I guess you don't ever reply on Fridays either. Not that its a big deal though. I think I mainly keep checking my email for a shipping notice for a couple things I should have gotten awhile ago.
Just fyi, amazon had a power outage in michigan and has barely delivered anything in over a week.
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Default Sep 09, 2022 at 02:36 PM
  #11
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Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
Just fyi, amazon had a power outage in michigan and has barely delivered anything in over a week.
It was from the yankee candle store and I ordered 3 things at once one of which I've already gotten. The other 2 are in "progress"

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Default Sep 09, 2022 at 03:38 PM
  #12
Dear T,
How you were today particularly, and to some degree how you were Tuesday--it felt like you were back to the T that I'd been missing lately. Perhaps you just needed this latest trip? Just felt very connected and supported. So thanks for that. And for sharing that funny story about cursing in front of your son and how it was "his favorite memory" for a long time.

Now I feel I'm back in a place where I can tackle the more difficult work with you. Perhaps we can start on some of that Monday?

Love,
LT
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Default Sep 10, 2022 at 02:21 AM
  #13
That feeling of drowning hasn't dissipated one bit. Yesterday felt like day one, without the insulation that shock provides. I will now try to float through today.

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'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
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Default Sep 11, 2022 at 09:41 AM
  #14
Now dragging myself through another day. Trying to set my sights on Monday, rather than Thursday...as Monday is closer.

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'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
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Default Sep 11, 2022 at 11:46 AM
  #15
I'll probably get crap again about my weight. I did buy a bunch of stuff I can eat and I've been drinking Ensures and getting protein. Yesterday I ate pretty well and I was eating throughout the day. I just don't get why we need to have a discussion about my weight each time. My pdoc told me its fine to be thin. You may be annoyed that I haven't been eating dinner or not waking up when my mom tells me its ready though. Which I guess is understandable.

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Last edited by Mountaindewed; Sep 11, 2022 at 12:32 PM..
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Default Sep 12, 2022 at 07:30 AM
  #16
Your response made me cry. I know you haven't forgotten about me but it's always at the times I most need you that something goes wrong. And none of the people who I thought would be the most concerned about how I am after my surgery haven't been in contact or they even forgot I was having it. The couple of people who HAVE asked are those which I haven't even seen in years. I've felt very alone and forgotten about and deeply sad. And now due to the Queen's funeral it looks likely my appt next week will be cancelled. I know it's disrespectful but I wish it was on the Sunday.
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Default Sep 12, 2022 at 10:26 AM
  #17
Well, I may finally be getting to the point of letting go of the whole "you don't know me" thing you kept saying. I have decided to choose to believe what I know inside myself - that I do know the essence of you (thanks, Velcro for the word) after 10+ years of sessions, and I'm pretty sure that's what I mean when I say I feel like I do know you. (I wish now though that I'd thought to ask in response to your assertion what, after the door closes behind me when I leave, do you morph into sociopath mode?! Should I be watching the news??)
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Default Sep 12, 2022 at 11:29 AM
  #18
Three more sleeps.

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'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
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Default Sep 12, 2022 at 12:41 PM
  #19
I have this probably irrational fear of you sending me IP and me getting a tube down my nose so I'm trying to stay on top of my calories. I think 1700 a day is plenty. I guess I have been holding myself back on my eating but I'm still actually eating enough.

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Default Sep 12, 2022 at 12:53 PM
  #20
Hi E. It was so weird for me to start crying when you handed me the stuffed animal. What is wrong with me? I am so so sad all the time.
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