Couch 240: The Vanadis Couch

Aw, so cute!!!

I'll plop down next to you, Art.

After months of working with small germy folk without catching so much as a sniffle, I have finally gotten the crud that's going around. Just a nasty cold. Not so sick that I am able to sleep all day but too sick to do much other than be bored and cranky. I did put out the Christmas decorations this morning, in small bursts, but it wore me out.

Still seeing bicycle guy. It's going really well except sometimes something happens that makes me go "That response was super healthy and relationship affirming and what the heck am I supposed to do with that?!?!?!?!" Inside my head. The outside of my head looks so calm and relationship-y. Then my former therapist's voice in my head tells me stuff about healing and relationship and I breathe and get on over the shock and move on. Then I tell my new therapist about it (because I went and found a new one) and she says therapist-y stuff too.

So...things are going pretty well here. I'm still reading the Couch, keeping up with you all and sending mental hugs (or waving from a distance) even though I don't have much time to respond to folks.

What breed is that tiny adorable little fluff?

Awww! So cute!

Sheltie! She's only 2 weeks old right now.

I took a nap this afternoon and dreamed i was just so happy and comfortable. As i woke up, i realized my abdominal pain has decreased to where i can stand up straight and it doesnt totally consume my mind. I do not like pain. More bargaining with the supreme being going on here!

Sorry you're sick and hope you feel better soon. Glad to hear things are going well with bicycle guy! Sounds like you've learned a lot from therapy. Thanks for checking in!

Curious about something that came up in therapy yesterday: Do you tell your good friends that you love them? Or have you in the past? (Maybe not often, but just at some point.) Also, do you say that to your pets? Yes on both for me.

It came up due to some conversations I've been having in there that led me to say, "I've been wondering if my definition of 'love' and maybe 'caring' is different from most people's." Like that maybe my definition of it was a bit looser. And Dr. T said, "Well, it's different from mine at least. For example, I don't tell my friends that I love them."

I asked him about pets--I know he has a few--but he didn't answer that one. I'm just going to assume no.

No - I don't tell friends I love them and I rarely say it to pets.

I don’t tell friends I love them except very rarely, with the ASL sign. Pets...I might have aaid “I wuv you” (please keep the gagging sound down, SD) but not the same.

Saying I love you more or to a wider audience doesn’t mean a different definition. It just means your rationale for saying it is different from mine.

But you'll look sweet
Upon the seat
Of a bicycle built for two.

Hahahahahaha! I will make sure to sing that to him next time we talk....

LT- I say "Love you!" to my closest friends all the time, usually with a hug when we're saying goodbye. And to my sisters. Friends and sisters say it to me too, so it's not just me. We also often exchange heart emojis when we text or sign texts or emails "Love."

You warned me too late.
I do tell the pets they are my favorite cat/dog (describing them differently for each pet so one dog is my favorite tweaky dog and the other is my favorite bouncy dog = that sort of thing)

In what will come as a surprise to no one - I have never used a heart symbol for anything in my entire life.

I pretty much reserve saying love for partners (and ex partner my person - I loved her very much) and very close family (grandmother, parents, and sibling on occasion)
Or when making up pretend snarky letters to idiots - Dear Utility Company - your repair person was late and when he finally showed up, he didn't know how to fix the problem so another call had to be scheduled. Tardy and incompetent is not inspiring confidence. Love Stopdog

I tell my cats I love them about a zillion times a day. I don’t say it often, but I’ve told my closest friends that I love them.

I have never told any of my friends I love them as it would not be comfortable to me. I would feel awkward if they said it to me. That doesn't mean I don't feel love for them though or believe I do love them in a platonic way...I dunno I've only ever said I love you to my husband, kids and more recently my mother and father. I have loving feelings for my T that if it was the therapy space felt more open and I felt she was open to receiving it I would likely be comfortable sharing.

Well, that tears it. We need Couch t-shirts that say “I STOPDOG”.

I don't love my cat. I feel sorry for him (he is old and a rescue cat with one eye who bumps into furniture all the time), but he is really annoying. I look after him and that annoys me too. I wish he could look after himself and didn't stare at me (in his one-eyed way), then I might feel more warmly towards him. Staring is not an endearing quality in any creature.

I love both of my cats and I still love and miss my angel Ebony.

Thanks for all the replies! It's interesting, the variation. Also, that you might feel the love, but not actually say it.